totally depressed and scared!!
Holly, i am going through the same thing as you the past 2 days. I get the crazy thoughts of harming my children (i love them dearly and never would) and then when those thoughts were so overwelming i thought maybe i should just die because this is driving me crazy! I couldn't sleep the past 2 nights and have missed work too. I want to just feel good and happy and embrace life to the fullest and i is sooo hard right now for some reason!!! I am having a reception this weekend and going on a honeymoon the following weekend and i want this to go away so i can enjoy myself!!! I actuallt read that white chesnut (i don't know if if its an oil or pill) gets rid of negative intrusive thougths. Anyway just know ur not alone!!!
-
Guest
Hi Teasha,Originally posted by teasha:
Holly, i am going through the same thing as you the past 2 days. I get the crazy thoughts of harming my children (i love them dearly and never would) and then when those thoughts were so overwelming i thought maybe i should just die because this is driving me crazy! I couldn't sleep the past 2 nights and have missed work too. I want to just feel good and happy and embrace life to the fullest and i is sooo hard right now for some reason!!! I am having a reception this weekend and going on a honeymoon the following weekend and i want this to go away so i can enjoy myself!!! I actuallt read that white chesnut (i don't know if if its an oil or pill) gets rid of negative intrusive thougths. Anyway just know ur not alone!!!
I just wanted to let you know that I go through the same thoughts as you about the harming aspect. I am here to help you if you ever need help. I have gotten 90% better and I may have some good tips for you
-
Guest
Thanks Mel! If u have any tips on how to get over this i would love to hear from u! I was fine for so long and then after i had the baby i started to drink here and there and i feel so guilty everytime i do and it spikes the negative thoughts and i feel crazy! I am going to try and not drink anymore and it will be hard due to our reception and honeymoon coming up!! ya know? Anyhoo, please write back asap. Sincerely Teasha
-
Guest
-
Guest
Holly I can relate to what you were saying about the scary thoughts coming out of nowhere and then obessing over them knowing you would never hurt yourself. I know in my case, these types of thoughts were scary and seemed uncontrolable. I really thought there was something wrong w/me and that i was going to end locked up somewhere with the keys thrown away.
I had always known that I had anxiety disorder. It took awhile for me to acknowlegde that I also had some underlying depression as well. I was working with a coach who helped me to begin to recognize that it was there. Once I acknowledged it was there then I was able to move forward. It was my depression and anxious thinking that lead me to many of those I wish I was dead rather than having to deal with daily/multiple panic attacks. Even though, those type of thoughts resulted in greater anxiety and fear.
My coach explained to me that these scary thoughts were just that thoughts. Knowing that they caused me anxiety was an inidcation that I would never act on them. People who receive comfort/pleasure from these sick/scary thoughts are the ones who are most likely to act upon them.
We are impressionable people. If we see or hear of something scary or disturbing, we worry that we may do these things. I always was afraid that I would flip out and hurt myself or others.
Try to limit what you are watching on TV or reading in the papers. I don't watch the news-other than the weather. I pick and chose what I will read in the newspaper based upon the headline. If it sounds scary or disturbing I bypass it.
As for your boyfriend I can understand how you felt after his comments. I know myself I am very sensitive to other people's remarks. By working the program you begin to see that maybe he was having a bad day or he was just tired. It is difficult for our significant others to always be supportive. My husband is support probably 99% of the time and sometimes he will say something that sounds hurtful. This is where we begin to take some control and ownership. We need to be able to have compassion for ourselves and others.
Acknowlegde that we're having a bad day and maybe there having one too. It's ok to feel whatever we are feeling then we must pick our selves up and tell ourselves it will pass. Pull out your relaxation tapes, practice your breathing and self talk, pull out your workbook. The more you put into yourself the more you will be able to comfort and soothe yourself. I know this because I was were you are right now, not that very long ago.
I wish you much success in your recovery take care and God Bless.
I had always known that I had anxiety disorder. It took awhile for me to acknowlegde that I also had some underlying depression as well. I was working with a coach who helped me to begin to recognize that it was there. Once I acknowledged it was there then I was able to move forward. It was my depression and anxious thinking that lead me to many of those I wish I was dead rather than having to deal with daily/multiple panic attacks. Even though, those type of thoughts resulted in greater anxiety and fear.
My coach explained to me that these scary thoughts were just that thoughts. Knowing that they caused me anxiety was an inidcation that I would never act on them. People who receive comfort/pleasure from these sick/scary thoughts are the ones who are most likely to act upon them.
We are impressionable people. If we see or hear of something scary or disturbing, we worry that we may do these things. I always was afraid that I would flip out and hurt myself or others.
Try to limit what you are watching on TV or reading in the papers. I don't watch the news-other than the weather. I pick and chose what I will read in the newspaper based upon the headline. If it sounds scary or disturbing I bypass it.
As for your boyfriend I can understand how you felt after his comments. I know myself I am very sensitive to other people's remarks. By working the program you begin to see that maybe he was having a bad day or he was just tired. It is difficult for our significant others to always be supportive. My husband is support probably 99% of the time and sometimes he will say something that sounds hurtful. This is where we begin to take some control and ownership. We need to be able to have compassion for ourselves and others.
Acknowlegde that we're having a bad day and maybe there having one too. It's ok to feel whatever we are feeling then we must pick our selves up and tell ourselves it will pass. Pull out your relaxation tapes, practice your breathing and self talk, pull out your workbook. The more you put into yourself the more you will be able to comfort and soothe yourself. I know this because I was were you are right now, not that very long ago.
