I have tons of tools to use from this program and other sources, but I get so angry about feeling anxiety and frustrated that it seems to be getting in the way of full recovery. I hate feeling that way and feel disappointed in myself for not handling them better. I've had the program for over a year, but believe my subconscious is holding on tight to the lie that there's "something wrong with me" and then I jump into the same dumb hole as soon as a bit of anxiety comes my way. It's the same hole every time, so that's good, but that frustration is really getting in the way and I'm having trouble being kind to myself.
Suggestions to get past this wall? I know I can and will, but where's the secret door?
KDLady
I'm so mad!
Hello!I know how you feel.It's the same for me.I do believe with my whole heart that the secret is don't give up!The other thing is whenever you feel the anxiety just keep telling yourself that sure it's uncomfortable but you know what it is you've been in that hole I'm sure a ton of times as well as me.We can't focus on how we're still feeling.We have to look at the progress that we've made and continue moving forward no matter how frustrating or how hard it gets!Freedom from this bondage is just around the corner!Believe this!The only thing that keeps us in that hole is ourselves!We let all those feelings control us!We have to say "NO MORE!Enough is enough!!"We're strong,we're capable,and we have to trust and believe in ourselves!Really dig deep and believe.You might say something like this"This fear is no longer going to control me I am in control now.I may feel the anxiety but it is no longer going to hold me down!"I hope this helps you.I really do no how you feel.I do know though that the only way to complete recovery is not letting those negative scary thoughts and feelings take control over us!Take care and dig in and push through you can do this!!
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves...
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be? --Unknown
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[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/loveyouguysWave.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/ValHeartsSmiHug.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/SigTags/LynneCocoaMo-1-1.jpg[/IMG]
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves...
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be? --Unknown
*****************************************
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/loveyouguysWave.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/ValHeartsSmiHug.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/SigTags/LynneCocoaMo-1-1.jpg[/IMG]
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Guest
KD, the best answer I can give is "PUSH THROUGH". It's not easy believe me. fear not gave good advice. Right now I'm struggling with depression. I did stay in bed a little longer this morning and it felt good. I felt like I'd like to stay there all day but I forced myself to get up and get something healthy in my body. After talking to my mom I really felt more depression but instead I chose to come on here and found your post. The best thing about this site is to know we either are struggling together or once did. Even when you get compltete victory from the program, I guess there's no such thing as complete victory because we'll always have "growth spurts" some would say setbacks but they're not. We're learning and growing every day. Love yourself. You are worth it! We're all in this together so hang in there girl. Keep posting. It helps to get things off your chest. Walk by faith and not feelings which is what I must do today.
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Guest
KDlady,
I know how you feel. I went through the program and totally recovered. It does work. I bought the program for a second time because I recently had some episodes due to stressful life events over the last year that finally boiled over. I know this program works...it sounds like it has also helped you but you are hitting this wall.
It sounds like you haven't accepted the fact that it's okay that you have this problem. That it doesn't mean your crazy, weak, weird or whatever else you think. A lot of people go through this, I did as well. The trick is ACCEPTANCE. You have to begin to accept yourself having this and accept it being there. Tell yourself that regularly. Look at all the positive traits that come with our personality type that others don't have, look for positive changes/things that this has brought into your life. (I know that sounds crazy, but they are there.) CELEBRATE the fact that you are a little "quirky." Begin to see how the anxiety has been your "friend" by seeing all the positive things it has done for you, the things it has taught you about yourself and others, there is a purpose it in...what is that purpose in your life? Try looking at it as though you are GLAD you have had this experience in your life because of these positive things. God works all things together for the good for those who love him. (He doesn't GIVE us these problems or "punish" us, we actually give this problem to ourself...however, He will work it for the good.)
Having the episodes again after being fully recovered for several years, that was my first response as well. To get angry at it. I am not afraid that I can't recover, since I have already done it once...but I didn't and don't want to have to go through all the work and feelings all over again to get there.
If you haven't noticed the underlying thread with other issues you have overcome...it is ACCEPTING them and just letting them be what they are. Then they slowly start to go away.
Ask yourself what does this say about you because you have this? What did you answer? Does it make you feel bad about yourself or less of a person in some way?
