Panic started 8 months ago. Went right into CBT. Did exposure and all homework...model student. But still left with anxiety and occasional sleep issues...I think because when CBT stopped I stopped. Back on with therapist, refocused and re-energized. Got out of a bad work situation, been really positive at work and home. Felt good progress and was thinking I was seeing the light! Then tonight on the way home I panicked in the car. Not a code red, level 10....but maybe a 5. This is about all I can piece together: it was the weekend, so shift from work to home for the weekend, my two daughters (9 and 11) are away tonight and tomorrow at a horse camp, my 4 year old son had his tonsils out two days ago and is still pretty inactive and grumpy, my wife needed to head out tonight as soon as I got home and will need to work a bit this weekend. This came completely out of the blue but I catastrophized all of it at once....then when the panic came on, I panicked some more over it as I had been feeling so good. Even after it subsided, I've felt charged, paced a lot and lost my appetite for dinner. I got frustrated and bummed but am feeling a bit better now. Some of this still does come back to that I hate the feeling so much that when it starts to come on I go "oh no" which makes it worse rather than start my breathing.
So what should I get from all this? Yes, I know to focus on the progress I was making and not the set back. Yes, I know it was negative thinking, and I realized it was irrational at the time but it just kept coming....how do you stop it from coming? I thought I had beaten that little voice down pretty well and he was yelling over everything I was saying back at him. Then I tried to get my spouse involved I think as a silver bullet but my spouse and I aren't really sure what she should do when I get like this....it scares my spouse which is something I don't want to do...but then I guess that adds to the drama as well.
Advice? Comments? Two cents?
Can I get your two cents?
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Guest
Maybe you need to make sure that your spouse is more educated on how to deal with your panic/anxiety. If she is better informed she will be less likely to freak out and she will recognize that it is just anxiety. If you have Lucinda's program handy maybe you should have your wife listen to the first 2 CDs so she understands your condition a little better.
Hang in there and try to focus on positive things. Start writing down your negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. This really helps me. Good luck.
Hang in there and try to focus on positive things. Start writing down your negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. This really helps me. Good luck.
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Guest
She tries to listen and understand but she doesn't completely understand. And the longer an episode goes for me, the more scared and upset she starts to get. It doesn't happen often that I have a major attack but when I do both she and I seem to fall apart. I am trying to accept....I'm hoping with a better understanding as to how she can help, I can accept better and she can feel more in control when (if!) this happens to me.
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Guest
Irish,
My ex was actually WONDERFUL at dealing with this and I don't know how because he never read up on it or anything.
He would just talk in a very calm voice at all times. When I started getting anxious he would say things like...
No big deal, you're feeling a little anxious.
It's just anxiety. It's going to pass.
He would listen to all my freaked out thoughts and down play them...what he was actually doing was what session 3 talks about. He would replace everything I said with the positive more realistic statement. He didn't show any concern that I was losing it...acted like it was no big deal at all. Sometimes he would even laugh when I would start telling him the thoughts that went through my head. Not in a mean way, but down playing it like: Ha! Babe, that's not going to happen.
If I was really bad he would get me a cool drink of water or get up and start pacing/walking with me and talking to me letting me pour all my scary thoughts out and then just replace them with his positive calm statements. He DID NOT get in a frenzy.
Sometimes when it wasn't really extreme, he would distract me. If distracting didn't work, then that is when he would say, OK, what are you worrying about and then start to look at it head on. Usually this difussed it when I got it all out and he helped counteract each statement. It also helped slow the racing thoughts because instead of them running in your head..you are addressing them one at a time out loud and they are countering it.
Another thing he did was made the scary thought not so scary/crazy. Like if I was having anxiety at a store I would tell him I am afraid I am just going to have to run out of here! He would laugh and say, "okay, let's run out of here, I'll go with you. And then I'll just start screaming at the top of my lungs Mary had a little lamb! Who cares!? I don't care what these people think...it might even be fun, let's do it."
My ex was actually WONDERFUL at dealing with this and I don't know how because he never read up on it or anything.
He would just talk in a very calm voice at all times. When I started getting anxious he would say things like...
No big deal, you're feeling a little anxious.
It's just anxiety. It's going to pass.
He would listen to all my freaked out thoughts and down play them...what he was actually doing was what session 3 talks about. He would replace everything I said with the positive more realistic statement. He didn't show any concern that I was losing it...acted like it was no big deal at all. Sometimes he would even laugh when I would start telling him the thoughts that went through my head. Not in a mean way, but down playing it like: Ha! Babe, that's not going to happen.
If I was really bad he would get me a cool drink of water or get up and start pacing/walking with me and talking to me letting me pour all my scary thoughts out and then just replace them with his positive calm statements. He DID NOT get in a frenzy.
Sometimes when it wasn't really extreme, he would distract me. If distracting didn't work, then that is when he would say, OK, what are you worrying about and then start to look at it head on. Usually this difussed it when I got it all out and he helped counteract each statement. It also helped slow the racing thoughts because instead of them running in your head..you are addressing them one at a time out loud and they are countering it.
Another thing he did was made the scary thought not so scary/crazy. Like if I was having anxiety at a store I would tell him I am afraid I am just going to have to run out of here! He would laugh and say, "okay, let's run out of here, I'll go with you. And then I'll just start screaming at the top of my lungs Mary had a little lamb! Who cares!? I don't care what these people think...it might even be fun, let's do it."
Hey Frances I wish I had friends like your ex! I was always afraid to talk to anyone about my thoughts because even if I did I got the look of.........yikes what's wrong with him-crazy? So holding it in made things so much worse but in a way timing is everything so that's alright. Thanks for sharing, you always have interesting posts/replys and I love to read them, ty 
Last edited by Chief Crazy Horse on Fri Nov 13, 2009 2:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
ATTITUDE -- The mind is like a parachute...it doesn't work unless it's open!!