I wish you much success in your recovery take care and God Bless.
-
Guest
I see so much of me in you! Great response !!Originally posted by bna:
Holly I can relate to what you were saying about the scary thoughts coming out of nowhere and then obessing over them knowing you would never hurt yourself. I know in my case, these types of thoughts were scary and seemed uncontrolable. I really thought there was something wrong w/me and that i was going to end locked up somewhere with the keys thrown away.
I had always known that I had anxiety disorder. It took awhile for me to acknowlegde that I also had some underlying depression as well. I was working with a coach who helped me to begin to recognize that it was there. Once I acknowledged it was there then I was able to move forward. It was my depression and anxious thinking that lead me to many of those I wish I was dead rather than having to deal with daily/multiple panic attacks. Even though, those type of thoughts resulted in greater anxiety and fear.
My coach explained to me that these scary thoughts were just that thoughts. Knowing that they caused me anxiety was an inidcation that I would never act on them. People who receive comfort/pleasure from these sick/scary thoughts are the ones who are most likely to act upon them.
We are impressionable people. If we see or hear of something scary or disturbing, we worry that we may do these things. I always was afraid that I would flip out and hurt myself or others.
Try to limit what you are watching on TV or reading in the papers. I don't watch the news-other than the weather. I pick and chose what I will read in the newspaper based upon the headline. If it sounds scary or disturbing I bypass it.
As for your boyfriend I can understand how you felt after his comments. I know myself I am very sensitive to other people's remarks. By working the program you begin to see that maybe he was having a bad day or he was just tired. It is difficult for our significant others to always be supportive. My husband is support probably 99% of the time and sometimes he will say something that sounds hurtful. This is where we begin to take some control and ownership. We need to be able to have compassion for ourselves and others.
Acknowlegde that we're having a bad day and maybe there having one too. It's ok to feel whatever we are feeling then we must pick our selves up and tell ourselves it will pass. Pull out your relaxation tapes, practice your breathing and self talk, pull out your workbook. The more you put into yourself the more you will be able to comfort and soothe yourself. I know this because I was were you are right now, not that very long ago.
I wish you much success in your recovery take care and God Bless.
-
Guest
The scary thought you had was just a thought. Dont allow yourself to stress over it. Scary thoughts are a part of life and I think most people have them, those of us with anxiety issues however dwell on them and fear them to excess, which in turn starts a vicious cycle.
I too had thoughts about harming my child, but those where just thoughts, things that scared the heck out of me,things I wanted to protect him from, they also were something I know I would never do.
I agree pay attention about things you watch, read, or research on the net, it can cause a cycle of anxiety to start. Surround yourself with positive things, things that make you feel good, not worry!
I would also agree that I think you need some help along the way regarding medication. It is hard to get out of this cycle when you are so deep into it (which I think you are.) Meds will take the edge of and make you see things clearer, but you have to be willing to stick it through with them and get past some of the side effects.
I started Lexapro 8 weeks ago and I see things so clearly now, I am able to heal and help myself, I no longer feel anxious or have scary thoughts. I am healing and it feels good. But in order for me to heal I had to get past the side effects for two weeks, and I am glad I did, they are nothing worse than what you are going through right now.
See your therapist (more often if you feel you need to), see your primary doc, and get yourself help now. As much as you would like to do this on your one, may of us have chemical imbalances, or lack of serotnin and need some meds to help us along the way.
I wish you luck and hope to hear some more positive posts from you in the future. Trust that you can do this.
I too had thoughts about harming my child, but those where just thoughts, things that scared the heck out of me,things I wanted to protect him from, they also were something I know I would never do.
I agree pay attention about things you watch, read, or research on the net, it can cause a cycle of anxiety to start. Surround yourself with positive things, things that make you feel good, not worry!
I would also agree that I think you need some help along the way regarding medication. It is hard to get out of this cycle when you are so deep into it (which I think you are.) Meds will take the edge of and make you see things clearer, but you have to be willing to stick it through with them and get past some of the side effects.
I started Lexapro 8 weeks ago and I see things so clearly now, I am able to heal and help myself, I no longer feel anxious or have scary thoughts. I am healing and it feels good. But in order for me to heal I had to get past the side effects for two weeks, and I am glad I did, they are nothing worse than what you are going through right now.
See your therapist (more often if you feel you need to), see your primary doc, and get yourself help now. As much as you would like to do this on your one, may of us have chemical imbalances, or lack of serotnin and need some meds to help us along the way.
I wish you luck and hope to hear some more positive posts from you in the future. Trust that you can do this.
ANGELS CAN FLY BECAUSE THEY TAKE THEMSELVES LIGHTLY
-
Guest
thank you for the reply. Well, i am taking vitamins now and doing a lot of positive self talk which has helped me so much. i feel i am getting better everyday. . some days not as good as others but def better. iv stopped my panic attacks during the day which is an achievement . . all i have now is this sleeping problem but will deal with that like iv dealt with the day panic. takes some time and practice and have done this all without an anit-depressant. . Maybe it'd help or maybe it'd make me feel worse. . . Maybe i'll be speninding more time dealing with this than those of you who take meds and they work for you. but again, im going to see how I do with out them. I had that scary thought today and guess what?! i did positive realistic self talk and it went away. this takes time as you all know. . so i will use my skils. 