newbie and hurting

scottds · Post by **scottds** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 12:54 am

Hi,

I just ordered the program yesterday, I have had a bad weekend as my wife has been gone visiting a dying relative. My main focus of anxiety is from work. I have a position which requires much accuracy and accountability. I drive myself insane trying to get everything done and only ever see the bad outcome. I think if we make something bad our customer will come and do something bad, if the phone in the office rings I jump. I get scared to death and get the cold sweats nearly every night that wake me and cause me to loose sleep for the balance of the night.
7-10 days to get the program, seems like a long time away, any advise to hold me over?

Thanks,
Scott

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 1:57 am

I just ordered the program too. I am reading Lucinda's book for now to hold me over. I can't leave my house without panic! Ugh! The book is From Panic to Power. Go buy this and start with the book and a journal. That is what I am trying until the program comes.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:14 am

Hi, I would start with some deep breathing exercises. This is part of the program. Lie down and try to clear your mind. Inhale through yur nose and count one thousand one, one thousand two.. then exhale through your mouth slowly over 4 seconds. Repeat this counting in your head. do it for at least 60 seconds several times a day. Keep practicing. It will be a good tool to help you relax and clear your mind throughout the program. Also If you read the bible Look up scriptures regarding Peace, fear, worry. Write them down on 3x5 cards or something and read and meditate on them several times a day. Watch funny movies and shows as much as possible. Funniest home videos is one of my favorites to alleviate stress. Read as much possitive stuff as possible. Stay away from the news and people who are negative. I think these would be a good start and will really help if you keep doing it. Good luck and welcome to the program.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:36 am

Thanks

What to do at 3am when the fear panic wakes you and your scared to death to go to work. Not going out I'm ok there, my panic is fear of failure and things so out of my control I know it and just can't rationalize it to not feel guilty of of feeling guilty of something out of my control, if that makes sense?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:10 am

Welcome Scottds,

You have had some great advice about breathing and it does work very well so hope you will keep using it each time you feel any signs of anxiety or even stress coming on.

We tend to be perfectionists and truly can be our own worst enemy by our thoughts and wanting to feel in control of all aspects of our daily lives. The only things we can learn to control are our thoughts, our own actions and reactions to ourselves and to the others we share our lives with. We can't change others ways or personalities, only our own. You will learn soooo much from the program once you get it and begin using it but until then you can start trying to use positive thinking each and every minute of your day. Try to only think of kind words to say to yourself, think of anything that feels good and comforting to you. It varies from one person to another but anything that makes you feel joy instead of dread, makes you smile or laugh, makes you feel light and airy and not heavy and tense. I used this technique for 3 months before I ordered the program and saw a huge difference in my outlook on my life and me personally. It becomes very easy with practice and the bad feelings just begin to melt away. Don't beat yourself up by always striving to be perfect because nobody is or can be perfect...we can just be our best. It starts with be the best you can be towards YOURSELF!!

Be GOOD TO YOUR MIND AND BODY...It all comes from within you...Don't ever put yourself down.
Write down all the good traits you have and read them over and over again. I'm sure you have many good qualities to feel proud of.

BELIEVE IN POSITIVE THINKING AND USE IT, BELIEVE IN YOU!!!

Good Luck,
God Bless

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:35 am

Hello scottds!! Welcome to the support forum!! I too tried to be a perfectionist at my work and have control of everything and I'd never think I did a good job and when the day was finished I went home and punished myself for a bad day at work and I only think of the things that doesn't been so well done as I wish. I also compared myself with everyone and I was always the one who was a failure but know I knows it was ONLY my thougt's and my bad selfesteem who give me these feelings. I've been working with the programme and really try to be relaxed and VERY kind to myself it's not easy but it helps. Yes do things you like and even for small steps be proud of yourself I'm sure you are doing a great work and there is no one being "perfect".

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:28 am

Appreciate all the advise, now here it is Sunday noon and already scared for tomorrow??? I'm overwhelmed with what waits for me and feel a catastrophe on the horizon, how do I get back to today and let tomorrow happen then?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 6:57 am

Scott,
Hang in there, the program is on its way. You are on the right track and I truly believe this program will help you tremendously. I am a firm believer in it. One thing I suggest is to change your diet now, if you have not already.
If at all possible eliminate sugar and caffeine.
These are both stimulants and they really do affect us so much. You will be amazed at the difference. Later when you are feeling better you can allow a little in your diet, but for now, I would really try to get them out of your diet. They discuss this in the program I think in lesson 5. And exercise, start walking, whatever you enjoy, but start exercising. When I was having such an extremely difficult time I exercised alot. Even at 3 am. If I couldn't sleep, I had to get rid of some of the anxiety and I would get up and exercise. I do know you have to get up and go to work and you need all the sleep you can get. Maybe at 3am you should try reading a good comforting positive book. Reading helps me get sleepy. Just a suggestion.
And get busy, stay distracted. Try to stay in the precious present moment. Get you a spiral notebook and jot down every time you have a negative thought. Write it down. Then change it to something that is more positive, that makes you feel soothed and comforted, not scared, uptight, and worried. They talk about this in lesson 3, and it works. Also when you have a negative thought, put up a red stop sign in your mind. Say no, I'm not going to think like this, I'm gonna think in a more positive way. You can do this. I know it seems so very difficult right now, but it will get easier. This program has been the answer for me. I was in pitiful shape. I wasn't functioning, couldn't leave my home. It has changed my life so much, and don't give up, it will help you.
Good Luck to you on your journey to recovery.
Your New Friend
Angla

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 7:13 am

Thanks for the support Angela,

I will do my best to start with those things.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:39 am

Hi, Scott you will learn with the program that there is no such thing as failure. That you can not be perfect and none of us are just do your best and that is good enough. I know how hard that is. Tomorrow will be here soon enough so try to enjoy today. Whatever you like to do, do it. Go get some exercise that always helps me. It's alot of hard work but just hang in there it will get better. Remember this stuff always passes. Just try to relax and breathe. Lots of luck