HI: I AM A 63 OLD WIDOW AND I LIVE ALONE. I DON"T CARE FOR IT. I FEEL MUCH IF SOMEONE IS HERE ALL THE TIME. MY KIDS ARE 20 MINUTES FROM HERE BUT I ONLY SEE THEM ABOUT ONCE A WEEK. WORK SCHEDULES DON'T AGREE.
THIS BIG OLD HOUSE GETS TO ME. THAT IS WHY I AM IN THIS PROGRAM. I WORRY SLOT. N O ONE KNOWS I AM IN THIS PROGRAM. SOME DAYS ARE WORSE THAN OTHERS. TODAY IS A BAD DAY.
I AM NOT DOING AS WEKK AS I SHOULD ONTHE PROGRAM. MY OWN FAULT. WORK AND OTHER THINGS KEEP ME BUSY. BUT IT IS WHEN I HAVE TO COME INTO THIS OLD HOUSE BY MYSELF I START GERTTING NEVOUS.
HANG IN THERE - I AM. IT IS NIICE TO TALK TO SONEONE WHO IS GOING THROUGH SOME OF THE SAME PROBLEMS.
I HAVE BEEN ALONE KNOW FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS, BUT THE PROBEMS DID NOY START UN TILL THIS PAST FALL CAME HOME FROMWORK ONE DAY TO FIND MY ROOF LEAKING AGAIN.
THEN THAT N IGHT MY SMOKE DECTORS STARTED GOING OFF AND I COULD NOT STOP THEM. ENDED UP CALLING THE FIRE DEPATMENT TO COME AND CHECK THINGNS OUT. COME TO FIND OUT THE BATTERIES I HAD RECENTLY BOUGHT WERE BAD.
SINCE THEN I HAVE BEEN A NERVOUS WRECK ABOUT BEING ALONE.
HAD A VER BAD NIGHT AND AM VERY SORE AND TENSE TENSE TODAY.
IMISS HAVEING SOMEONE AROUND TO TALK TO AND KEEP ME COMPANY.
I AM WAYBEHIND ONWHERE I SHOULD BE IN THE PRGRAM. I LIKE O TAKE TIME AND GO THRUGH EACH LESSSON A FEW TIMES
I ALSO FIND IT HARD TO SIT DOWN AND DO THE PROGRAM. SOMETHING I NEED TO OVERCOME.
I DON'T GET ON LINE AS MUCH AS I SHOULD. GET BUSY
TAKE CARE KIMMY AND ALL WILL BE WELL.
Fear of being alone
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Guest
i think i can sort of relate. Within these past few months i've developed a fear of being by myself, too. I have to have someone around me constantly. The second i'm alone I get so depressed and I start crying and my obsessive bad thoughts come. When I'm alone i feel like my whole life is empty and i have nothing. I don't know what has started this or how to make it go away, but i know it really sucks 
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rose_thorn98
- Posts: 173
- Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 6:26 pm
Thank you for all the wonderful words of encouragement. I have no idea where to go from here. The program does not seem to be helping and my obsessing over my health is a full time job by it's self. I have to get comfortable with myself and rely on mysself only. I have no idea if this will ever end for me I am beyond panic. any advice?
~The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Martin Luther King, Jr~
Martin Luther King, Jr~
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Guest
Hi Kimmy-n:
I don't have any advice but I can make a suggestion which you could think about. You say: (quote: I have to get comfortable with myself and rely on myself ONLY".)
That might just be part of the problem. Relying on yourself only. I would suggest that
you consider trying to find a higher power. A power greater than yourself. Choose something or SOMEONE (GOD , as you understand God) And begin talking to Him.
Talk about your fear and your loneliness. It works.
My husband died in Jan. of 1985. 23 years ago.
My children were all grown up and had their own lives.. Oh yes I got very lonely. I have lived alone every since. Two of my chldren live in other states and the one in my State lives over 2 hours away. I see him on average about once a year.We call each other every week or so.
I had to turn these things over to my higher power. To litterly let go of it all and place it in his hands.
Then I had to ACCEPT my situation. Acceptance is the key to contentment. This didn't come about overnight. But with the help of my Higher Power , I just took one day at a time.
Oh yes, it took time and faith.
I am kind of shy and didn't like trying to meet people. I was in my mid-fifties when hubby died.
There used to be a site on the internet called
penpal.com. I got on there and got some penpals. There are other lonely people and I like to write. So I have pen pals that I've been writing to for over 6 years. I made friends in my neighborhood with other widows.
This took time also.
After a few years of being alone, I remembered that I love novels. Losing one's self in a good book helps.
Yes I had, have, anxiety and depression. But I've learned to go out and eat in a restuarant by myself. I mostly just stop for a hamburger here and there.
And then I found this program. I ordered it in Jan. 07. It has helped me. And I found this forum. I read on here everyday and I have learned that I am not alone. I read the posts on here and find that there are other people who understand me. They know what its like.
I feel like most are my friends. I'm beginning to recognize dif ones and know somethig about them.
Keep posting and reading on here.
You won't be so alone for long.
The program is wonderful. I learned right off soon after I received it that my anxiety attacks weren't dangerous. They wouldn't really hurt me. So I lost lots of fear of them.
Acceptance of your position in life goes a long way.
I wish you peace.