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Guest
Thanks for the feedback. My spouse tried really hard this time and did do some positive talk back to me....but I felt like I really couldn't shake it. And the longer it went on, the less able she was to stay with it. She can actually be a fairly anxious/worrier herself but it manifests itself in migraines or narcolepsy!....which I admit sometimes I'd prefer if I could choose!
I'm just trying to see it as a small setback on what had been a great week. Off for a 6am run with friends and then try to just treat the weekend as normal. At a quieter time, I will try to dissect better what happened and what I could do differently/better for any next times.
I'm just trying to see it as a small setback on what had been a great week. Off for a 6am run with friends and then try to just treat the weekend as normal. At a quieter time, I will try to dissect better what happened and what I could do differently/better for any next times.
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Guest
You will always haved the stress and drama of all the little issues in life. Its all in how you take them in. And this isn't a set back either. Its okay to get upset about stuff sometimes, especially since you realize where you are at. Its all in trying to think of the positives now, even if you don't want to! Its kind of funny how as time goes on you realize what you secondary gains are! Being anxious and stressed made it so I didn't have to make friends or go to work because I couldn't. I was protecting myself. It sounds like you are doing a great job already!! It only gets better too Level five panic isn't so bad, and you just need to wipe of the dust and move on from this moment. Its amazing when you think, will this matter in a year? Each time it gets a little easier Be proud....
Level five panic isn't so bad, and you just need to wipe of the dust and move on from this moment. Its amazing when you think, will this matter in a year? Each time it gets a little easier Be proud....-
Guest
Irish89,
It's better to see CBT as something you need in your life ALL the time. Not just therapy but a way of life. THINK on TRUTH and then ACT on TRUTH. You will have many times throughout your life when you will feel anxiety. We like to think it comes "out of the blue" but it never truly does. Anxiety is created within your own mind, whether you are aware of your thoughts or not. Many times it is our subconscious that contributes to the anxiety we feel. Journalling helps people get in touch with the subconcsious. Journalling is healthy and many people have incorporated it into their daily lives. It gets everything out and onto paper where you can see it and then challenge it.
I am fully recovered from anxiety, panic and agoraphobia, however, there are times when I am challenged in different situations. You have to see these moments as teaching experiences.
The more you go through them, the more you learn and the better you get. Mastery takes time.
Hang in there and do not be discouraged. Keep up the things you have learned. A psychologist can reinforce what you already know. There is no mystery to be solved that will cure it completely. The truth is, it will last as long as you let it.
It's better to see CBT as something you need in your life ALL the time. Not just therapy but a way of life. THINK on TRUTH and then ACT on TRUTH. You will have many times throughout your life when you will feel anxiety. We like to think it comes "out of the blue" but it never truly does. Anxiety is created within your own mind, whether you are aware of your thoughts or not. Many times it is our subconscious that contributes to the anxiety we feel. Journalling helps people get in touch with the subconcsious. Journalling is healthy and many people have incorporated it into their daily lives. It gets everything out and onto paper where you can see it and then challenge it.
I am fully recovered from anxiety, panic and agoraphobia, however, there are times when I am challenged in different situations. You have to see these moments as teaching experiences.
The more you go through them, the more you learn and the better you get. Mastery takes time.
Hang in there and do not be discouraged. Keep up the things you have learned. A psychologist can reinforce what you already know. There is no mystery to be solved that will cure it completely. The truth is, it will last as long as you let it.
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Guest
Healthy Me: Thanks for giving me permission to not dwell on it! I've tried to do that last night and today and it seems so far to be working out. I am not dwelling on what happened nor trying to berate myself for it happening. And perhaps using the term "setback" was too harsh...it is okay to be upset sometimes about things, part of the reason it happened may simply have been I wasn't giving myself permission to miss my kids!
Sunset: Thank you for your feedback. It was perhaps normal to feel a bit anxious with my girls away and my son still recovering from surgery....I didn't journal it and address it which may have helped. Also, I wasn't giving myself permission to even feel anxious in the situation...in trying to bottle it up, it probably just created more anxiety. Overall, as I said, it was a really good week. In fact, I hadn't had a true panic attack like yesterday in about 4 weeks. My general anxiety has been overall down too. That is why I used the term surprise as I thought I had made some great steps....I realize I had made great steps but every so often with each stride, you on occassion may stub your toe! I am back to work on this as you suggest! Today has so far been no big deal, good nights sleep (6 hours), 6 mile run, hanging out with my son....I feel like an unanxious person this morning!
Sunset: Thank you for your feedback. It was perhaps normal to feel a bit anxious with my girls away and my son still recovering from surgery....I didn't journal it and address it which may have helped. Also, I wasn't giving myself permission to even feel anxious in the situation...in trying to bottle it up, it probably just created more anxiety. Overall, as I said, it was a really good week. In fact, I hadn't had a true panic attack like yesterday in about 4 weeks. My general anxiety has been overall down too. That is why I used the term surprise as I thought I had made some great steps....I realize I had made great steps but every so often with each stride, you on occassion may stub your toe! I am back to work on this as you suggest! Today has so far been no big deal, good nights sleep (6 hours), 6 mile run, hanging out with my son....I feel like an unanxious person this morning!
You have been given such excellent advice by everyone here that I cannot add anything more. Your use of the word catastrophe made me think of a book (I believe everyone who cares about life crisis management using CBT and this program would enjoy).
<A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/ ... renow57-20" TARGET=_blank>http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/ ... ow57-20</A>
<A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/ ... renow57-20" TARGET=_blank>http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/ ... ow57-20</A>
ATTITUDE -- The mind is like a parachute...it doesn't work unless it's open!!