Anxiety a robber of independence; creating selfishness..
Has anyone ever felt that they depend on everyone else to get through their day? I am afraid to drive long distances and over bridges and go out on my own by myself. I am not taking medication and I want to get over this issue myself. I feel as if i need to depend on other people to take me places and to drive me long distances. I act selfish and get mad when people do not have time for me. I hate being this way. I want to be independent. I have mild asthma but I am always afraid that I will have an asthma attack while out. I enjoy exercising but I am afraid if I go myself I will get an attack or twist my ankle. I hate living this way. If anyone has any suggestions please write me back. I need help!
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Guest
You are not alone in this. I think we all have this dependency issue because of our fears. Almost all the time these fears are unfounded. If we really take a good look they are so blown out of proportion.
Sometimes when i'm afraid to do something alone, I think about what's the worst thing that could happen? In your case, think about what if you had an asthma attack while out or exercising, or if you twisted your ankle? Someone would help you. If you needed medical attention, they would get it for you. You really would be fine. Your asthma is mild so it probably wouldn't happen anyway.
If you concentrate on the positives and stay in the moment of what you are doing, you can slowly become more independent. It certainly takes time and patience which is hard. I always wish there was a quick fix to this disorder! Take small steps, each one leads to bigger ones and you will find you can actually do whatever you set your mind to.
Good luck, Donna
Sometimes when i'm afraid to do something alone, I think about what's the worst thing that could happen? In your case, think about what if you had an asthma attack while out or exercising, or if you twisted your ankle? Someone would help you. If you needed medical attention, they would get it for you. You really would be fine. Your asthma is mild so it probably wouldn't happen anyway.
If you concentrate on the positives and stay in the moment of what you are doing, you can slowly become more independent. It certainly takes time and patience which is hard. I always wish there was a quick fix to this disorder! Take small steps, each one leads to bigger ones and you will find you can actually do whatever you set your mind to.
Good luck, Donna
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Guest
specialk you are definitely not alone!
i used to be super independent before my anxiety began to escalate. i find myself depending on my husband for a lot more than i used to... i ask him to do the food shopping, run the errands, walk the dog, etc because i don't like being away from my house (my *perceived* safety zone). i also find myself cutting back on my ambitions at work because i'm afraid that if my boss gives me more responsibility i'll mess it up and get fired, or worse, dissapoint our clients and they fire our firm. i depend on my co-workers to help me out a lot more.
it's beyond frustrating... but maybe try to set small, obtainable goals. like drive for 5 miles. once you see you can do that, push it to 10 miles... then 15, etc. don't give up... take small steps to push past the fear and once you see you can conquer those steps it might help you achieve bigger things you thought you couldn't do!
i used to be super independent before my anxiety began to escalate. i find myself depending on my husband for a lot more than i used to... i ask him to do the food shopping, run the errands, walk the dog, etc because i don't like being away from my house (my *perceived* safety zone). i also find myself cutting back on my ambitions at work because i'm afraid that if my boss gives me more responsibility i'll mess it up and get fired, or worse, dissapoint our clients and they fire our firm. i depend on my co-workers to help me out a lot more.
it's beyond frustrating... but maybe try to set small, obtainable goals. like drive for 5 miles. once you see you can do that, push it to 10 miles... then 15, etc. don't give up... take small steps to push past the fear and once you see you can conquer those steps it might help you achieve bigger things you thought you couldn't do!
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Guest
Hi SpecialK, Feeling dependent upon others is what many of us come here for. Hating the way we live is just another way to beat ourselves up and like you said, these behaviors allow "Anxiety to rob us..."
I read of a man named Albert Einstein, who never got a drivers license or drove a car anywhere! He did OK in Life and so can You!
My suggestion for ppl like us is to focus on our assets and what we can do. Take it easy on yourself and conquer your wants and aspirations - one step at a time. Listen to your 15 Lessons of the program and complete the workbooks, one after another. They Work! I don't know how, I'll figure that out some other day. Today I'm busy, SpecialK, I wanted to use my time to write to You. You’re doing just fine by coming here… keep up the good work! Your Buddy, Seadog
I read of a man named Albert Einstein, who never got a drivers license or drove a car anywhere! He did OK in Life and so can You!
My suggestion for ppl like us is to focus on our assets and what we can do. Take it easy on yourself and conquer your wants and aspirations - one step at a time. Listen to your 15 Lessons of the program and complete the workbooks, one after another. They Work! I don't know how, I'll figure that out some other day. Today I'm busy, SpecialK, I wanted to use my time to write to You. You’re doing just fine by coming here… keep up the good work! Your Buddy, Seadog
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Guest
You guys are awesome thank you for the helpful tips. It is so much easier to talk with people that have this problem. Thanks for the encouragement, it defintley helps. A lot of psychologists do not understand because they dont have the disorder. I think my biggest problem is I'm afraid to let others down also. I am afraid of disappointing other people because of my limitations. Thanks again for the great responses!
we live is just another way to beat ourselves up and like you said, these behaviors allow "Anxiety to rob us..."
I read of a man named Albert Einstein, who never got a drivers license or drove a car anywhere! He did OK in Life and so can You!
My suggestion for ppl like us is to focus on our assets and what we can do. Take it easy on yourself and conquer your wants and aspirations - one step at a time. Listen to your 15 Lessons of the program