Does anyone have anxiety even after you stepped up to your nemesis?

Tigerman · Post by **Tigerman** » Fri Sep 26, 2008 11:32 am

I experienced an incident today where I had anticipatory anxiety about going to a certain bookstore in town because the first time I went there I had an attack. It is like my brain makes a mental recognition of the exact places I had anxiety and I fret about it to the point of torture. Even though I was pretty anxious today, I went through with it and felt proud for standing up to one of my nemesis. I would not even be typing this post if it weren't for me having panicky feelings even after I was there for about 10-15 minutes. Lucinda talks about facing your fears in Session 2 and that is what I am doing. Why do I get anxiety even after being in a place for 15 minutes? I thought this anxiety stuff goes away after you face a fearful moment? The scary moment was entering the place and speaking to the first employee at the place. I did all that and felt good for a few minutes then the anxiety returned. This is driving me absolutely crazy. It is so demoralizing.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Sep 26, 2008 11:38 am

It generally takes more than one time of exposure to what you fear before it goes away. Sometimes it takes 150 times! Each time you expose to what you fear you break it down to the point where you feel less and less afraid, until you finally notice no resistance at all.

There is no quick fix. Healing can be painful. I'm not sure why you feel demoralized but that's fine. Feel it. Don't judge it. Don't try to make it go away. Understand that sometimes fear can go away immediately and sometimes, most often, not. Be prepared to do this exposure over and over and over again. Welcome it. Look forward to each time you go. When you do the work like this you can be sure that healing will follow.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:04 pm

I feel demoralized because I faced it and felt good about myself then it returned even after I was in there for a few minutes. I am not seeing a therapist so this course is my therapy. Noone ever told me it would take many times of exposure to totally overcome it. Now I know and will learn to accept it. How do you know this? Where do you get your info from? It is also a little embarrassing to have anxiety over some fo the silliest things like entering a bookstore. Weird thing is it never happened at Barnes and Knobles or Books A Million. It happened at some mom and pop shop that I don't even know the name of.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:05 pm

I think the feedback from Boon was wonderful and so true. It can be expected that you have anxiety when returning to a place of a previous panic attack and it may be there for a while when you return to that place. I still get nervous when going places that I have anxiety, but like you said it is about facing your fears. I hope that you don't give up on facing those fears because it sounds like you have made tremendous progress. Anxiety can be torture some days but as long as we don't let it break our spirits we will only grow stronger. Let me know how things go and don't ever let your anxiety minimize the progess you've made so far. Have a beautiful day
-Allison

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:37 pm

Yes, I do. Especially when it's a situation or place where I'm very uncomfortable. But, I'm so proud of you for taking the leap! You have encouraged me to keep facing situations and keep going to place's one step at a time. I think if you keep up your courage and keep returning to that store and maybe stay a few minutes longer then the last time your anxiety will lesson. Let me know how it goes. From
New Jen