Panicking!

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wiskersonkittens
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:15 pm

Post by wiskersonkittens » Tue Sep 23, 2008 12:55 am

It has been quite awhile since I have been down this road. For a little while I thought I was getting better, then some stressors entered my life and I took two step backward. But, I felt I was on top of things . . until now. Since my last period, I have had light headed spells -- it has been going on now for a couple of weeks. I do notice them more when I am thinking about them or worrying about them, obvioulsy. Makes me wonder if I am not causing them by my thoughts. I am in a community play and no doubt I feel anxious every evening when I go to rehersal, fearing that I may pass out in front of everyone. I had a bad dizzy spell around my period at practice and I think that just seeped some subconsious fear in me. I didn't pass out even then. Anyway, I decided to do the "smart" thing and look under web md about light headedness, and true to form, the diagnosis has to be something horrible. I got scared and went to the doctor. Other than the fact my vitals were a little high due to the panic I drove myself to, she checked my lungs, heart, had me follow her finger . . she said everything was working. At this stage in the game, she wants to diagnose my symptoms as those anxiety - related. But, she wanted me to get a CBC, metabolic panel run just to make sure everything is as it should be. Well, oddly, I almost passed out when they stuck the needle in me -- something that never happens to me. So, my mind quickly assumes something deeper is wrong with me. I went to play practice last night and had my usual anxiety, but while I was doing my scenes I felt so much better. Then, I started thinking about things and fell back in a slump. I didn't sleep well last night I guess worrying to no end something awful is going on with me. Yet, I try and tell myself within the last 6 months I have had blood drawn twice in the ER and everything was just fine - could I really go downhill that fast? I even had a CT scan of my head a few months ago and it was all clear (well, my brain did show up! ha!). I just feel so frightened. I have made new friends and have rekindled old ones at my play and I am scared something is awfully wrong with me, that I am dying, and will not get to be with them anymore, adn experience the joy they bring me. I am really losing it! I can't get myself back under control -- all my systems are fighting me and I stand alone. I even developed a bruise near my little toe sometime last night - I don't know how it happened! I am that far gone inside myself where I don't even know what I am doing on the outside. I am just feeling so strange -- not like myself sometimes.
Anyway, I am sorry this is so long. It would have been simpler to just say I am worried about a diagnosis based on waiting for blood work, but I guess more is inside me than I realize. At least on the positive side, I know this isn't a cardiovascular or pulmonary situtation (at least not of the serious). I know it isn't a brain tumor. I can cross those things off my list. I know it isn't lymphoma because she checked my lymph nodes yesterday. Cross that off . .. I do worry about MS (my mother has it, my dad died from it -- but no doctor has felt an urgency to test me for it), cancer, and blood clots. Well . .. I guess I'll know my fate today or tomorrow. I feel like I am going up against a firing squad. I just pray the bullet continues to miss me. Thanks for listening. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this lately . Hugs, Wiskers~

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Post by Guest » Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:41 am

You did the right thing going to your Dr. Reguardless it is always better to be safe than sorry when it seems the symtoms will not go away. I to have days when I feel dizzy but I started watching my breating when this happens and I see that I am breathing very shallow when I start breathing right the dizziness passes and I feel much better. I will keep you in my prayers that your test will come back ok.

kvsdiva
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2004 2:00 am

Post by kvsdiva » Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:57 am

Hi,
I agree with Wendy about getting checked out and also hope they find nothing is wrong medically. So far all tests being negative is a good sign.

It sounds like you have been a very busy lady and that's great!!
Maybe you have spread yourself out a little thin and aren't taking some down time to think about all the info you learned from the program. I wonder if listening to a couple of sessions might be of help right now. Sessions 2 and 3 perhaps. Listen to the relaxation cd and try hard to just clear your mind for even 30 minutes a day, more if you can. I know that helps me ( ALWAYS ) when I'm feeling overwhelmed and or stressed out. Also watch what and when you eat. keep track of when this feeling comes over you each time and think about what may have set it off. Is it what you are doinf, thinking, ate, drank, etc.

I may be way off but it won't hurt you and you may find the answer. I know I can still let myself feel or think wrong if I don't pay close attention to the signs of it starting and once I do I stop and take some deep breaths and a time out if needed still.

Sorry for the novel and WELL WISHES,

Wishing you all the BEST!!

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