I dont even know where to start here... basically my boyfriend and I are having financial problems. I havent worked in almost 4 months, due to my panic disorder, and my boyfriend has been pretty much been supporting me during that time. We have a house, a car, and bills that need to be paid. He has had to go back to school so he can finish his apprenticeship, and hasnt been working in two weeks. I have been feeling a lot better thanks to my medication, and I have been trying to get a job to help with the bills, but I havent been getting any calls back. He came home tonight from school and he was extremely stressed out about money. If we dont pay our Hydro bill, they are going to shut it off. Not to mention we can barely afford to buy groceries. Tonight while he was trying to explain to me how stressed he was, I sort of took on some of it. I feel like its my fault we are broke, and it makes me cry. I feel less motivated to do anything and I feel depressed. I do want to start work as soon as possible, but I dont want to jump into a job that I know ill end up hating. I just feel really helpless right now, and I could really use some support.
Thanks for listeningg..
jadee
Stressed to the max...
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Guest
Hang in there! Try not to take on his stress. It's his - he has a right to it. 
It might help to "pile" the problems into smaller piles - and then attack each separately.
One problem, I heard: food. Look in your yellow pages for Food Banks - or try dailing 211 on the phone. Most communities have a 211 system - phone-based Information & Referral. They (at the food bank or on 211) can also tell you about rental assistance programs. If there's a cost to your boyfriend's schooling, there may even be help with that. Again, teh 211 (or maybe the United Way in your community).
Another problem: Job for you. Don't fret about "taking a job you'll just hate". It sounds like ANY job needs to be achieved right now. And, you'll end up feeling better about yourself and your relationship will be stronger as soon as you get a job. Also - ever heard of setting yourself up for failure? You said there've been no calls -- if you are anxious when you put in the application, it may leave potential employers with bad feeling. Get a job, then work on getting a better one.
Boyfriend Problems: apologize - just ONCE - for your part in the financial stress. Then reassure him that you're taking steps to improve your part: you're on medication, you've been doing this program, you've put in job applications, and you KNOW things will get better. THEN - tell that to yourself, over and over again, until you believe it. (Remember, the first three are already true - and you need only remind yourself of it regularly to start believing in the fourth).
It might help to "pile" the problems into smaller piles - and then attack each separately.
One problem, I heard: food. Look in your yellow pages for Food Banks - or try dailing 211 on the phone. Most communities have a 211 system - phone-based Information & Referral. They (at the food bank or on 211) can also tell you about rental assistance programs. If there's a cost to your boyfriend's schooling, there may even be help with that. Again, teh 211 (or maybe the United Way in your community).
Another problem: Job for you. Don't fret about "taking a job you'll just hate". It sounds like ANY job needs to be achieved right now. And, you'll end up feeling better about yourself and your relationship will be stronger as soon as you get a job. Also - ever heard of setting yourself up for failure? You said there've been no calls -- if you are anxious when you put in the application, it may leave potential employers with bad feeling. Get a job, then work on getting a better one.
Boyfriend Problems: apologize - just ONCE - for your part in the financial stress. Then reassure him that you're taking steps to improve your part: you're on medication, you've been doing this program, you've put in job applications, and you KNOW things will get better. THEN - tell that to yourself, over and over again, until you believe it. (Remember, the first three are already true - and you need only remind yourself of it regularly to start believing in the fourth).
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Guest
jadee,
i hear you.
i had the same thing happen to me back in march of this year, and i do believe that my job was a h-u-g-e factor in creating the environment for my panic attacks.
i had worked with the company for 5 years, and had the benefit of 300 hours of sick time, and a caring doctor who worked with me to prescribe FMLA time for 6 weeks.
back in april and may of this year, i was in no condition to work. anywhere.
gradually, i have built myself up to a level of being able to work again, and just got hired by the county where i now live to be involved in an afterschool program. its a huge change from the horrible place i was working before, and is right along my education interests.
why am i telling you this?
well, first of all you need to know that it does get better. i am proof of that.
second, i am married, and when my wife and i moved back to VA because she could make enough $$ from her old job to support us both while i finished school, i certainly felt pressure to contribute.
and i too did not want to take any job that came my way.
i think that the most important thing to do is not to get overwhelmed right now. your health is THE most important thing. do not look at the whole issue and start "what if-ing" things.
focus on what is within your control right now.
and it's not your fault.
it sounds like Shawna has some really good advice too.
As corny as it sounds, i remember an old T-Shirt that said: "tough times don't last, but tough people do".
you can do this.
i hear you.
i had the same thing happen to me back in march of this year, and i do believe that my job was a h-u-g-e factor in creating the environment for my panic attacks.
i had worked with the company for 5 years, and had the benefit of 300 hours of sick time, and a caring doctor who worked with me to prescribe FMLA time for 6 weeks.
back in april and may of this year, i was in no condition to work. anywhere.
gradually, i have built myself up to a level of being able to work again, and just got hired by the county where i now live to be involved in an afterschool program. its a huge change from the horrible place i was working before, and is right along my education interests.
why am i telling you this?
well, first of all you need to know that it does get better. i am proof of that.
second, i am married, and when my wife and i moved back to VA because she could make enough $$ from her old job to support us both while i finished school, i certainly felt pressure to contribute.
and i too did not want to take any job that came my way.
i think that the most important thing to do is not to get overwhelmed right now. your health is THE most important thing. do not look at the whole issue and start "what if-ing" things.
focus on what is within your control right now.
and it's not your fault.
it sounds like Shawna has some really good advice too.
As corny as it sounds, i remember an old T-Shirt that said: "tough times don't last, but tough people do".
you can do this.
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Guest
thanks a lot guys 
i do feel a lot better today about everything. I had to ask for some help from my family, and although I didnt like to, if i cant ask them for help, who can i ask? I am waiting on a job interview, and hopefully all goes well... of course I am impatient, but im just going to try to enjoy the rest of my days off work, because it is soon going to come to an end Thanks again for the words of encouragement
jadee
i do feel a lot better today about everything. I had to ask for some help from my family, and although I didnt like to, if i cant ask them for help, who can i ask? I am waiting on a job interview, and hopefully all goes well... of course I am impatient, but im just going to try to enjoy the rest of my days off work, because it is soon going to come to an end Thanks again for the words of encouragement jadee
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Guest
Jaydee, I just loved what you quoted -
"When I am anxious it is because I am looking into the future and when I am depressed it is because I am looking back at the past".
It really rung a bell with me, I know I look back at what I used to be able to do way too often instead of thinking of what I can do now.
Thanks for that insight!
Joy
"When I am anxious it is because I am looking into the future and when I am depressed it is because I am looking back at the past".
It really rung a bell with me, I know I look back at what I used to be able to do way too often instead of thinking of what I can do now.
Thanks for that insight!
Joy