Someone please help

lateralus_jenn · Post by **lateralus_jenn** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 8:37 am

So, I've had panic/anxiety disorder for about 3 years now, and I thought perhaps I would make progress in dealing with it, but It seems as though it's just progressed into Obsessive thinking or Obsessive compulsive disorder. I read the thread where everyone was sharing the experiences with the "violent scary" thoughts, because I've been going through that recently and it's been Terrible, I had some of the worst anxiety attacks, and now I've become depressed. I felt that these thoughts were intrusive and so opposite to how I felt that I must be schizophrenic or crazy, being the Hypocondriach that I am I thought anything I did or maybe something that happened in the past maybe made me schizophrenic. I don't hear voices or anything, but my problem today was I woke up this morning after my alarm went off and of course I hit snooze, but i sort of drifted into a half sleep and had a mini dream, but what woke me up was a noise, I thought it was a voice for a second but thinking about it now that I'm obviously fully awake, it sounded more like my landlord upstairs moving a chair or something along the floor. This all probably sounds ridiculous but I freaked and wondered if I was a schizo, I just want some reassurance, Someone told me once that Schizophrenics don't usually realize they have a problem they need help realizing they do from an outside source. I just need reassurance, I'm getting anxious again and panicky, and the depression from the scary thoughts doesnt help either. please some help me!! I need some rationality!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:00 am

Jenn
Please know that you are not alone. Know too that you are not crazy nor schizophrenic. Do you have the program? If not, I would certainly invest in it. I too have had these terrible intrusive, obsessive thoughts. So troubling and I just couldn't be rid of them. I had panic/anxiety 24/7, and was not functioning well at all. I felt I was in a living hell.
This program is the best thing I have done for my family and I. I am a firm believer in it and reccommend it highly. I have changed from that time 100%. I have so very much to be thankful for, do to this program and ofcourse God. Don't hesitate to get the program and please give it your all. You will not regret it a day. I am living proof you can do this. It is just anxiety and you will be ok. Anxiety is a temporary condition and you can conquer this.
You are feeding your mind with scarey negative thoughts and this is what the program teaches us to change. This program gives you the skills needed to face life in a better more productive way. I really believe it is just anxiety and thru this wonderful program you will be just fine. It takes time hard work and committment.
But I know you can do this. I know in the days to come you will find that peace and contentment you are looking for. Remember I have been there too and I am happy now. You will be too. Hang in there and never give up.
Your Friend
Angla

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:22 am

The program has the answers, you just need to practice the skills. ALL the time!
It does help.
You will learn to allow whatevrthoughts to just float in and float out. They cannot hurt you, they are just THOUGHTS!
I suffered with OST's (Obsessive Scary Thoughts) for three years and I am recovering from them as we speak.
You just need to allow them in and they will go away. When you fight them, by asking WHY am I having this thought?, or by askign someone else, Why do you think I am having this thought?, thenyou begin that cycle of doubt where you need reassurance from outside sources.
You can get that reassurance from yourself. It may take time and TONS of practice and you may even feel like "AHHH! I've tried for so long why won't it go away!"
I actually had that fleeting thought today.( I am staying at home by myself this week without my boyfriend or even my parents because they are out of town too and I was fearing,"what if I did something crazy when they were gone and no one was here?" now mind you I haven't had that thought in a LONG time.)
But, you know I may feel anxious but I can get through this because I have all the skills I need..
You will too... Just get the program and see what we are talking about!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:37 am

lateralus_jenn,
I'm sorry you are feeling so scared and not in control. I will give you my idea of maybe what happened with that noise you heard. One of my symptoms has been loud noises making me jump. Now when I say loud, it doesn't have to be much more loud than normal. A chair moved across a floor, or even my husband saying something when I don't know he's at the top of the stairs, can make me jump! A really loud noise like something falling can literally make me run! I am 75% better than I was with panic and anxiety, but this symptom has not improved. Also you were half asleep which would not help at all.

My psychologist says just about everyone is obsessive about something. It is one of our symptoms when we are anxious. We want to know what to expect so we obsess over how things are done, thinking we can control things. I always felt sort of out of control never knowing what would happen next.

The anxiety and panic can make you think weird thoughts, and obsessive thoughts. I don't know if you are taking the course or not, but one of the ways to control this is to be aware of your thoughts. Watch your thoughts. When you get a scary or obsessive thought, immediately say to yourself "switch gears". Think about something totally different, do something different. If you are watching TV get up and clean the kitchen counter, or scrub a toilet! I know it sounds weird but it helped me immensely and still does. It is covered in Lesson 2 or 3 I think. It stopped 90% of my panic attacks right away.

Another thing which helped me was to just deal with what is going on this minute. Don't think about the past or the future. Frankly the only thing you have control over is this very minute. you can't control the future or change the past so concentrate on making this very minute the best you can. The more you practice this the better you will get at it.

