Pecus:
That makes a lot of sense. As i read that I began to think about what it is that always gets me down.
And I realized that it is nearly always a fear of rejection. It is nearly always the fear that if I state my ideas or feelings on something or my thoughts, that I'm becoming vulnerable to rejection.
That nearly always leads to some heavy down feelings.
I realized that as I read Faith's reply
to your post.
Faith, I have quite a few fears simular to yours. Of course I live alone and don't
have as much contacts. But those fears are there. They are dormant a lot of time.
Recently I had a couple of down days.
I'd been receiving some negative political emails. I was so tired of them. So I confronted the sender as gently as I could and just mentioned that I didn't agree with those
negative emails and didn't want to receive them.
The person who sent them was someone I love dearly. And I began to really fear that I would be rejected . I knew that it didn't make sense. But I remained down until this person contacted me and didn't seem any different.
This is just an example.
I will maybe have "down days" at least every 10 days , the cause being the same.
But I can also feel anger if someone close to me
acts as if they think I am not as smart as they are. Now this is really silly.
But there you are.
But I am off the subject.
The thing is that your method of coping with these down days , Pecos, may work for me.
It sounds like it will.
During those down days, I may eat to console myself.
Monty'smom, I am thinking of you as you struggle thru' these depressed days. They are going to pass. I understand how you are feeling. I hope you feel better soon.
Thanks so much for sharing your method(s). I know how cathartic and healing journaling can be..and how much it can shed that often prayed for bright light into the darkest corners of our being.
Currently, I am experiencing a disturbing journaling avoidance. This has had me paralyzed for weeks now and I've allowed it, telling myself that I just need some processing time. The avoidance came about after a verrrry long entry (1/2 day's and several boxes of Puffs worth) in which I discovered some very real and hard to look at/(face facts) about my depression and my two sons.
Writing is one of my greatest passions and also happens to be one of the most excruciating exercises I have ever known, so NOT journaling is..well..I can only compare it to a sensation of becoming unravelled. I need to get back on the horse and I'm not sure how. Any suggestions?
I was thinking about some simple list making in my gratitude journal and truth be told, even that seems so impossibly overwhelming to me.
So then I was thinking...what other "baby steps" can I make towards beginning to write again? I come up with a complete blank. I know the answer is right in front of me and I'm left with this feeling much akin to one who walks around with a pencil stuck behind her ear looking for something to write WITH. (Doh!)
Gawds, I can only hope ANY of this makes sense.
Help if you can. *LOL*