You have to get to the bottom of why you can't accept that you have this and attack those thoughts/feelings or what you think they mean about you. If you can accept the fact that you may have anxiety off and on and that it doesn't say anything bad about you..then you won't feel the pressure and the need for control that you HAVE to get rid of this. When you are no longer afraid of the underlying thoughts and what they mean, you will no longer deal with the wall.
You have to give yourself permission. Treat yourself like your own child...I know this sounds like a lot of psychobabble...
But seriously, take off all the expectations of what you think you should be like, your life should be like etc. Love yourself the way you are. Would you think any less of your own child if they had this problem? Of course not, so don't think less of yourself because you can't "beat it"/get rid of it/control it. These very analytical and creative abilities you have are an ASSET. They can become a stumbling block when not channeled correctly, that's all.
You might try reading "Embracing the Fear:Learning to Manage Anxiety & Panic Attacks" by Judith Bemis & Amr Barrada. I think this book might help you with the particular issue you are having.
I know how you feel. I went through the program and totally recovered. It does work. I bought the program for a second time because I recently had some episodes due to stressful life events over the last year that finally boiled over. I know this program works...it sounds like it has also helped you but you are hitting this wall.
It sounds like you haven't accepted the fact that it's okay that you have this problem. That it doesn't mean your crazy, weak, weird or whatever else you think. A lot of people go through this, I did as well. The trick is ACCEPTANCE. You have to begin to accept yourself having this and accept it being there. Tell yourself that regularly. Look at all the positive traits that come with our personality type that others don't have, look for positive changes/things that this has brought into your life. (I know that sounds crazy, but they are there.) CELEBRATE the fact that you are a little "quirky." Begin to see how the anxiety has been your "friend" by seeing all the positive things it has done for you, the things it has taught you about yourself and others, there is a purpose it in...what is that purpose in your life? Try looking at it as though you are GLAD you have had this experience in your life because of these positive things. God works all things together for the good for those who love him. (He doesn't GIVE us these problems or "punish" us, we actually give this problem to ourself...however, He will work it for the good.)
Having the episodes again after being fully recovered for several years, that was my first response as well. To get angry at it. I am not afraid that I can't recover, since I have already done it once...but I didn't and don't want to have to go through all the work and feelings all over again to get there.
If you haven't noticed the underlying thread with other issues you have overcome...it is ACCEPTING them and just letting them be what they are. Then they slowly start to go away.
Ask yourself what does this say about you because you have this? What did you answer? Does it make you feel bad about yourself or less of a person in some way?
You have to get to the bottom of why you can't accept that you have this and attack those thoughts/feelings or what you think they mean about you. If you can accept the fact that you may have anxiety off and on and that it doesn't say anything bad about you..then you won't feel the pressure and the need for control that you HAVE to get rid of this. When you are no longer afraid of the underlying thoughts and what they mean, you will no longer deal with the wall.
You have to give yourself permission. Treat yourself like your own child...I know this sounds like a lot of psychobabble...
But seriously, take off all the expectations of what you think you should be like, your life should be like etc. Love yourself the way you are. Would you think any less of your own child if they had this problem? Of course not, so don't think less of yourself because you can't "beat it"/get rid of it/control it. These very analytical and creative abilities you have are an ASSET. They can become a stumbling block when not channeled correctly, that's all.
You might try reading "Embracing the Fear:Learning to Manage Anxiety & Panic Attacks" by Judith Bemis & Amr Barrada. I think this book might help you with the particular issue you are having.
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Guest
You hit the nail on the head. It is acceptance that I really struggle with and when I'm in the midst of the icky feelings, my first response is something ugly like, "how am I supposed to accept these nasty feelings? I don't want to feel like this, etc."
However, the deep issue is still the same: acceptance. I'll keep wiggling around it and "get it". I know God wants me to do that and all of this mess is teaching me something to grow more like how He desires.
Thanks for the support.
The two previous responses are great, too. It IS all about moving forward and keeping at it. Thanks so much for your thoughts.
Hope by responding to me, it'll keep things in perspective for all of you today.
Blessings, KDLady
However, the deep issue is still the same: acceptance. I'll keep wiggling around it and "get it". I know God wants me to do that and all of this mess is teaching me something to grow more like how He desires.
Thanks for the support.
The two previous responses are great, too. It IS all about moving forward and keeping at it. Thanks so much for your thoughts.
Hope by responding to me, it'll keep things in perspective for all of you today.
Blessings, KDLady
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Guest