Hello all.
CG, I moved away from the confines of home at 25 (I am now 33) where I lived in Buffalo, NY, all the way out to Los Angeles, CA.
Like pecos, I never did anything so big before, and it was something that I always told myself that I wanted to do. I was way excited.
Questions: would you be living close to home, or moving across the country like me? would you be pursuing other goals at the same time (school, etc)? If needed, would you family allow you back if, worse came to worse, you were not ready or something?
If you are closer to home, why can't your friends/family visit you and vice versa? And if you get a cool apartment/home, you might meet a whole new group of friends.
But don't think that I am blowing you off or making this an easy decision...as I think, like Lucinda, that INDEPENDENCE was such a big factor in my life and such a stressor (how will I take care of myself? pay the rent? eat? What if i fail, etc, etc, etc), that only now, 8 years AFTER having moved from home and working on this program can I say I am coming to terms with these questions.
And let me tell you, I made tons of mistakes along the way.
I'm SO CONFUSED!!! HELP!
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Guest
I would be moving from Detroit MI, to Maryland. I would move in with my cousin, I would continue my schooling there, since my school is there, Id jsut transfer. My family here(mi) can always come visit and so can my friends. The door will always be open for me if I need to come home. there is nothing holding me back but mind gripping anxiety and fear(and Im so sad to leave my mom)
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Guest
and if your family would take you back (most likely), than that takes some of the fear out of it and kinda gives you a parachute.
Now, some may disagree with that idea and state that it's time to leave home, etc. But you know, I say to you that every one develops on their own, and at their own pace and speed. If you want something, go get it!! If you are not ready, then be honest with yourself and don't allow others (friends, family) to pressure you into doing something that you are not ready for.
Society itself can be cruel with the whole "leaving the nest" thing. I sometimes feel that a young woman such as yourself may have it somewhat easier with this- but that could just be the 'old-fashioned' man as provider/ breadwinner/ "me tarzan, you Jane" thing that I deal with to this day.
Do what YOU want.
I will finish this with a story about birds.
Once upon a time a Robin gave birth to a baby. She fed the baby bird with the freshest of worms, and best bugs she could find. She provided it a warm nest, and protected her baby from wind and rain.
One day, when the baby had grown, mother returned to the nest. The young bird noticed something different about mother though, as her demeanor seemed to have changed. The young bird's worst fears were realized when mother began to push and nudge the child out of the nest.
"Squawk!!" the young bird protested, gripping to twigs of the nest and branches of the tree in a desperate attempt at survival.
But mother bird was persistent, and she pushed young bird to the end of the branch.
"Mother, why me?!!? How could you do this to me?!!" the young bird screamed in panic.
Mother pushed, and baby fell.
The young robin fell, and fell for what seemed like an eternity. But then something stranged happened. By simply sticking out her wings, the young robin stopped falling.
No, it was more than just stopping the fall, the young robin soon realized that she was controlling- albeit clumsily- herself.
She realized that she was flying.
After she had made it softly to the ground and was unharmed, young Robin decided to have a talk with mother about why pushed her out of the nest.
So, she mustered her strength and flew up to the nest to see her mother.
"Mother, how could you do this to me? How could you push me off of the ledge without concern for me?"
Mother stood by patiently, allowing her daughter to vent. When the time was right, the mother robin asked her daughter "Were you hurt?" Her daughter responded, "no...but I was terrified".
Mother sighed, but lovingly explained "daughter I love you with all of my heart. Had you not been given incentive, you may never have learned to fly. Though you may not understand it now, it is oftentimes when we are backed against a wall or our lives are on the line that we truly see what we are made of.
And as you can see, you are a Robin."
"And you now fly so beautifully".
So, CG, I hope that this long winded story of mine was not dorky, but I hope that it helps you. Though no one may be pushing you out of the 'nest' but yourself, if it IS what YOU want, then take the plunge.
No expectations.
Find what you are made of! And fly! See just how high that you can soar!
Now, some may disagree with that idea and state that it's time to leave home, etc. But you know, I say to you that every one develops on their own, and at their own pace and speed. If you want something, go get it!! If you are not ready, then be honest with yourself and don't allow others (friends, family) to pressure you into doing something that you are not ready for.
Society itself can be cruel with the whole "leaving the nest" thing. I sometimes feel that a young woman such as yourself may have it somewhat easier with this- but that could just be the 'old-fashioned' man as provider/ breadwinner/ "me tarzan, you Jane" thing that I deal with to this day.
Do what YOU want.
I will finish this with a story about birds.
Once upon a time a Robin gave birth to a baby. She fed the baby bird with the freshest of worms, and best bugs she could find. She provided it a warm nest, and protected her baby from wind and rain.
