I don't believe in myself

jimbobek · Post by **jimbobek** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 7:41 am

I went through this program like 3-4 months ago and things were looking up. Now it's bad again. I'm at a grad school and I'm currently working on a thesis. Every day I tell myself I'm not good enough to write a good dissertation. Every morning a panic attack about the deadline and the fact I still haven't done much. It's very hard to get up from bed. I'm thinking about restarting the program.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:53 am

You're attacking a huge undertaking and having doubt. Which is to be expected! No wonder you're having a tough time. Think smaller than 'I don't believe in myself'. What steps do you need to take to be in a place to be well prepared for a solid dissertation? You've come far and should be congratulated. Don't forget that in your inner dialogue.

And dear gawd, do I know about not being able to get out of bed. But how much more do you regret it when you don't? Always makes me feel 10x worse.

Best of luck.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:32 am

Well, we believe in you.

If you weren't good enough to write a good disertation, you wouldn't have gotten as far as you have gotten in grad school. You haven't gotten this far by accident.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:18 am

Hi jimbobek- We started at the same time in Feb. I went thru the program 3 times in a row. I have had a few setbacks too but after going thru it 3 times now the setbacks are diminishing. I think it's a good idea to go thru it again. After the first go around my anxiety was at an all time low and I was doing great but I was still having some trouble with identifying the secondary gain thing and initiating needed changes. Once I identified some of my problem spots I've seen some really good improvement. I highly recommend going thru it again. OC Mike is right, if you weren't capable you wouldn't have gotten this far.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:27 pm

Believe in yourself! Don't just get through your thesis. I'm sire you picked something you are really passionate about. Take the time to enjoy it and worry less about the timetable. I know that is easier said than done, but there are probably options. What's the worst case scenario that you don't get in done in time? You ask for an extension. Don't think that nobody has ever asked for one before. If this is worrying you know, talk to your advisor about it. Know your options. I had to stay an extra semester in grad school because I couldn't handle working full-time and taking a full-time student class load. I was disappointed that all of my friends finished before me, but I did what was right for me. Definitely break down your thesis into small manageable goals. Are you getting exercise? You need to burn off that anxious energy! Just go for a walk outside! You can do this. You have come this far and can finish. You will be so proud of yourself when you do!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 11:47 am

Thank you guys for the words of support. Sorry for delayed response but last two weeks were very hectic - my girlfriend and I just moved in together and there are a lot of things to do about this. Mary Wargo I remember you from February group! Thanks again. Recently was one of the worst periods of anxiety due to moving in together and things around that. At times I felt like I'm losing my mind. My girlfriend is very specific about things around the house and I'm not - so this creates a lot of tensions. Hopefully it will get better with time. Today I felt some relief from anxiety for the first time since we moved in together. It didn't last long but still I guess I consider this a success.

Celion · Post by **Celion** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 3:08 pm

Maybe the move in and the new situation brought on a temporary set back? This may all calm down once you've adjusted and you'll be back on track. I would still start the program again though. Doesn't hurt to keep it reinforced.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:10 pm

It's much better today. We all (my girlfriend, I and her parents) are in Sonoma for a wedding, so it's good. They're in town and staying with us. This caused a lot of tension in me but I think it's normal that her folks are visiting.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:10 am

hey jimbobek,

i could not help reading your posting and relating as i am currently in grad school as well, finishing up with my education degree.

i can completely relate as this past summer i decided to get some school work done despite dealing with my body's gradual escape from the symptoms of anxiety.

i have not had to do a dissertation, but i have had to complete 50 hours in a classroom environment in a month and boy, was that tough. i had to work so hard to pay attention to my anxiety (;)), i almost succeeded in ridding myself of the darn thing.

seriously, though...i had to come up with a unit plan (which is basically a small book) on top of the volunteer/ school hours...and i did tend to put it off.

now, since procrastination is a part of this anxiety thing...is it possible that things may be later than planned?

if so, that is ok. but i know that i did that to myself this past summer, and only by putting my 'nose to the grindstone' and plotting out a daily goal sheet for accomplishments on the project did i get it done in time.

perhaps breaking your thesis down into achievable, daily goals would help as was suggested by AMy21.

and don't forget to exercise. work like a banshee, then take a 30-45 minute break and go for a run. shower, eat, then get back to it and see how much better/ refreshed that you feel.

also, thinking about how close you are to completing the "BIG" picture is better too. you are almost done.

"You can do it!"