If you need someone to talk to....PM me if you wish.
Blessings,
Jackie

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:19 am

thank you so much for all your replies, the scary thoughts started not that long ago, and when it first started happening I would cry and feel like I had to scream, I would sit on the couch just tuned out from everything except my head, I'd look at my boyfriend and my stomach would just wrench up because I thought to myself how could such thoughts ever enter my mind, I love him with all my heart, he is the most understanding sweet guy (He knows about my anxiety disorder and I have told him about the thoughts and he's very understanding and patient) It made me feel even more depressed and scared. I'm a very big hypocondriach as well, If I try to self diagnose it doesnt really benefit me at all. I thought because of the intrusiveness of the thoughts I was schizophrenic, so I made the mistake of looking up what the symptoms are and I don't really have any of them, but if I remember what one of them later on in the day, I'll wonder If I'm doing something like it etc. etc. Or for instance, sometime a word will pop into my head and I can't stop repeating it a few times over, I got it in my head that, that must be schizophrenic. It really freaks me out, I don't want to be a schizo or lose control, ugh. But this is encouraging it very encouraging to know there are people who know what im talking about. Has anyone dealt with the worry of being Schizophrenic, you try to convince yourself that you are or your losing it?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:32 pm

lateralus_jenn, I can totally relate to your post. I've never had "intrusive scary thoughts" until I started the program??? For some reason, when I started to get the anxiety under control, I started getting those annoying, yet sometimes frightening thoughts that I had NEVER experienced before. I am also dealing with awful depression now. I think what happens is that once we can get the anxiety dealt with, we deal with the underlying problem which is mainly depression(My own opinion anyway)_ Although I don't have the intense physical symptoms of anxiety(in my case), the "thought" of having anxiety is still there, which is something we made "habit". if that makes sense?? This I believe will take awhile to reprogram(positive affirmation, getting "out of my head" and into more daily physical stuff) just plain forgetting about the anxiety) However, I am coping and that makes it more bearable...I KNOW that the depression, and OST's(obsessive scary thoughts) are all due to anxiety and thus making it less scary. One of the most common "fears" of anxiety is the "fear" of becoming schizophrenic or some other "mental illness" in my words..."going crazy". As I began to read more posts, I realized that this is something all of us deal with therefore making it easier for me to cope with those "thoughts". I know I'm rambling now..lol.. I hope it makes sense?? I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and you ARE NOT GOING TO GO CRAZY!!! take it one day at a time and float through each phase of it. IT WILL get better, and soon will be writing on the "truimph" forum.
Good luck to you and God bless you
Robin

Cajun · Post by **Cajun** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:41 pm

Oh, and to answer your last question on your last post, YES! I have gone through the "fear" of becoming "Schizo" for many of years. My mother is "paranoid/Schizophrenic" so....yes, I fear becoming like her! I've had panic, anxiety, depression since the age of 15 and still to this day, I haven't gone off the deep end, so to speak

Just the "fear" of going "crazy" keeps me from going crazy. People that have these horrible ailments DO NOT KNOW they are ill, they think everyone else is. I know this first hand! Anxiety will play on your worst fears. Thus, the "OST's" We are natural "worriers". Do as the program says, write down your thoughts, worries, etc. as you go back and reflect on them, you will begin to see just how much you worry. That is when you will begin to see how much of it is actually do to negative thinking, poor self talk, etc. Trust me, I've been there, done that. I hope this helps, I know by reading other posts, it helped me tremendously!!!
again, take care and God bless
Robin

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:27 pm

Hi! Boy can I relate! I, too, have feared that I had something worse than my anxiety and depression disorders...something like schizophrenia. Before I started taking Cymbalta, I was hearing sirens, especially in the middle of the night. It was very distressing to me. I asked my psychiatrist and therapist about this, and they both said that I was probably very, very sensitive to external stimuli. I could hear any noise, like the hum of the refrigerator, and it would turn into a police siren. Hypervigilance and hypersensitivity have been key symptoms of my anxiety and OCD. Thankfully, the medicine is helping a lot, and I don't hear these things any longer. Isn't is interesting how our brains trick us into thinking that we have something far worse than what we actually have??? I am learning to be amazed at the power of my mind and am learning how to harness it in a more positive and productive way. I wish you a lot of luck with the program.

Genie

calmseeker · Post by **calmseeker** » Sun Jul 20, 2008 12:54 pm

If you have problems with this issue, please read this post in its entirety.

Schizophrenics don't think that their own minds are the cause of the problem, they think that the problem lies elsewhere. They tend to believe, for example, that other people are reading their minds, controlling their thoughts, moving their bodies, and so on. When they hear voices, they don't worry that the voices prove that they have a mental illness. If you ask them, they will say they have no mental illness, that the voices they are hearing are coming from the outside, produced by an external person or object that is perpetrating against them.

So the fact that you are worried about being a schizophrenic means that you aren't one. Period. End of story.

As for the anxious thoughts themselves, it will help if you stop trying to control them so much. Just let your mind create whatever thoughts it wants to create. They are just thoughts. No big deal.

Read this article:

<A HREF="http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/%7Ewegner/seed.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/%7Ewegner/seed.htm</A>

Here is the lesson to learn: Control is the problem, not the solution. This applies to thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, basically everything that spontaneously happens inside of our minds.

When we try to tightly supervise and control what spontaneously emerges in our minds, we get whatever it is that we are trying not to get. This is a well documented principle in the field of experimental psychology.

Naturally, then, when we try to control and manipulate the anxious chatter that our minds often produce, things get messy. The chatter becomes more central, more of a threat, more of a concern, more of a big deal. The mind becomes obsessed with it. And so it happens more often. The more we try to engage with it and make it go away, the more entangled, lost, and caught up in it we get.

But when we allow our minds to chatter away, and just look at the chatter as a harmless internal process, not as a reality that we need to fear or fence off or fight with or disprove, the mind calms down, and the problem dissolves away.

So, next time you're mind tells you that you have schizophrenia, try this:

Your Mind: "You have schizophrenia, you are going crazy."

You: "Right... I have schizophrenia, I'm going crazy. You've told me this about 1,000 times now. I heard you the first time. Now, can I please get back to what I was doing? Thanks."