Thanks for the info Paul.
Did any of the symptoms ever occur outside of work? Ive noticed when Im at work my symptoms are worse but even when Im off, I still have some slight pressure (possibly tension headaches) throughout the day. Im wondering if this is because I know I have to go back and am not free from that work environment yet?
Once you left your job, did the symptoms go away assuring you that was the root cause?
Could this be stress related?
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Guest
XL,
my symptoms of anxiety started at work, and seldom (in the beginning followed me home).
in december, it was terrible chest tightness. this only seemed to occur while at work but did follow me home.
in january, the chest tightness left, and that was when i began to experience headaches daily on the rt side of my temple and behind my rt eye. this was only at work. towards the beginning of my panic attacks and severe anxiety, dizziness accompanied the headaches.
the headaches and dizziness only occurred at work. except for the day when i got really panicked from the dizziness (like an awakening of how I felt, or something), the symptoms did not follow me home.
i left my job because of the panic attacks.
i also had several cumulative life events occur at the same time; so work was not exclusively the culprit. looking back, my job definitely was the "engine" that drove the fear into panic- but that is not blaming the job.
i tend to be a perfectionist, and want to do good at whatever i do. this job used that against me, and i found myself working harder and harder to reach a ceiling that never existed. i also tend to be a people pleaser, and never want to be not liked or in any bad grace (especially with a boss), and strove to exceed expectations. this is a bad combination.
furthermore, there was alot of life issues at work concurently with this. i started grad school full-time with wrking full-time in a toxic job, i had recently gotten married, my wife started school to finish her undergrad and was working, i was getting into the education field (which in Buffalo, jobs are few and far between) in an economically challenged area, my job was aggressive and threatened discipline and termination as its general operating principle every day, and my wife began to get the urges to start a family and get settled (house, etc).
Since I was the primary breadwinner, and had to rely on the toxic job to make my wife happy (people pleasing), i felt as though i was on thin ice and could not figure out how to fix the situation.
i soon began to obsess about solutions (which were way too complex to solve on my own), and the fear being pounded into me on a daily basis from my job soon began to dominate my thinking. i began to "what if" everything to the worst case scenario, which eventually led to the physical symptoms, which eventually led to the panic disorder.
i am still recovering, though doing much better these days. my main symptom still lingering tends to be a mental fog/ tiredness/ disorientation that follows me. through alot of work and through this program, i have progressed alot in the past 5-6 months.
looking back, i think that the job provided the environment and fostered the seeds of fear based thinking in me (what if i get fired? what if i am not a 4.0? what if i don't get to all of the calls, or what if someone complains about me? etc, etc, etc...). so, would things have been different without such a toxic environment? i think so.
but again, there were alot of big, life decisions that were all occurring within a short period of time and i did not process them all. one of these events takes time to get used to, and i had...like 5.
my symptoms of anxiety started at work, and seldom (in the beginning followed me home).
in december, it was terrible chest tightness. this only seemed to occur while at work but did follow me home.
in january, the chest tightness left, and that was when i began to experience headaches daily on the rt side of my temple and behind my rt eye. this was only at work. towards the beginning of my panic attacks and severe anxiety, dizziness accompanied the headaches.
the headaches and dizziness only occurred at work. except for the day when i got really panicked from the dizziness (like an awakening of how I felt, or something), the symptoms did not follow me home.
i left my job because of the panic attacks.
i also had several cumulative life events occur at the same time; so work was not exclusively the culprit. looking back, my job definitely was the "engine" that drove the fear into panic- but that is not blaming the job.
i tend to be a perfectionist, and want to do good at whatever i do. this job used that against me, and i found myself working harder and harder to reach a ceiling that never existed. i also tend to be a people pleaser, and never want to be not liked or in any bad grace (especially with a boss), and strove to exceed expectations. this is a bad combination.
furthermore, there was alot of life issues at work concurently with this. i started grad school full-time with wrking full-time in a toxic job, i had recently gotten married, my wife started school to finish her undergrad and was working, i was getting into the education field (which in Buffalo, jobs are few and far between) in an economically challenged area, my job was aggressive and threatened discipline and termination as its general operating principle every day, and my wife began to get the urges to start a family and get settled (house, etc).
Since I was the primary breadwinner, and had to rely on the toxic job to make my wife happy (people pleasing), i felt as though i was on thin ice and could not figure out how to fix the situation.
i soon began to obsess about solutions (which were way too complex to solve on my own), and the fear being pounded into me on a daily basis from my job soon began to dominate my thinking. i began to "what if" everything to the worst case scenario, which eventually led to the physical symptoms, which eventually led to the panic disorder.
i am still recovering, though doing much better these days. my main symptom still lingering tends to be a mental fog/ tiredness/ disorientation that follows me. through alot of work and through this program, i have progressed alot in the past 5-6 months.
looking back, i think that the job provided the environment and fostered the seeds of fear based thinking in me (what if i get fired? what if i am not a 4.0? what if i don't get to all of the calls, or what if someone complains about me? etc, etc, etc...). so, would things have been different without such a toxic environment? i think so.
but again, there were alot of big, life decisions that were all occurring within a short period of time and i did not process them all. one of these events takes time to get used to, and i had...like 5.
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Guest
For myself, even when Im away from work I experience some of the tension headaches and fatigue. Its not quite a intense, but still present.
Also, at my job, there are days that arent as busy and stressful as others. Even on these less stressful days I still feel the symptoms of stress. Again, its not as intense as our super busy hectic days at work but present none the less.
Im wondering if its because in my mind I have grown to dispise it so much that I just cannot stand being there so even when Im away or working on a slower non-hectic day I still am bothered by the symptoms of stress and as the week progresses and gets busier, the symptoms worsen.
Also, at my job, there are days that arent as busy and stressful as others. Even on these less stressful days I still feel the symptoms of stress. Again, its not as intense as our super busy hectic days at work but present none the less.
Im wondering if its because in my mind I have grown to dispise it so much that I just cannot stand being there so even when Im away or working on a slower non-hectic day I still am bothered by the symptoms of stress and as the week progresses and gets busier, the symptoms worsen.
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Guest