Communication Vs Human Interpretation
Communication is key in human relations, not only for the purpose of honest correspondence between two people, but to serve as a means of connectedness to minimize or eliminate false interpretation. Communication starts within us before anything. Generally we as humans communicate in two different ways. One way is from our heads and another is from our hearts and true feelings. I would rather someone yell at me from the truth of their heart opposed to a smile with inner turmoil of bitterness and anger. If we were all completely honest with each other it would be what I call “a brutal heaven on earth”, meaning that all misinterpretation of others and mind games would cease, suffice it to say we would communicate honestly no matter what the situation or who the person. The question is, would we become more judgmental and point out things that we disapprove of more frequently? What about our own opinions? Are they a reliable source of knowing what to say to someone when and how? If we truthfully expressed our emotions or feelings at the point of a reaction, instead of holding it in, I believe we as a human race would move much further within our psychological evolution amongst each other. Not only that, but as individuals we may take a better look at our own selves, after being criticized for our wrong doings. How many times do people speak words of resentment, or did something to really make you feel inadequate? This happens regularly and often with many people everyday in this world of ours. What to do about it? I think we need to first look at the ways in which we may become irritated or offended by another individual. I think when we first meet someone, we intentionally try to establish a relationship of friendship, lovers or business partners right off the bat. We might have judgments of appearance or some hidden criticism when we size the person up unintentionally but I believe we are inherently open-minded and give the new person the benefit of the doubt. Then why is it after a few weeks or months we either want to kill the person or run as far away as possible? Are we not all made from the same source? And if so why can’t we communicate through that continuously? I think we need to be in touch with our own intuition and be honest about it, instead of ignoring what our gut says.
Through my writing and inquiry I generally ask questions throughout the dialogue. This helps me spark my own thoughts and responses to these questions more spontaneously. The good news is that I believe we can all communicate in a way that does not separate us or divide us regardless of another man’s personality. If a division does occur, it has to do with the fact that two people are just better off in their own quarters, but not because they hate each other. We need to put the effort into it and try to look through different lenses at each other. The reason I believe this is possible is because I am a twin and regardless of how my brother offends me, I still see him as a unique individual but also as me, made up of the same stuff. Through that, I have learned that the more honest I am with him, the better and more truthful the relationship can manifest. When I put that to practice with strangers, I notice that there is more of a truthful pattern between myself and the other person, regardless of how much I may disapprove of their language towards me. I may not want to spend much time with the person because of the way he or she treats me, but at least deep down I see that our relationship works better and more harmoniously if I correspond more honestly and am more truthful with myself in their presence. You see if I fake my relationship with a person, I am disregarding my own gut instinct and playing the fool of my own mind game, but when I am open and honest with someone, I do it in a way that does not put them down or make me higher than them. I speak from what I believe is the truth in me; therefore when they receive my ideas, they interpret it as a way to improve instead of attack. Say somebody treats you in a way that belittles you and therefore makes you feel lower. What is your response? Does it matter who it is, weather it is your brother, sister or a roommate? It shouldn’t, therefore all reactions from you should be in accordance with how you believe people should communicate, no matter who it is. Why do we have a great relationship with one person no matter what and react differently with another after a sudden misunderstanding? This may happen the other way around as well. You may treat your friends better than you do your own family. This usually occurs with younger teenagers. The bottom line is this: if you don’t communicate from a truthful and honest place continuously with one another, then you will always be burdened with the senseless drama of a life entangled in others. Some people just don’t get along. That’s fine. But just be honest about it. If you explain to the person that you can no longer live together, when you have communicated it, it will be more truthful than just ignoring, pretending and falsifying the reason. There are people that are also trapped within their egos of who is right and who is wrong. They get something out of this, some sort of pleasure and assume identity with it. Let them be. The universe will surely assist you in setting your sails in the opposite direction. However during the time spent together, at least be honest with that person. Without trying to change them, you can still see the truth of their being, regardless of the negative surface and therefore communicate easier through that. You are still aware of how they are operating and from where their negativity derives, but you should never attack them for that. You are also not being artificial and pretending to be their friend. I have met many people throughout my life of all nationalities, with whom some of them I have grown closer with than others. I also learned that throughout my time spent with certain individuals, I did not completely relate to them and was therefore not fully honest with the relationship. I continued to have a nagging cloud of discontent with that person even many months or years later. It wasn’t until later that I realized deep down that if I had been just a little more honest and communicated, my relationship with that person might have grown differently. You see if you have two people operating from their heads in a relationship, then the chances are it will spiral into a whirlwind of drama and negativity, with nobody trying to resolve it truthfully. People continue to live this way for many years without being aware that a slight change in the telescope will make things appear more clearly. I don’t think were born to hate anyone. It is something that is conditioned in us from an early age. If you watch young school children interact, they are already judging, criticizing and manipulating each other on the playground. They decide whom they like and whom they will avoid before really getting to know the person. In some way I don’t think we are capable of completely not judging people, unless you were brought up on the moon by yourself, but even then, who knows? What your mind does, so it shall, but at least being more truthful with yourself in communication with humans, this may bring all your relationships to more of a realistic and honest level. I don’t think you can see every man as your brother or every woman as your sister in the mind’s eye, but through the same way you communicate with your true brother or sister, so shall you do the same with strangers. From this we may one day all live together peacefully… Written by Jason T Little. 2006 Copyright 2007. All rights reserved.
A little something about relationships....
-
Guest
-
Guest
-
Guest
a wise man once said "there is no truth only perception" I argued with that for weeks, believing there is a truth to every situation, but each day I saw the truth in his statement, our perception, comes from what we know, and if we are paying close attention. many times our perception is wrong, we jump to conclusions, because we are in a hurry, or because we are bored with the conversation. We are thinking of what we are going to say instead of what the person is saying. All of this plays with the fact we may not see eye to eye on anything with this person.Not only that, but as individuals we may take a better look at our own selves, after being criticized
The word misunderstanding is a bawd one. the reason for misunderstandings is because we don't take the time, to try to understand because we all have filters we grew up with that dictates what we hear, instead of what is said. Our culture is getting worse with this problem. even our writing is cryptic and difficult to understand now. In the age of all knowledge we learn very little, through our filters, or perception. When we can drop our filters, we are truly healed.