Mornings

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:39 am

What is it with mornings? I used to feel so good in the mornings instead I wake up and than i get a rush of negative thoughts and depression and anxiety. This is when I feel the most depressed. And early afternoon too. But when evening time comes I feel so much better and have a more clear mind and can be more rational but than that all goes to waste when I go to sleep and have to wake up again and feel like crap all over again. Its terrible. Anyone else's depression and anxiety get bad in the morning? I guess morning for me is 10am-noon. This is when I feel so hopeless and sometimes a lot of anxiety.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:56 am

Hi Holly. I recall Dr Fisher talking about this either in the guidebook, or on one of the early CD's, and there's likely a two item reason. The first answer given here in this program is one that I've found to be very true for me: You cannot have a feeling without first having a thought. The second answer is from our Session Five work. Some things we ingest will cause anxiety feelings because of how our body reacts to stimulants. I don't know if that helps you understand these morning blahs better. I've gotten a pretty good handle on mornings by eliminating caffeine and white sugars. And by reminding myself all the Session Three tools for thinking: We feel how we think. We don't first feel and then think. If you feel something uncomfortable, you want to start journaling what it was you just thought.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:30 am

Yeah I usually know what I am thinking of before I feel bad. Its usually that hopeless feeling like this will never go away )-: I am just afraid I'll never stop thinking like this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 8:57 am

Oh, you WILL stop thinking that way. Look at how much time and energy you are willing to invest in changing. Believe in yourself.
Life is hard and this is quite difficult.
But you will stop thinking that way.

Mello Nello · Post by **Mello Nello** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 9:15 am

Keep your head up Holly. I use to have these feelings too. I had a recent relapse, because they just happen, but have been getting through it again.

There is no one answer to any problem, but positive thinking is the best way. I was catching myself in the "what if" thinking again and I was going down that path again.

I took time to just be with myself and try to recall everything I have learned and to push the negative thinking away.

Sometimes my biggest problem is realizing that I am having a good day. This tends to send me down that path because I wonder why I was having a good day.

We are our own worst enemies sometimes!

BKB · Post by **BKB** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 3:46 pm

Oh man so true Engine!!! We are our own worst enemies. I hate that. Thanks for replying pecos and engine. I appreciate it. I talked to my therapist about this today. I am also catching myself not thinking as much and than I get afraid I am going mentally numb and this scares me much much more. )-: why cant i just be content??? Guess I am bored, huh?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:34 pm

Holly,

Do you have a hobby? What are the things you like to do that make you feel passionate and alive?

I have had the same prob in the mornings...and you have the same prob I had...it goes from one thought to the next. If you aren't worrying, you think what is wrong, or as you said, what if I go mentally numb?
You worry about a few things and obsess over them. When you rationalize those and get over those fears, you start focusing your energy on others...basically like a spider web. I did this a lot, as I have told you in other posts.

You are doing so well with all the effort you are putting into this, as pecos said. I think she and I have seen many of your posts.

Here's something that worked for me. You are SO creative, your mind is just swirling all over the place. You need a creative POSITIVE outlet. While you are going through the program and addressing and confronting all these things...you also need something that occupies your mind OFF of this for a time. You see...the more you focus on I have this problem, I have this problem, I have this problem, the easier it is for it to become a PART of you instead of something you are GOING THROUGH. When you focus your creative energy on projects/things you like to do, then the less and less time your mind has to obsess over it. The more time during the day that you spend just living your life, then the less amount of time is on the problem.

That is part of how I overcame it the first time. Same concept with exposure to your fears. The more and more you do one thing you are afraid of...the less you are afraid of it...eventually you do that thing without even worrying about it.

That is how it works to get to a point where you never even contemplate the anxiety in your life at all.
Say you think about it ALL day long at your worst point. Then say a month or two later (after applying the skills you are learning), you go without thinking about it for spurts throughout the day and you are just doing every day things. Then a few months later, you only think about the anxiety and have obsessive thoughts or anxious feelings a few times a day. Then you are so preoccupied with your life and the things you are putting your energy into that you will go a couple days without thinking about it at all. Then you will go a week without it....eventually you become so focused on just living your life that it isn't even a part of it anymore. (Well, you will have normal anxiety and depression as everyone else does in life, but it won't control you.)

I guess what I am trying to say is now that you have a lot of understanding about what's going on with you and the tools to start working on it. Also start incorporating creative projects into your life that start to take up more of your mental energy so that your daily life starts to consist of more time without focusing on the anxiety. Then slowly your days will be filled with living your life and not focusing on the anxiety.

I am not saying to sweep it under the rug, obviously still confront it and do the program and really work on yourself. AT THE SAME TIME, start incorporating little activities into your life that you relate to feeling "normal."

Anyway, I don't know if this post even makes sense...I hope I am getting it out the way I am thinking it!

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:53 pm

Yes it did make a lot of sense. I love your replies. Thank you for reading posts. So even if i feel bad and dont feel like doing anything, still do stuff? I just wish I'd get over this already. Iv never been this bad. I feel so trapped sometimes. And bored too. . Maybe this is why I constantly think??? So i was afraid i was gonna go numb i switched all my thoughts to another scary thought and that thought bothers me a lot too. why cant i just think of something good?? Its so hard for me. whenever i feel good i think about it too much and instantly make myself feel bad again with the though" youre just gonna feel bad again" and than of course feel bad )-: Its like there are two of me. The negative me and the rational positive me. and they are fighting right now. sometimes the positive me wins and lately mostly the negative me wins. ahhhhhh im so frustrated

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 5:12 pm

Do stuff as much as you can. Don't try to be perfect. There will be days when you feel bad and don't do anything, give youself permission to have days where you don't have it all together.
Yeah..the bored thing gets you big time. Do you like scrapbooking, songwriting, drawing, baking things for your friends/neighbors, reading, decorating your house? Think of fun hobbies you like that you can do at home, so if you are having bad days and can't get out, you can put your energy into these. Then have a list of things you like to do out and about....going to the park, browsing at the bookstore, taking a class on a topic you like, volunteer, go to a nursing home to visit people who may not have any family, meeting up with friends (play games or see a movie or anything where you are DOING something you like that will preoccupy your mind.)
Maybe you could set that up as a homework assignment. Every day for 30 minutes I am going to do one of the things on this list, or every other day. Whatever time you can allow...but if you start making fun activities part of your homework, you will start getting lost in living your life more and not so lost in anxiety! You will have more time feeling like the old you...and before you know it, there you are!
I'm rootin' for you girl! I want to see you get better...you remind me so much of me, I KNOW you will get there!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 6:02 pm

((((Frances))))))
Thank you my dear! I really really appreciate the encouraging words. May I ask how long it took you to recover. I know it takes everyone different times. some longer some shorter. .