Stress Center Peer Support

Renon · Post by **Renon** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:26 am

I just finished a series of uni-lateral ECT last week that has left me feeling indifferent about caring for myself and for others around me, including 2 young children. I am experiencing short memory loss, although this has improved somewhat over the last few days. I am no longer suicidal, but the depression lingers. I don't want to continue the ECT unless absolutely necessary, but I want a higher quality of life than this. Any suggestions?

-Renon

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 11:03 am

Hi Renon,
I have some understanding about what you are talking about here. I've never had ECT, but have had friends who were RN's and one MD who had ECT many years ago. You know there is a period of time where you are going to be functioning through what seems to be a thick fog, and it will gradually clear. I am so glad you are in this program. My own depression began creeping into my life about three years ago. It got worse with each new crisis. I took over taking care of my father, who had widely metastasized cancer, and my mother (an RN) who had end stage cardiac failure. To put icing on the cake, my relationship with my boyfriend went south, too. Then my father died, and nine months later, my mother died. Life looked bleaker to me every morning. Funny thing is, I bought this program for my boyfriend, and he didn't want to use it. I opened up the box, slipped in the intro CD, and it has helped me more than anything I ever came across as a therapist during a 30+ year career. It works. I will begin Session Five Sunday. You are welcome to email me anytime, and I am very happy to know you. Pecos

Chief Crazy Horse · Post by **Chief Crazy Horse** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 1:07 pm

I am not a big fan of ECT if it's what I think it is (electric shock theropy? or something like that). I had a high school classmate committ suicide after taking treatments of that. I guess no one knew what he was going through (mental pain and anguish x a million?) and though he was so bad off he did this as a last resort....hmmmm made his memory worse and what ever else was going on worse (depression...). Well I suggest this program, and this forum, and the chat room. Every day do something with this program and do it with us. Don't mean to scare you BUT I do mean for you to know the possible risks....

Maria Angie · Post by **Maria Angie** » Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:39 pm

I have gone through ECT 3 separate times. I still battle depression and anxiety. But for the moment it took it away, along with some of my memory. There are holes in my memory now, but I did get better for a while. I have prayed to God that I never have to go through that again. Right now I am not on medication and still trying to work through and wondering if it will ever go away totally, and I am beginning to think not.

Anyway I function (go to work) and live my life to the best of my ability, but still wish I could live life to the fullest.

I wish you the best Renon. Let me know how it goes.

Renon · Post by **Renon** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:48 am

ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) is one of the last forms of therapy used for depression due to the memory loss and other side effects. I am gradually returning to my old self 12 days post ECT but have some definite gaps in my memory. I am concerned about returning to work as an RN, having trouble thinking clearly most times as well as keeping up to speed with the fast pace required in nursing. Also, the last few days have left me more depressed than I have been since before ECT treatments. Will I need to have them repeated as some do?

fischee · Post by **fischee** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 3:52 am

Hi Renon,
I know little to nothing of this therapy but just wanted to tell you that I completely empathize with your situation, and we're all here to support you. As for follow up treatments, trust YOUR own instincts; what does your body tell you? Despite what the medical community says (and I'm sure you know this) everyone reacts differently to procedures- what helps one, may worsen symptoms in another. Even though ECT is "safer" than what it used to be, overall has it helped or hindered YOU? It may take awhile for you to be able to truly answer that.

I'm glad that you posted again, you said that you're feeling like your "old self"- is this for the better? (couldn't quite tell) Do your colleagues know about your situation? I would hope that if they do, they would understand and help you out as much as possible. Since you've managed to continue working (pre-ECT) during your depression, you're clearly intelligent, capable, and good at your job (DON'T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL DIFFERENTLY!!!). Again, this counts for something and your colleagues need to recognize it. EVERYONE has challenges in her/his life- those worth keeping in your life are compassionate. The others.... well, they're idiots- (HA!) and frankly, I feel that eventually they, too, will encounter tough times that will knock them off their sanctimonious pedistals.

Please keep in touch. You're in my prayers,
fischee

Chief Crazy Horse · Post by **Chief Crazy Horse** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:36 pm

Renon, no matter what you do be it Rn or something else, or taking a break or leave from being an Rn you can make it! People change jobs and careers all the time sometimes even from medical problems, so I believe in you no matter what you do or where you go. tc

Don57 · Post by **Don57** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 4:13 pm

Hi renon,

I was wondering why your doctor wanted to do ECT on you? Do you have or believe you have a physiological/biological depression or is the depression related to how you think? Is the purpose of ECT to kickstart the brain into producing more neurotransmitters to help with depression AND erase painful memories?

Do you feel your depression comes more from what you think about or is it more just out of the blue? The answer to that question may be of help in deciding what type of therapy to pursue.