Can someone help????

[GI822]

So I am supposed to start back to work this Wednesday. I am nervous about going back. I work in HR, and I am close with one of the girls that works with me. She told me that my boss told our Vice President that I am agoraphobic. My doctor didn't write that in the information he sent to my office while I've been out on leave. I am agoraphobic in some ways. My work isn't far from my home but I do have anxiety when I'm there. I'm sure she has come to that conclusion because I have mentioned before that I don't like to travel and I have not gone on any business trips.

I just feel weird going back to work even more now because now I feel like everyone in my department is going to think of me as weird. That everyone has come up with their own conclusion as to what is wrong with me. I've been telling people that I know really well from work that I've been starting a new med, and just needed to take time off of work to adjust to it, which is true. I also took off because I was having a lot of anxiety attacks.

I know you are never going to know what people think of you but now in a way I kind of do. My friend from the dept. is moving into a manager position and wants me to apply to be her assistant. I'd rather work for her because she is my friend and understands my problems and is very supportive. I just don't know if my VP will want us to work together because we are friends. I'm sure my current manager will be relieved to have someone else so she doesn't have to worry about me leaving again.

I'm just so confused and worried. I don't know what to do. It's hard enough to go back to work after being off for so long and now I have to worry about what people are thinking of me. It's so much pressure. Can anyone offer any advice?

[Guest]

It is time to take care of yourself and not wonder what others think of you. You have taken a big step just starting this program. You felt you needed the time off work and thats OK! Start looking at yourself and do what is best for you. Every one has there opinions so be it.
Are you in an exercise program ? I feel better now that I go to the gym and do cardio and exercise machines. Find projects to do to keep you buzy even if you have to force yourself.I to haveproblems dealing with work. None of us are alone with this.Keep focus on the program and you will get results.

[Guest]

Hi GI822, of course you feel stressed and anxious about this, who wouldn't? One thing you can put out of your mind (easier said than done I know) is the idea that everyone is talking about you and ready to gasp as you re-enter. People have lots of things to worry about and talk about and I guarantee they are not fixating on you. You're psyching yourself out and distracting yourself (quite effectively) using obsessive thoughts which are taking away from the real issue at hand- getting back into the swing of your work. It really doesn't matter who said what about you being agoraphobic to whom; this is all second hand information from a single person and is of little consequence. I've been in and out of work with panic disorder, anxiety, panic attacks in front of peopleat work, and yes agoraphobia, plus have had some "work" done (went from A to D) and I'm sure people talk about these things from time to time, but who really cares. There is always some hot topic, just look at the news, it is fickle. Even if you are in the spotlight by these people at your job- which I doubt you are- it won't last long. Gather your courage and confidence and go for it. Use the tools from week 3 (negative and positive dialogue) and the tools from week _ (obsessive thinking) and feel confident that you are there to do your job and that you are going to do it well. Think about and write down things you like about working and the reasons you are returning to work. YOU get to choose if and how you let off hand remarks affect you. Good luck and go for it! Post again and let us know how you are doing