Socially awkward??

karenLeigh · Post by **karenLeigh** » Fri Sep 19, 2008 5:05 pm

Thanks for the advice...and the sense of humor

I will definantly start the writing again. I have slacked on the journaling as well but I know I got to start back.
We have to do it ourselves as hard as it is. I'm glad I've got you guys for support, though

Take-care and God bless

pyxis · Post by **pyxis** » Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:17 pm

I think some people just don't have those sort of social mechanisms more than it's worrying about what people think or psyching ourselves out by "thinking too much". Anything that could be classed as a hint of or possibility of aspergers will do. I think in this case, it's just something that has to be accepted and you can be more picky finding the few good friends out there who are "tolerant" of any social awkwardness from the very beginning.

celeron · Post by **celeron** » Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:06 pm

I can realte to this. I get what I call blank mind syndrome, My mind goes totally blank. If the other person leads the conversation I can get along fine, But if they are quiet we just stand there in an uneasy silence and feel so awkward.

Its almost like somewhere along the line my communication software got deleted, I can chat fine online or even on the phone, but in real life it is a disaster

Crave · Post by **Crave** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:31 am

Great point pyxis - about being more accepting of it. I guess this is yet another aspect of my life which I wish were a bit more perfect, and I was Mr. Personality. Of course I don't have to be! I am what I am, and that's good enough.

Crave · Post by **Crave** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:43 am

celeron - you nailed it on the head. But I wonder if the fact that we obsess on it so much makes it impossible for us to even focus on having a conversation?? I've been told I've had ADHD in the past, so I sometimes wonder if this is really the underlying problem here. Then again, I don't want to get hung up on thinking like this. My biggest problem is that the meds for ADHD really exacerbate the anxiety symptoms, which has always made it a catch-22 for me. Part of me liked to think that the ADHD was just piggy-backing off of the anxiety, and that once I took care of the anxiety, the ADHD would go as well. Not sure that's a fair assessment..

celeron · Post by **celeron** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:13 am

I think the more we worry the worse it gets. I think the key is not to look into it so much, just accept this is the way we are

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:21 am

I was talking to a good friend about social anxiety last night. He's known me almost 20 years. He said. . .no way do you have social anxiety!! You're fine! Well the thing with me is sometimes I have to go off to the bathroom to regroup or have a panic attack.

And, what I do is when I'm nervous I get really chatty and goofy. . . then I go home and replay what I said and have to force myself not to call and apologize or explain what I said.

I don't feel confident but I fake it somewhat well I suppose. . .however I'm always left feeling like everyone thinks I'm weird.

I finally had a different thought last night. I was thinking that my friend might think I'm weird (we were BEST friends and then had a falling out and now she has a new "best" friend who was there and it makes me uneasy. . .I know, immature)

So I'm thinking. . . they must think I'm weird and then I thought "you know what? I was being myself. If that's weird to them then they can just not invite me next time." I'm tired of trying to be what people want me to be.

I am a little different in some ways. I've been called "eccentric" and I guess that's fine. Because that's me and when I don't worry that's how I am. From now on I just need to remind myself of that. I'm OK just how I am.

It made me feel great to think that and I settled down and went off to sleep.

cole2458 · Post by **cole2458** » Sun Sep 21, 2008 9:07 am

hey faith_tx- i totally get what you mean about getting so nervous you can't STOP talking...that happens to me almost as much as the standing awkwardly thing that everyone else is talking about. it feels just as bad or maybe even worse to go home thinking "oh, i shouldn't have said that" or "i should have come up for air/let someone else talk every once and a while" "they must think i'm full of myself", instead of "i should have said...."

i guess we have to keep searching to find some middle ground...

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Sun Sep 21, 2008 9:22 am

Yeah, I have had some people joke . . . it's all about you, right? Then think, yeah they're not kidding. . .I need to learn to shut my mouth for 5 minutes. LOL

SAGE19 · Post by **SAGE19** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 2:14 pm

I can relate sometimes when I get nervous I can be very talkitive, like if there is an awkward silence when Im with a group of friends or socializing with new people. This makes me think that I talk to much, so I tell myself to shut up, when really what Im doing is only trying to get to know the other person. I do have some trouble socializing, but its after Im done socializing adn that I've gone home that I start to analyze every single thing I said and it starts like "oh I should have said this" or "maybe they think Im wierd cause I said this". Celeron has a good point this is what makes us who we are and we have to learn to accept it