Trying to get moving

Starting_over · Post by **Starting_over** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:30 am

Hello all -

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. My strong sense of obligation and respsonibility are the only things that get me off the couch some days. I consider myself a very positive, self-motivated individual and yet I fight with myself everyday to stay above water. On weekends I am so exhausted from this fight that a lot of times I sleep all day or at least lay on the couch. Then I hit the guilt wall because I should have done great things with the kids, should have cleaned the house, should have worked on the work I brought home. Sunday nights are panic central. I got this program because I don't think live should be an inner battle like this all the time. I feel like I fake my life in front of everyone because literally no one knows I have this problem. They all think I exhaust myself by working too hard. And I do work hard, but come on, I know the negative talk in my head and I know depression when I see it. I am currently inbetween jobs. So I am taking time to organize my house and life and find my next career step. However, with no one watching and no job to get to, I have been lazy. I did clean the whole house and have a garage sale and then after that, I just lost control of it again. I got depressed that jobs weren't responding quickly to be applications. Now I have great opportunities that I am interviewing for in the next week! I should be elated, and instead I am dragging. I have a professional exam to study for, a house to clean, errands to run, kids to spend extra time with and I am stuck to the chair and starting the worrying and mental self-flogging. I just started the tapes last week. Any hints on how to get moving so I don't waste this precious time that I have while I don't need to work?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:42 am

Do you have anyone that you can ask to come help? That has always helped me. I would make a trade, you come help me then next week I will come help you. Most of my friends would have at least one project they could use help with. If not in person, then maybe just an accountability call or email.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 11:37 am

This sounds almost too simple a reply to your post, but it is quite true: don't think too much about all this stuff, just work on your program, day to day. Commit to doing this for no one other than yourself. I began this program last June, too depressed to know what day it was. I picked up the introduction material, watched the intro DVD (a couple of times) and began working the program. I did overcome my depression, and I never worried about day to day stuff. If I did not feel like doing something, I did not worry about that, and I did not discuss it with myself, or anyone else. I did work the program. I never stopped doing that. So, my advice is stop having all these conversations with yourself and just work on the program. Best of luck.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:16 am

Starting Over,

I feel exactly the same way. I am lucky enough to have a job now, but often wish I didn't. I guess I should be thankful for being employed, but it doesn't change how I feel. I need help.