One day, when the baby had grown, mother returned to the nest. The young bird noticed something different about mother though, as her demeanor seemed to have changed. The young bird's worst fears were realized when mother began to push and nudge the child out of the nest.
"Squawk!!" the young bird protested, gripping to twigs of the nest and branches of the tree in a desperate attempt at survival.
But mother bird was persistent, and she pushed young bird to the end of the branch.
"Mother, why me?!!? How could you do this to me?!!" the young bird screamed in panic.
Mother pushed, and baby fell.
The young robin fell, and fell for what seemed like an eternity. But then something stranged happened. By simply sticking out her wings, the young robin stopped falling.
No, it was more than just stopping the fall, the young robin soon realized that she was controlling- albeit clumsily- herself.
She realized that she was flying.
After she had made it softly to the ground and was unharmed, young Robin decided to have a talk with mother about why pushed her out of the nest.
So, she mustered her strength and flew up to the nest to see her mother.
"Mother, how could you do this to me? How could you push me off of the ledge without concern for me?"
Mother stood by patiently, allowing her daughter to vent. When the time was right, the mother robin asked her daughter "Were you hurt?" Her daughter responded, "no...but I was terrified".
Mother sighed, but lovingly explained "daughter I love you with all of my heart. Had you not been given incentive, you may never have learned to fly. Though you may not understand it now, it is oftentimes when we are backed against a wall or our lives are on the line that we truly see what we are made of.
And as you can see, you are a Robin."
"And you now fly so beautifully".
So, CG, I hope that this long winded story of mine was not dorky, but I hope that it helps you. Though no one may be pushing you out of the 'nest' but yourself, if it IS what YOU want, then take the plunge.
No expectations.
Find what you are made of! And fly! See just how high that you can soar!
-
Guest
CG, do what is best for you.
I left home at 25 in 1999. My Mom had passed away that year, my sister had gotten married and moved to NC 6 months later, and I graduated college and realized that it was time for me to do something that I had always wanted to do: move to CA.
I left my Dad by himself.
That still bothers me to this day. Was I too hasty in my departure? Could I, should I have stayed to comfort him (and me) longer?
Who is to say?
I have since talked to my dad about this and he did not have any of the emotional hang-ups that I had/have, and discussing it brought me peace.
One thing to remember: friends will come and go in life, but family is forever. Your mother will still be your mother whether you live in Omaha, Anchorage, Okinawa, or Los Angeles.
I may have missed this, but have you discussed your feelings with your mom? You might be surprised to find your mother being completely supportive of your decision (as was my father), and you can save yourself the 'baggage' of unnecessary worry and anxiety.
Be free.
I left home at 25 in 1999. My Mom had passed away that year, my sister had gotten married and moved to NC 6 months later, and I graduated college and realized that it was time for me to do something that I had always wanted to do: move to CA.
I left my Dad by himself.
That still bothers me to this day. Was I too hasty in my departure? Could I, should I have stayed to comfort him (and me) longer?
Who is to say?
I have since talked to my dad about this and he did not have any of the emotional hang-ups that I had/have, and discussing it brought me peace.
One thing to remember: friends will come and go in life, but family is forever. Your mother will still be your mother whether you live in Omaha, Anchorage, Okinawa, or Los Angeles.
I may have missed this, but have you discussed your feelings with your mom? You might be surprised to find your mother being completely supportive of your decision (as was my father), and you can save yourself the 'baggage' of unnecessary worry and anxiety.
Be free.
-
Guest
CG,
Have you visited your cousin recently?
If no, it might be really helpful to do just that for a weekend-week (assuming, ofcourse that this is all cool with cuz).
This might take some of the edge off for you, and maybe even let you come into touch with your true feelings as you will be out of your familiar confines.
Have you visited your cousin recently?
If no, it might be really helpful to do just that for a weekend-week (assuming, ofcourse that this is all cool with cuz).
This might take some of the edge off for you, and maybe even let you come into touch with your true feelings as you will be out of your familiar confines.
-
Guest
GREAT story Paul!!
And yes, I just got back from my cousins last week! I go alll the time, 2-3 times a year since I was a baby! it really is my second home. So I dont think it will be as bad as I think! Im just scared to "jump out of the nest"
I know I am strong, but I want to be stronger. I was tested up against my strength over a year ago and it was amazing! I felt great, thats what im hoping for from the move.
And yes, I just got back from my cousins last week! I go alll the time, 2-3 times a year since I was a baby! it really is my second home. So I dont think it will be as bad as I think! Im just scared to "jump out of the nest"
I know I am strong, but I want to be stronger. I was tested up against my strength over a year ago and it was amazing! I felt great, thats what im hoping for from the move.