If it's not OCD???

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Wed May 21, 2008 4:54 am

The more I read on OCD, the more (thankfully) I believe I don't have it.
I do have repeated, unwanted thoughts running through my head. They are either true (something that has happened or was said) or it's something true that I blow out of proportion (My husband said he really hates when I'm manic, so I start thinking he's wearing out from dealing with me, or he's leaving or he hates me). I get it so exaggerated and by the time I talk to him about it, he says- I just meant you're hard to deal with, that's it.
The truths in my head are like flashbacks in a way. No rhyme and reason to them, going back as far as I can remember. As far as I cn remember, they started last summer when I came off Topomax, Klonopin and others, and it's like my mind woke up and started thinking again. Now it's runaway.
Anybody else have these or know what they are?

Inside Man · Post by **Inside Man** » Thu May 22, 2008 2:05 pm

Hello bevhembree,
I have mild OCD. It only seems to act up though when I'm overly stressed. If you did have OCD it wouldn't be the end of things. You would just deal with it and keep going. This is just my opinion and we all have one, don't we? lol I don't want to scare you. That's not my intention but repeated unwanted thoughts running through your head can be OCD, a form of it anyway. I have that and I repeat my actions but I only do this when I'm overly stressed, not all the time. You sound like you are afraid of it. You shouldn't be. It's just another thing to deal with, like anxiety or depression. But only you know you. And you can tell if it is OCD or just from the anxiety. It could as you said after you got off the medication, your mind woke up and started thinking again. Now it's runaway. Coming from someone who has mild OCD, it sounds like just anxiety to me.

All my best,
Inside Man

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Thu May 22, 2008 8:44 pm

Thanks inside man-I'll see what the doc says on Monday. Just be good to put a name to it, you know?

Don57 · Post by **Don57** » Thu May 22, 2008 9:42 pm

I do have repeated, unwanted thoughts running through my head. They are either true (something that has happened or was said) or it's something true that I blow out of proportion (My husband said he really hates when I'm manic, so I start thinking he's wearing out from dealing with me, or he's leaving or he hates me). I get it so exaggerated and by the time I talk to him about it, he says- I just meant you're hard to deal with, that's it.
The truths in my head are like flashbacks in a way.

bevhembree,

This sounds similar to myself. AT times thoughts of past failures or bad situations come to mind, such as how my son was hurt emotionally and I didn't realize it was my actions, past events such as the officer basic summer camp I went through a long time ago, unwanted confrontations with people in the past, feeling like a total failure for not working for years, and not having this whole thing figure out by now.

This stuff hits me blindsided sometimes right after I wake up. Been here, done this before. This is not OCD in my opinion. It's simply our old way of thinking, beating ourselves up over and over. The old thought pattern habits are deep ruts which take time to erode and fade after we begin to change and think differently.

We are negative, overreactors, worriers, perfectionist, yada, yada, yada. There's nothing more to it than that. Our self esteem is minimal. For some, instead of God being a source of help, a person's view of Him can be distorted and the image they have of him can be a hindrance perpetuationg the negative mind set, instead of it helping.

Trust the program and the knowledge presented in it. These folks know what they are doing.

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Fri May 23, 2008 5:25 am

You are right on, Don, word for word. There's a lot of thinking to rewire up there, huh? At least when you pinpoint the problem, you know where to start fixing things. And, you are right. It will take time.
Thank you so much! Beverly