Thank you! Thank you!
still that has to feel like a big acomplishment.
Exactly!
I just last night decided to put the personal issue on the background for a more pressing issue: anger. There is actually an enjoyalble aspect of the personal issue. With anger there is nothing enjoyable. In fact for me it has a very worrisome element. I worry in getting so angry that I get a heart attack.
I do not want to overload my brain with two issues. I will deal with the more pressing one first.
Anger has been an on and off nemesis for me since I was a child (30-35 years ago.) Thankfully I know what the anger-makers are: my former bank and my next door neighbor. The bank a few weeks ago started calling me ALOT about being only 18 days late on a loan. What had me angry was calling me 4 times in one day, a week later another 4 times again in one day, and then twice in one day. After the first day of 4 calls, I called back to say I am going thru some financial straits and had to pay them my rent. I even gave them my rent amount. Their letter said to let them know if you were going through hard times. (A paragraph later they then mention collection. So the letter goes from Mother Teresa to Tony Soprano. This is another reason for my anger.)
The second day of 4 calls was on the day of the 2nd Presidential debate. At that point I was ticked and decided to call them the next day. It was 8:40 in the morning and they called for the 9th time. I was asleep, home before starting my new job. I called and said I would get the money from my CD--taking the penalty--pay them, and close out the CD all together along with my checking and savings account since they are hounding me for being just 18 days late. I mentioned last year I once missed a month and got no phone calls. The only thing that happened--and it was the right thing to happen--my next month's mailed bill was doubled. Of course there was no comment made by the phone rep about this different scenario from 2007. I told him to note my account that I would pay the bill today and close out the account. One hour later I am literally zipping up my jacket to go to the bank branch and the bank calls me--for the 10th time in two weeks. I yelled at that rep. OMG, I was in collection almost 10 years ago and the collection agencies never hounded me like this? And I am the bank's customer?
That day I paid the loan bill, withdrew my monies from the accounts and waited a week for the last direct deposit from my old job to hit the account. A week ago yesterday I went and offically closed the accounts, telling the account manager his credit department hounding me more than collection agencies for being less than a month late so I am taking my money out.
Yesterday morning @ exactly 8:10 my phone rang, waking me up. It was the bank saying I was late with a payment
. This woke me up real fast and threw me into a verbal rage. The rage in turn woke my wife. I said I already paid and was just so pissed they're at it again. It wasn't until after I got off the call, and I told my wife, they were calling about this month's loan bill which is a whopping 12 days late
. If I had known that, I would have ripped the rep a new one about breaking my chops about being only 12 days late. Last time it was because I was 18 days late--now 12?! I told my wife I had told the caller I was going to make the payment now but I changed my mind. I won't and will wait for a call back. (They already have my # on speed dial
) and make my point about now it's being for 12 days late. Why? A few weeks ago it was for 18 days and now 12--the collection agencies give you 30 days. Why? I will end the conversation by calming wish the bank be the next Lehman Brothers.
I left a phone message for the branch account manager I closed my accounts with. The branch was open but he wasn't in. I told hiim of the 8:10 call now for being 12 days late. He had said he wished he knew of this earlier. He sounded like a genuinely nice guy. I asked him for a supervisor, manager, or VP name in the credit department
I am also looking into bringing this situation to the media. I think they might like a story how during extremely tough economic times a bank is squeezing it's customers for being less than a month late on paying loan bills.
I am also going to start paying the lottery much more. Like I told the account manager and yesterday's caller: if I won the lottery the first thing I would do is not buy something expensive. The first thing I would do is pay off the entire loan and tell the bank to first put the check where the sun doesn't shine
.
My neighbor lives literally next door to me. He is a loud-mouth who lives alone and has alot of problems with his ex-wife/girlfriend. 3-5 nights a week he is yelling, cursing, and complaining on the phone to her. (It amazes me she stays on the call to listen to all of his spewing.) I hate having to live next to such a mutt. He's never personally bothered me or my wife. I just feel unfortunate and I dispise I have front row seats to hear his verbal outrages and occasional banging on the walls.
I had another stressor which up until this very morning I did not know what it was. I come home from work and for the first minutes in the apartment I felt mad and would take it out on inanimate objects. (I never have taken out my anger on someone physically. Even when my wife does somethings that irks me, I would never touch her. I think anyone that abuses their wife should in turn get abused.) I also curse.
I have been having these post-work flare-ups for the past year. I figured this was do to leaving each day from a job I hated. I resigned from that job almost 3 weeks ago and still come home angry. I wondered what was cause for this. It's not my wife. I am now in a job I like. My health except for a little reflux is much improved. My finances are getting in order. I am back doing entrepruerial projects. So what's going on? It came to me this morning: my return-home anger bouts are from the neighbor. I am going into an enviorment I don't want to be in. After I considered Neighbor as the cause for my evening anger, I felt happy about this possbility and knew I solved this portion of the puzzle.
Interestingly, I looked at my neighbor as a test from God. I am becoming like him. He's angry at his ex, yells, curses, and sometimes bangs the wall. I am angry at
him, curse, complain to my wife, and yell at the towel if it falls off the rack
. I do not want to be like Neighbor.
Last night I rediscovered a book on anger I bought several years ago. I also spotted on Amazon two other applicable books. I will stop in a Barnes and Noble one day this week after work and skim the books. I will buy the better book on Amazon because they are cheaper.
I am not happy about the return of my old nemesis but I am happy I am in a great position to deal with it. I admitted I am angry again, have pegged down the reasons, admit once again I am the one making myself angry because it my reaction to the situations which ignites the anger, believe God will help me, and have/will have the approriate books!
we need to eduacate ourselves if there is something in our life that is bothering us. That has helped me alot...to realize I have the ability to help myself
You got that right!
At this point, I will not bring in a "physical" counselor. I have the holy Counselor
who I speak with daily. I won't do a counselor for several reasons: I know when to bring in a therapist like when I felt overwhelmed with health anxiety two years ago and wasn't getting anywhere with my own efforts. I also am a little fearful a therapist will predict me getting physically violent. I have had this anger on/off for 30 years and I've never hurt anyone, including myself. I also don't want to get a dark prediction and start worrying about it. I don't needed an added element to my anger issue. Finally, other than books I don't want to spend money on a therapist for something I have overcome before on my own.
