Avoidance of work-related activity

Charlie Brown · Post by **Charlie Brown** » Sun May 18, 2008 7:41 am

How do you handle a sudden urge to avoid doing something, in particular something work-related?

I just finished revamping my resume and was thinking which companies to send it to. All of a sudden I got this sudden urge to avoid continuing. I started doing distracting things: pulling on the skin of my lower lip, playing video pool, and waited for the Law and Order marathon. Then negative thoughts started coming about my job move (I am returning to Sales): this is going to happen in a sales job, it will happen when you're cold calling, you're going to fail. There was a tiny bit of panic but the majority of the emotion is the desire to avoid. Of course during this avoidance episode, I cannot recall my dissatisfaction with my current job

. Now I am mentally dead in the water--I am not doing anything resume-related and don't have a desire to do anything. Actually the only thing I have a desire to do it watch L&O. I have prior avoidance episodes like this before.

Thanks.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 18, 2008 9:22 am

I think the best thing you can do is turn off the tv and try to think of today as a fresh start to take control of what you want in a career and go out there and find it because good jobs don't find you. Monster.com is a good website to find jobs. Good luck

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 18, 2008 9:41 am

I'm with Eileen, here. I think you should take the first step. I've learned from my own experience that we can let our anxiety be an excuse to not take an action that would be scary for anyone.

Good luck.

LauriinCali · Post by **LauriinCali** » Sun May 18, 2008 1:39 pm

Thank you for all the replies. Unfortunately, I ended up watching Law and Order. A little depression set in. I did work on cleaning up papers...and discovered a new bill which I began dealing with. I don't have much time before I hit the hay and don't know if I'll do anything for the job search. Thanks again.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 18, 2008 1:57 pm

You're not alone. I have that problem too. If I can push past that first urge, I can make it work. Unfortunately, I'm really, really good at procrastination.

Georgann · Post by **Georgann** » Sun May 18, 2008 2:04 pm

Then negative thoughts started coming about my job move (I am returning to Sales): this is going to happen in a sales job, it will happen when you're cold calling, you're going to fail. There was a tiny bit of panic but the majority of the emotion is the desire to avoid.

This is a cognitive distortion and nothing more. It's called "JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS": You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts taht convincingly support your conclusion. You are anticipating that things will turn out badly, and you FEEL convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact. But, it's nothing more than a negative thought. There are no facts to support your conclusion.

I re-entered the field of accounting in 2005 after a 21 year absence. I also had apprehension. My last two jobs in the field were failures. The reasons they were was due primarily to lack of experience in cost-accounting in one and the other I simply had debilitating depression I wasn't in touch with and had to leave. Self esteem was also an issue. I may not be top management material, but I'm still pretty good at it and my re-entry proved that. One characteristic of most of us is that we're afraid to fail instead of seeking to succeed. The program teaches that failures, i.e. mistakes, are okay. Everybody fails at some point. It's how we respond and treat ourselves, i.e. attitude, that determines how we recover or if we recover. It's okay to fail or make a mistake. Honest.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 18, 2008 3:36 pm

Oh wow, Brenda and Don! Thanks for the responses. I am heading for sleep right now and just wanted to share a victory. I wanted to end the day on a high note and get out one resume. The first company I wanted to send to turned out not to have any jobs in my field listed on their site. I could have stopped there and be happy with the intention of sending out a resume despite today. But I didn't want to be satisfied with this. So I just redid my cover letter and sent out a resume to another company!;)! Now I can go to bed happy and proud of myself!!

I will read your replies tomorrow. I am running on fumes. Thanks so much for them.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 18, 2008 4:59 pm

I feel the same way you do! I am 21 years old and in college, and I often think How am I goig to handle a full time job when I get out of college. I cant even handle a part time job now working in the summer. I want to work full time, but sometimes i just cant do it. I get over whelmed way to easy and it seems when I do work thats when the anxiety starts, i am kinda glad that my degree is going to be in business because I can start my own business and work for myself and have other people for me. it makes me very scared because I am broke, and I really want a new car and I would really like to get my own appartment, but I can never keep a job because of my anxiety. It almost makes me want to get disability while I am in college and work a part time job. But then will I start to depend on that small check? And live check to check with disability because i am afraid to work all the time?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 19, 2008 1:48 pm

Brenda,

It sounds like we are in the same boat.

Don,

You are right about the cognitive distortion and the feeling the prediction is already established. Congrats on the re-entry. After 21 years? That's awesome! I have been out of Sales for eight years and the feeling I am getting from interviews and lack of replies on sent resumes is that 8 year gap is holding back me getting a new gig. You give me hope

. Thanks.

living,

I too want to be a business owner. I also get overwhelmed and anxiety (and avoidance) sets. Since anxiety seems to be the culprit, try and tackle that. I know you said you were broke but are you seeing a therapist? Let me offer you this because I also know what it's like being broke.

In 1998 I was in Sales and broke. I wanted to learn new sales techniques but didn't have the money to buy books. I went into a Barnes and Noble--I can remember it, it was in Union Square & 14th Street in Manhattan--with a yellow pad and pen. I took several books I was interested in with me to a table and took notes from them, writing the notes on the pad.

Look up books on anxiety and work. Go to a book store like Barnes and Noble or a library. A few months ago I made xeroxes in a library from a book on a physical ailment.

Try and help yourself despite the fact you are low on cash.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 19, 2008 5:29 pm

Hey Charlie!
This is an exciting opportunity --- and for us wit A&D we can actually be fearful of succeeding! Your are a wonderful person and your attributes could really work to your advantage! Show them off!