Outside forces

Rhasslariel · Post by **Rhasslariel** » Sun May 04, 2008 4:37 am

How do you react when it seems outside forces are conspiring against you? Example: Whenever I try to use my relaxation tape, it seems things happen around me to prevent my relaxing. I have no place without distraction. If I'm in the bedroom laying down, just as I get into the tape one of my cats will start meowing at the door. They've already been fed, and they don't come into that room, but as soon as I put the tape on, one of them is there. Or my husband starts going in and out of the other room and I keep hearing the door banging shut (he's a big guy and does nothing quietly). Last night I tried the tape in the living room with headphones on. My first try, one of the cats jumps up. My second try, the cats leave me alone, but my dog suddenly sticks his nose in my face wondering what I'm doing. Got him to settle down, got back into the tape...the stadium down the street starts setting off fireworks. Today I try to listen to the tape while folding laundry in the bedroom. One of the cats starts meowing outside the door again, chase him off, then two others start to fight outside the door. (Is there something on this tape that attracts animals? LOL). Got angry and lashed out at them to make them leave. Got back into the tape, my husband comes in and tells me he's feeling blah, has a headache and asks if he can take a nap when I'm done with the clothes. None of these things are under my control, I know this. But it all seems to be against me. I hope as I get further into the program, stuff like this won't bother me but for now its giving me stress.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 04, 2008 6:09 am

How about putting the pets out of doors (outside the house) until you finish?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 04, 2008 6:55 am

Tell your husband this is very important and to not interupt you for anything! Does he really have to come in when youre trying to better yourself to tell you he has a headache? NO! Its 15 minutes he can wait! Also like Don said kick the pets out of the house completely or put them in a cage and turn the volumne up extra loud so you cant hear them meow or bark. This is YOUR time take it!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sun May 04, 2008 7:56 am

Rhasslariel, I thought I was the only one with this problem. As soon as I put on my headphones, one of my boys will knock on my bedroom door to ask me something, or my baby starts crawling all over me and pulling my headphones off and looks at me with his cute little face, or my fiance seems to start talking to me right in the middle of it. So now I set up 15 minutes all to myself. I tell the kids in advance to watch the baby for 15 minutes and tell my fiance what I'm doing and everyone will leave me alone for 15 minutes, but if I try to do it with out notifying everyone of what I'm doint all the interuptions begin. They just tell me, well we didn't know. That made me laugh when you said does the cd attract animals (lol) funny!!! Well, I agree with Don57 try putting the animals outdoors for 15 min. and telling your husband that you need just 15 minutes of quiet time, and I'm sure he'll accommadate you. Take care

.

Your friend, Dee

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 04, 2008 8:28 am

My cats are indoor only animals, I've lost too many pets by putting them outdoors. They will wonder off in that 15 minutes and not come back for a day or so, or not at all. I've had this happen, many times, so it would only add to my anxiety. The dog is okay if I'm in the bedroom, he only bothered me cause he saw the headphones. I've had pets all my life, much more than I have now. They have always been my sanctuary. That and yard work. My husband cares very much about my well being, but he has psychological issues of his own. Mentally he can be just like having a 12 year old boy around. (He is on 100% disability for his mental and physical problems, so its not just my opinion). He is a very paranoid person. His terrible life until he met me made him that way. His philosophy is to expect the worst, that way you're prepared if it happens. but he doesn't suffer from anxiety...go figure. He is afraid of doing or saying anything he thinks might upset me though. He only trusts me. He only wants to see me happy. He doesn't work, he spends his days playing computer games which is okay by me most of the time. But he gets distracted very easily and can't focus on more than one thing at a time. He would forget I'm in there and walk in anyway. I know none of them do what they do on purpose. It just seems their timing is always the worst.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 04, 2008 9:45 am

I have 4 cats, none of them by choice. Three are wild and one is tame. They are all outside, never in the house and they do just fine. They know who feeds them daily.

They don't care to wander off, though I'd love for them all too. lol. How about simply not paying attention to them if they are outside your room? Or locking them in another part of the house while you listen? Or spraying them with water using a hand sprayer if they interrupt? The tame cat I feed sometimes comes in the house uninvited and as soon as I get the sprayer she bolts for the door.

As was mentioned by several posters, kindly let your hubby and others know that you are going to be busy for the next half hour or so and ask them to respect the time you have put aside for yourself. If hubby is forgeful, put up a sign on the door.

Another option is to go to a library and do the work on the program, or outside somewhere where it's quiet. Even in the car in the garage might be an option.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 04, 2008 12:06 pm

Rhasslariel,

Don57 offers good options for you, if your anmials are indoor animals only, maybe you can sneak outside to a lounge chair and listen to your relaxation cd for 15 minutes, with a reminder sign for hubby (15 minutes only sweetie, do not disturb

. Hope you find a solution.

Your friend, Dee

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun May 04, 2008 12:34 pm

Thanks for the input. I have outside cats too, but they were born outside and have never been inside so they have no urge to wander. The inside cats were bottle raised, and some are declawed. They would want to wander and they might also pick up diseases the outdoor cats have more immunity to. The water is a good idea. My husband suggested getting a squirt gun. That might work. (On him too. LOL) I was actually thinking of using the front bathroom as my quiet spot. I thought of putting a chaise lounge cushion in the bathtub and reclining in there. That seems to be the one room in the house people (and even the animals) tend to automatically leave someone alone. LOL