depersonalization/derealization

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Sat Aug 09, 2008 10:01 am

This was a biggie for me. Johnny, I could have written your post. The first time I experienced this was last year after I started taking Celexa. I had never experienced this until I started taking this SSRI. Now I am off SSRI's and will never go back on them but that feeling of unreality (DP/DR) still haunt me. "Constant battle within" is right, Hiram. I always feel like I am in war with myself. I hate it. Those feelings were so scary. I'd get them a lot with strange lighting. The first time I got it I was sitting on a bench waiting for my bf nd his mom to come out of a pet store. It was night time and I saw this couple walking a dog and as I was watching them I literally felt like I was watching a movie. It was odd. I immediately panicked. My boyfriend walked out and I tried explaining it to him but he didn't understand and basically blew me off. I remember geeting it while watching a band play and it started when i was watching the lights flash. I was so scared I walked out so fast. Now Im like ok I know what this is it totally sucks but I;'ll just have to deal with it and try not to be scared. When I have it even sometimes walking I feel floaty. I get this a lot right before or even during my period. But I used to get it all the time an time! This feeling and mind chatter make me feel like i am going crazy. But look how many people have this. I hope we can all learn to cope with this terrible feeling. .

jmm84 · Post by **jmm84** » Sat Aug 09, 2008 10:01 am

I've been having issues with this stuff too. When my anxiety comes, I guess I say it comes in waves that last for months...or even close to a year. That's what it did at first. Then it was completely gone, like it disappeared for close to a year. And now it's back. It's been back for some months now. These weird feelings of not being yourself are awful. My mind will start blaming my feelings on everything around me. Like you guys say, you start analyzing everything. Then...at least for me, it's like I think I'm on to something in my life. I'm not. It's just that I try so hard to find an answer. But I don't think there is one. Except that this symptom is part of the condition and nothing more. So I try to stop searching and searching for an answer, because that's all it is. A symptom. Nothing more. Even though my mind wants me to think it's something more.

BBBLLLLLLLLAAAAA!!! We will get there people!!! Hang in there everyone. We'll get there.

want relief · Post by **want relief** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:38 am

hello I have been feeling like this for a week I started taking paxil and during the 3rd week this happen to me and i since have stop the medicine because of this feeling it is really scarey do anyone feel like this all day

want relief · Post by **want relief** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:42 am

Originally posted by Hiram:
MartaD, I'm terrified of antidepressants and I'm over-read on neurotransmitter deficiencies, SSRIs, amino acid supplementation, foods that improve or influence serotonin production, etc. I'm a pretty healthy 38yr old male. I exercise daily, eat well, but I shoulder a lot of stress. I think I hit my breaking point (so-to-speak) late last year and here I am. I've improved from months earlier, but this "who am I", feeling of being detached from reality is extremely unsettling. I'm sure many can relate to the outside world not detecting anything wrong with you, while you're in this constant battle within. I'm going to remain optimistic, but I won't rule-out the medication if it get's totally unbearable. Have you taken medication? If so, what and how were you on them?

Labourg, I have the DP Manual. It is an interesting read and I've found it to be helpful. There are a couple of tidbits in there that I hadn't come across before so that alone was worth it. Thanks for the suggestion.

want relief · Post by **want relief** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:48 am

Hey I have been feeling like this for about 3 weeks now this is scary any help to overcome

Originally posted by Hiram:
This has been a topic of interest for about 3months now. I've experienced it off and on since about March. Now I know what it is and I'm trying to accept it, but my anxiety keeps me considering other illnesses like BPD. I've been experiencing stress and anxiety at this level for the better part of a year now. As a result (I think) I'm starting to wonder who I am. I don't feel like my self and it is scary. Anyway, I'm on Session 2 of the program and I hope it will provide me some relief.

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 10:10 am

I can relate. I have even had times where I feel light headed like I'll pass out, along with the feeling like I don't know where I am, etc.

I have had times where I sort of space out and miss an exit or get turned around too.

I have actually read that this symptom comes from the endorphins in our bodies. It's part of the flight or fight and our bodies and minds trying to protect us from danger.

If you can accept that and not fear it, it will not last as long. If you just tell yourself. "ooh, there's that funky floating feeling again. . .guess I'm stressed. I need to do some relaxation techniques and it will go away."

That tends to work for me. If not, then I just try to ignore it. I've had days at work where I felt like that all day long and yet I was still able to get whatever I needed to done. My concentration is effected a bit, but I'm able to at least do most of what I need to do. The more I focus on it the longer it lasts.

Sort of like anxiety in general, I suppose.

I also have the fear at times that I'm "going crazy" and in my calmer moments I have to laugh at myself. . . I'm not crazy! If you were really crazy you would probably not think you were, if that makes sense. Crazy people do crazy things and think they're normal. . .LOL We do normal things and think we're crazy!

Hiram · Post by **Hiram** » Mon Aug 11, 2008 5:50 pm

Faith_TX: "Crazy people do crazy things and think they're normal. . .LOL We do normal things and think we're crazy!"

That quote made my day! Thanks!!

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:13 pm

haha that was great Faith. I like that quote too!!! Thats so me haha. We share a lot of anxiety symptoms. I always think I am going crazy. . or dying.. which is worst? For me I think going crazy is. . but when I think I am dying, than thats is worse. lol

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:16 am

I liked that too after I typed it. hehe

I haven't had the "think I'm dying" yet. . .mine has always been "think I'm crazy" although actually I did have one time my heart was going bonkers and I wondered if I needed a doctor. It doesn't help matters that my mother has a heart condition that made her go into fibrulation (sp?) and had to have her heart shocked to make it normal. But heck, she's 65 years old. I should have another 20 years at least before that happens

jinul1m64 · Post by **jinul1m64** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:05 pm

wow i didn't realize that my topic would be such a hot spot. it certainly does suck that we all have to go through this. i alleviate some of the intensity of the symptoms by recognizing them as just symptoms of anxiety. i try not to be scared of them but it's very hard...and i'm pretty sure all of you can relate. i had a few questions for you guys though...the derealization/depersonalization for me has been VERY intense. where ever i go...i cannot feel the same experiences/memories that i once felt before the panic. it seems like everything is so alien to me...people, places, etc. it's almost as if i feel like i'm living in a different dimension than most people. even right now...me being in my house feels very surreal to me for some odd reason. i don't get the same feelings that familiar places once gave me. these symptoms scare the living hell out of me. it's as if i really screwed up my brain and now i can't seem to fix it. can anyone relate?