I have had a great relationship with a guy for the past year - but today when I got anxious and said I needed to go home, he just got quiet and let me go. I asked him to come watch the video on how to support someone going through anxiety and panic attacks, and he declined. I think he doesn't understand anxiety and is upset that the small amount of time we have together is "wasted" by my problems.
He is a very strong, stable person, and I don't know if I'll ever be as strong and balanced as he is. I feel I have improved dramatically since starting this program, but it may always be something I have to really fight.
Why do I feel that he should know that I want him to just hold me, not offer solutions, but just hold me and tell me it will all be ok? The anxiety will pass, I know this, but at what damage to our relationship?
How can I expect someone else to always do the right thing, have unyielding support, never be the weak one - I would crack under this kind of pressure. Why do I feel hurt? Why does he give me the impression that "I need to get my act together".
I KNOW THAT I'M NOT HAPPY WHEN I FEEL THIS WAY - the fact that these feelings come no matter how much I fight them is extremely frustrating, and I don't need someone to remind me of that.
Anxiety is hard enough to deal with within my own head, let alone dealing with others lack of understanding or condescending attitude.
How can I keep this relationship strong...so I don't overreact and ruin a good thing?
He's been so good for me and more supportive than anyone in my life. Just today this lack of doing exactly what I wanted...Why do I expect others to be perfect?
When I am most in need, is when my love backs off
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fightback76
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2008 11:59 pm
PS
I also recently saw in the news an NHL player who appeared in support of people with mental illness, as his sister had suffered for years. He is trying to remove some of the stigma...
No one seems able to support their family or friends when suffering from anxiety, they will often shun you or leave you to "calm down" on your own...but if you broke your leg you would have everyone and their dog visiting you at the hospital.
For me, the physical problems are not the ones I truly need support to get through. How do we remove stigma of issues like anxiety and mental illness so people can get more support, during the hard times. The more we support each other, the more our friends and families should be able to try and understand.
I feel when I'm having a panic attack or severe anxiety I have to isolate myself so as not to damage the relationship...which in itself damages the relationship, as it means I do not trust my partner to see the real me. And I do not want to place a burden on my partner...
Please don't kick us when we are down by turning away and leaving us to our own hell...
Help us get out of that phase - and back to living.
I also recently saw in the news an NHL player who appeared in support of people with mental illness, as his sister had suffered for years. He is trying to remove some of the stigma...
No one seems able to support their family or friends when suffering from anxiety, they will often shun you or leave you to "calm down" on your own...but if you broke your leg you would have everyone and their dog visiting you at the hospital.
For me, the physical problems are not the ones I truly need support to get through. How do we remove stigma of issues like anxiety and mental illness so people can get more support, during the hard times. The more we support each other, the more our friends and families should be able to try and understand.
I feel when I'm having a panic attack or severe anxiety I have to isolate myself so as not to damage the relationship...which in itself damages the relationship, as it means I do not trust my partner to see the real me. And I do not want to place a burden on my partner...
Please don't kick us when we are down by turning away and leaving us to our own hell...
Help us get out of that phase - and back to living.
I know what you're going through with your partner. Ive been with a wonderful girl for almost four years and my anxiety is really taking a toll on our relationship right now. She was supportive the first time I had anxiety problems, two years into our relationship.
Right now a lot of things are changing for her and I, and my anxiety is a contributing complication. I feel the very same way about her, she is strong, stable, and more blanced than I feel I ever could be right now. Yet I know I have been in the past, and I try to remember that.
Anxiety, as the program states, is very, very difficult for family members to understand. Its scary and my girl, if she wasnt as great of a person as she is, would have left me a long time ago. She's seen it all, the panic attacks, the crying, the insomnia, yet she has stayed and held me. She's held me knowing that there's nothing else she can do than be supportive, like the program said, we've got to find the solutions ourself (with help of course).
Remember why you are with him, and do your best to keep that separate from the anxiety. I know thats hard to do, its hard to have a normal relationship. I assure you he is just scared, as any family member would be. He'll be supportive, but remember the anxiety is ultimately your battle.
Right now a lot of things are changing for her and I, and my anxiety is a contributing complication. I feel the very same way about her, she is strong, stable, and more blanced than I feel I ever could be right now. Yet I know I have been in the past, and I try to remember that.
Anxiety, as the program states, is very, very difficult for family members to understand. Its scary and my girl, if she wasnt as great of a person as she is, would have left me a long time ago. She's seen it all, the panic attacks, the crying, the insomnia, yet she has stayed and held me. She's held me knowing that there's nothing else she can do than be supportive, like the program said, we've got to find the solutions ourself (with help of course).
Remember why you are with him, and do your best to keep that separate from the anxiety. I know thats hard to do, its hard to have a normal relationship. I assure you he is just scared, as any family member would be. He'll be supportive, but remember the anxiety is ultimately your battle.