Afraid of doctors, illnesses
Hi, anyone out there that has a fear of going to doctors? I worry that they will find out that I have some terrible disease. My brother died suddenly at the age of 16(I was only 5 then and my parents did not deal with it well) Both of my parents passed away, one from cancer and the other a heart attack. My sister also had breast cancer,but has been cancer free for 10 years now. Anyway I think much of my anxiety stems from my childhood. I don't blame my parents as they only did what they could handle at the time. Anyone have a similiar story?
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Guest
Hi Freckles,
I can relate to your fear of getting sick and dying suddenly. This year marks the 5th year I am alive thanks to a heart transplant. Statistics for people like me, 32 yr old female don't really exist yet. I am the statistic. So, when i read about transplant recipients lasting 12, 15, 20 20+ years I try not to compare myself, but I do.
I think in your case you definitely have good reasons for experiencing your fear of doctors, illness, and untimely death. You have had a lot of death in your family that you witnessed first hand. It sounds like trauma, and since you never really talked about it in a safe place, the trauma lingers and manifests in the form of fear of doctors, illness, and death.
You said one of your parents died of a heart attack. Was this suddenly? And the other parent, did he/she suffer a long time with the cancer?
More in tune to the question of doctors, hospitals, etc. I have to say that I feel so SAFE in hospitals that you wouldn't believe. I never had issues with hospitals though, and in college I majored in biology wanting to be a doctor. The only thing I hate is PAIN from needles. But if I need a procedure done, I endure the pain because I figure it's temporary and I will still be alive afterwards.
As long as I'm alive I remind myself of everything I have and enjoy. If i get sick again I'll follow medical orders, keep appointments, file for disability, go to the hospital and eat, s***, and take my medicine when they tell me to. Knowing I am not finished living or completing a project is what bugs me the most. I keep telling myself: when you're dead you're dead. You won't be able to think anymore so you won't care - you won't exist. Still, not existing bothers me tremendously!! You know why?? Because I can't control when I live or die.
Hope i didn't add to your confusion.
Natalia
I can relate to your fear of getting sick and dying suddenly. This year marks the 5th year I am alive thanks to a heart transplant. Statistics for people like me, 32 yr old female don't really exist yet. I am the statistic. So, when i read about transplant recipients lasting 12, 15, 20 20+ years I try not to compare myself, but I do.
I think in your case you definitely have good reasons for experiencing your fear of doctors, illness, and untimely death. You have had a lot of death in your family that you witnessed first hand. It sounds like trauma, and since you never really talked about it in a safe place, the trauma lingers and manifests in the form of fear of doctors, illness, and death.
You said one of your parents died of a heart attack. Was this suddenly? And the other parent, did he/she suffer a long time with the cancer?
More in tune to the question of doctors, hospitals, etc. I have to say that I feel so SAFE in hospitals that you wouldn't believe. I never had issues with hospitals though, and in college I majored in biology wanting to be a doctor. The only thing I hate is PAIN from needles. But if I need a procedure done, I endure the pain because I figure it's temporary and I will still be alive afterwards.
As long as I'm alive I remind myself of everything I have and enjoy. If i get sick again I'll follow medical orders, keep appointments, file for disability, go to the hospital and eat, s***, and take my medicine when they tell me to. Knowing I am not finished living or completing a project is what bugs me the most. I keep telling myself: when you're dead you're dead. You won't be able to think anymore so you won't care - you won't exist. Still, not existing bothers me tremendously!! You know why?? Because I can't control when I live or die.
Hope i didn't add to your confusion.
Natalia
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Guest
Hi Lamaestra13..thanks for your reply. Yes my mom died suddenly 6 years ago and my Dad suffered dearly with pancreatic cancer. He's been gone for 10 years now. They were both in their early 70's though that's not real old these days. I miss them alot. Thanks for sharing your story. You make me smile when I hear success stories like yours. I can see why you learned to appreciate life sooner then some.
You didn't mention why you had to have the transplant. Mind if I ask why?
You didn't mention why you had to have the transplant. Mind if I ask why?