MJ
I don't have any advice but I can make a suggestion which you could think about. You say: (quote: I have to get comfortable with myself and rely on myself ONLY".)
That might just be part of the problem. Relying on yourself only. I would suggest that
you consider trying to find a higher power. A power greater than yourself. Choose something or SOMEONE (GOD , as you understand God) And begin talking to Him.
Talk about your fear and your loneliness. It works.
My husband died in Jan. of 1985. 23 years ago.
My children were all grown up and had their own lives.. Oh yes I got very lonely. I have lived alone every since. Two of my chldren live in other states and the one in my State lives over 2 hours away. I see him on average about once a year.We call each other every week or so.
I had to turn these things over to my higher power. To litterly let go of it all and place it in his hands.
Then I had to ACCEPT my situation. Acceptance is the key to contentment. This didn't come about overnight. But with the help of my Higher Power , I just took one day at a time.
Oh yes, it took time and faith.
I am kind of shy and didn't like trying to meet people. I was in my mid-fifties when hubby died.
There used to be a site on the internet called
penpal.com. I got on there and got some penpals. There are other lonely people and I like to write. So I have pen pals that I've been writing to for over 6 years. I made friends in my neighborhood with other widows.
This took time also.
After a few years of being alone, I remembered that I love novels. Losing one's self in a good book helps.
Yes I had, have, anxiety and depression. But I've learned to go out and eat in a restuarant by myself. I mostly just stop for a hamburger here and there.
And then I found this program. I ordered it in Jan. 07. It has helped me. And I found this forum. I read on here everyday and I have learned that I am not alone. I read the posts on here and find that there are other people who understand me. They know what its like.
I feel like most are my friends. I'm beginning to recognize dif ones and know somethig about them.
Keep posting and reading on here.
You won't be so alone for long.
The program is wonderful. I learned right off soon after I received it that my anxiety attacks weren't dangerous. They wouldn't really hurt me. So I lost lots of fear of them.
Acceptance of your position in life goes a long way.
I wish you peace.
MJ
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Guest
I definitely know about fear of being alone. When my kids decided to go away for school. I locked myself in my room for 3 months and only went out to use the restroom, go to work, or get something to eat. It was soooooooo scary. I know someone would break in since they probably knew I was alone. It took me about 4 months to come around. I finally got over it by praying and having faith God would protect me. It still gets a little scary at times. I try to stay busy on the outside until I am tired then I come home. Living with someone for 30+ years you get real use to someone always around. Good luck and I send a pray out for you. Everything will be ok and soon you will love your freedom like me. I love it now. You can walk around the house naked and don't have to always get dress just to run to the restroom or get a cup of water. It’s lovely. Once you get over the fear, you will see the blessing. It’s just you and God against the world. Peace and remember it gets better every day. Take little steps and you will be able to run soon.
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chellebelle
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 8:36 pm
Every bodies post in this forum is incredibly moving, especially Lenore. Your words are POWERFUL!
kimmy-n, you will pull through, you just need to hang in there and never give in. If others have fully recovered, so can you. By quiting the programme, or not following it correctly, you are only allowing your fears to get the better of you.
Personally I have never had a fear of being alone, even after I had my first and only panic attack and constant anxiety accompanied by fearful body symptoms, which left me bed bound for 1 month and very confused, I still managed to be alone and accept my anxiety condition and concentrated on getting myself better.
Remember the more you practice on being co-dependent on everyone, the more your fear will intensify, which is what keeps you in this cycle. The more you practice and learn to accept being by yourself, gradually the better you will feel and be less depressed.
I am know 90% recovered, and back to running my business and getting on with life. I still have a few hurdles to overcome, but I will succeed and push through to 100& because I believe I will - as their is to much at stake to lose.
Lenore is right, I to never knew I had a PROBLEM, and accepted all my flaws (bad habits), which were the result of years of continuous practice. I assumed this was the way I was and just accepted it. My experience with anxiety, depression and having the Panic Attack, made me appreciate the true value of looking after the human mind and a MUST requirement attitude to having a positive outlook on life, regardless of the circumstances, as suppose to letting negativity rule your life.
I wish you all the best.
kimmy-n, you will pull through, you just need to hang in there and never give in. If others have fully recovered, so can you. By quiting the programme, or not following it correctly, you are only allowing your fears to get the better of you.
Personally I have never had a fear of being alone, even after I had my first and only panic attack and constant anxiety accompanied by fearful body symptoms, which left me bed bound for 1 month and very confused, I still managed to be alone and accept my anxiety condition and concentrated on getting myself better.
Remember the more you practice on being co-dependent on everyone, the more your fear will intensify, which is what keeps you in this cycle. The more you practice and learn to accept being by yourself, gradually the better you will feel and be less depressed.
I am know 90% recovered, and back to running my business and getting on with life. I still have a few hurdles to overcome, but I will succeed and push through to 100& because I believe I will - as their is to much at stake to lose.
Lenore is right, I to never knew I had a PROBLEM, and accepted all my flaws (bad habits), which were the result of years of continuous practice. I assumed this was the way I was and just accepted it. My experience with anxiety, depression and having the Panic Attack, made me appreciate the true value of looking after the human mind and a MUST requirement attitude to having a positive outlook on life, regardless of the circumstances, as suppose to letting negativity rule your life.
I wish you all the best.