No lie but this really happened

hopehound · Post by **hopehound** » Wed Jul 30, 2008 7:43 pm

These are funny- we should have this as a regular forum post. The phone lines in my area went down and at the same time cell phone reception went out. When I was finally able to contact AT&T they wanted to know why I hadn't phoned them sooner????? (on what?)

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:38 am

Uncle Sam sent me to Germany in 1981 to play Army. I had a chance to use one of those new fangled microwave ovens. No one told me I had to take the wrapper off the hamburger so I got treated to a little spark show.

The first time ny mom tried to bake a potato in one of them new micerwave ovens, it turned the potato into a black mess which I dubbed The
Moon Rock.

Teri, don't worry. These are coming back to me slowly also.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:06 am

A coworker of mine had M&M's on her desk for the 4th of July. They were the holiday colors red, white and blue. I asked my co worker why they had 3's printed on them instead of 4's for the 4th. After a pause, she turned the 3 downwards to an M. Made alot more sense that way

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:46 am

My dog had a broken hip and was on medication. I went to the kitchen to get his pill, and poured myself a glass of water while I was there. I was looking at something out the window and before I knew what I was doing I took his medication. I freaked. My mom called the vet and he said “She should be fine. Call me back if she develops an urge to chase cars.” I have never seen my Mom laugh so much in her life.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:01 pm

Did you feel the urge to run outside and play fetch and get scratched behind the ears?
That was the funny thing I heard in a while- THANKS!

BFG · Post by **BFG** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:27 am

One saturday my kids and I were off to a birthday party. Gifts in hand and all party dressed up we knock on the door. The Mom opens the door, looks at us funny and says "the party is tommorow". OOPPPPS

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 6:12 am

My mom asked me to make lemonade-the frozen kind you add water to, which I had never made before. The carton said add 4 1/3 containers of water to the mixture, so I did. I filled the container 1/3 of the way up four times...instead of four full times plus 1/3 once. That was some SOUR lemonade!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:47 am

Ohhhh, these are FUNNY!

One time in my early twenties after a very good night out with my friends, I woke up, of course hung over. I half asleep stumbled into the bathroom to brush my teeth and hop in the shower for work. For get lights at that point

...Like I said, I just rolled out of bed and was hung over. The little night light was enough for my burning eyes. I hap hazzardly felt around in the bathroom cabinet and grabbed my tooth brush (had the little nubbie on the end), squirted some paste on my brush and started to scrub. YAK YAK YAK, EWWWWWW! My father put the friggin BEN GAY next to our tooth brushes!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 9:10 am

One I was playing a cassette tape in the van for my son on my way to work and daycare. The tape got stuck inside the front-loading player so I stuck my finger in there to wiggle it loose. Or so I thought - instead my finger got stuck inside the tape player...in the dash of my van! I was driving down the road envisioning myself having to stop at a gas station and blow the horn until someone could come out with WD40 or something to free me. After about 15 minutes - I was ready to gnaw my own finger off to save me from that embarrassment, but I kept spitting on my free hand and wiping that around the stuck finger and finally it can out...swollen, red, and sratched up, but I was not electrocuted nor was I a "Guess what I did at work today, Rob..." story around a poker table either!

SIGH!

Dawn

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 1:07 pm

Funny stuff in here! Thanks, I needed that!

Reminds me of a time my Grandmother way dying her hair. She always used a strawberry blonde color and did it at home herself. One day she was coloring her hair and she looked up in the mirror while it was processing and she thought it looked awful dark. So, she waited the proper time thinking it was ok because she bought the strawberry blonde dye she always got. Once she rinsed it out, her hair was black! Somebody at the store or the factory but black dye in the wrong box! My Grandma laughed so hard, she was very jovial, so she just wore her hair black for 3 months.