Vicious Circle...PLEASE help...

AlyssaInWonderland · Post by **AlyssaInWonderland** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:46 pm

I've been dealing with anger for as long as I can remember... But lately it's gotten worse... I find myself snapping at loved ones and I'm becoming increasingly less able to ignore my impulsive thoughts... The strange thing is, that when I'm NOT angry (which isn't often), I'm tired, depressed, and sometimes even numb (emotionally). This Cycle is interfering with my studies and the general well-being of my family... PLEASE, input anyone?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:07 pm

AlyssainWonderland,

One thing I have learned is how connected anxiety and anger are.

I think some people IMPLODE (internalize their anger) and some people EXPLODE (making their anger visible).

Believe it or not, YOU CAN manage your anger in a productive, healthy way.

Have you worked on the Anger Tape/CD in the program?

When you find yourself snapping... ask yourself why you are angry. When you answer that question, then ask yourself if the reason is worth the anger you are feeling. Being angry is not always wrong, rather the REACTION we choose to make when feeling it.

There is a FREE online book called "You Can Choose To Be Happy: Rise Above" Anxiety, Anger, and Depression" by Tom G. Stevens Phd. There is some really good information on there about anger and how to adjust your emotions like you would a thermostat. Below is the link. Scroll down and you will see the different chapters so you can read online! This was one of my online favorites that helped confirm what I learned through the StressCenter.com. I wish you well !

<A HREF="http://www.csulb.edu/%7Etstevens/hcontent.htm" TARGET=_blank>"You Can Choose to be Happy - rising above anxiety, anger and depression" - FREE ONLINE BOOK</A>

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:17 pm

Dear Alyssa,

Have you talked with your doctor/therapist about all this? Has something in your life changed recently? Did you grow up in a home where anger was the main reaction to Everything (as in mine)?

Anger takes a lot out of us-makes us depressed and tired. Have you don't session 6 yet? How about reading a couple books on anger, ANGER KILLS, or THE DANCE OF ANGER. There is a workbook on the subject-see if your local book store has a copy.

I was angry for sooooo long, I beg you not to waste as much time as I did. Focus on what triggers you and make a different choice...when I understood how over reactive I was, it helped me begin to change my reaction.

Be kind toward yourself, Carolyn

~*schnauzermom*~ · Post by **~*schnauzermom*~** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:26 pm

Thank you sunset...I'll look into that right away... And Carolyn, I stopped seeing my therapist, but I have a doctors appt. next week. I'm just starting out in the program, but I'll pay special attention to session 6...Thank you so much. Right about now though, I'm feeling pretty upset and sad? I guess I'm just getting tired... I should go for a walk...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:23 pm

Hi Everyone, Talking about anger, I had an experience today that scared me. I am doing session 6 on anger and I didn't think that I had much anger at all, but ... today I was shopping and the lady was helping me get my stuff together, etc. (I am an older lady) and she was being very kind actually. I hadn't realized there was a bit of a line-up and then suddenly out of the blue this man appeared and was so rude, directing it to the lady who was serving me, and honesly I had absolutely no control whatsoever. The words were out of my mouth before I could think at all! I was pretty horrified at myself! But it made me realize there definitely is a lot of anger just lurking under the surface and waiting to get out. I wish so much I had re-acted differently but I truly didn't have a second to think, it just all came out of my mouth! Perhaps he was just having a bad day or something, but I didn't give myself a chance to find out. This world seems to be going so fast these days so that when you do have a moment of kindness and understanding, it is horrible to have it disrupted in such a manner. However, I do regret it and wished I had handled it differently. Talk about total lack of control, on his part and on mine! I don't think this has ever happened to me before.
thanks for listening.
Joy