Am I ever going to be normal
How do you get over being scred of people? My bf just invited some friends over for a couple ****tails and the whole time everyone was here I couldn't even join in on a conversation, for 3 hours I didn't say one word. I'm so tired of living like this...is it really even worth living..i ask myself. 35 years of this and don't know how much more i can take.
Hi!
I think having some level of anxiety in a situation like this is entirely normal; you said that your bf invited pople over- were they your friends, too? I'm a social butterfly (my anxiety/depression is due to life circumstances), but this would freak me out.
Even though I'm mostly an extrovert, it's really hard for me to be social around people I don't know. I have learned if I direct the conversation around others it takes the pressure off me- who doesn't like to talk about themself (other than people like us?!
)?
I know what it's like to constantly feel like you want to crawl out of your skin; for me, I feel like I kave a boa constrictor wrapped around my neck.
I'm also 35 and have suffered nearly nine years-many times I'd just try to escape through sleep, but I'm tired being this person (especially when I know what I used to be like) and am ready to regain my life. I know it's going to be hard as hell, but like my little sister says, "Anything that's worth it is going to be hard."
You can pm me if you ever need someone to talk to. I know how you feel, but it can and WILL get better!
fischee
I think having some level of anxiety in a situation like this is entirely normal; you said that your bf invited pople over- were they your friends, too? I'm a social butterfly (my anxiety/depression is due to life circumstances), but this would freak me out.
Even though I'm mostly an extrovert, it's really hard for me to be social around people I don't know. I have learned if I direct the conversation around others it takes the pressure off me- who doesn't like to talk about themself (other than people like us?!
)?I know what it's like to constantly feel like you want to crawl out of your skin; for me, I feel like I kave a boa constrictor wrapped around my neck.
I'm also 35 and have suffered nearly nine years-many times I'd just try to escape through sleep, but I'm tired being this person (especially when I know what I used to be like) and am ready to regain my life. I know it's going to be hard as hell, but like my little sister says, "Anything that's worth it is going to be hard."
You can pm me if you ever need someone to talk to. I know how you feel, but it can and WILL get better!
fischee
-
bevhembree
- Posts: 275
- Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:44 am
I am an extreme introvert and am very quite around more than two people. We live near my husband's large family, of which I've only been a part of for almost 3 years, so when they get together, they talk about people and times that I don't have the first clue about. I sit and smile and listen intently, giving them my full attention. That's the best I can do. I went to an uncle's funeral a few weeks ago and just sat there with the baby saying, Hi, How are you, for the most part. I was just happy I made it through the five hours.
"Here and happy because of my three little angels- Marie, Chad and Cady."
Hello Bk~don't give up and keep thinking positive and you will make it. Love and hugs to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never let where you come from, or who you are, stop you from getting to where you want to go or from being who you want to be...
So often I hear people say "My past is holding me back" or "What do you expect, this is who I am" These are some of the most limiting excuses that can be used to justify your failure to perform, to your, or someone else's, expectations...
Firstly, your past cannot hold you back, it is always you who won't let go. Your past is exactly that, your past. It is only you, by your constant reference to it, that keeps it alive. All too often I have met people who keep their past between them and their future. They complain that things never seem to work out for them, that life seems to be an endless repetition of the same old thing...
Secondly, you are only who you think you are, and you can change who you are merely by changing who you think you are. It is only your image of yourself and where you think you fit into the world that determines who you are...
There are people, who still today, use their upbringing, their childhood, the area they grew up in, the political situation and any other excuse that they can think of to justify their current performance, behaviour and position. How sad. By clinging to these feeble excuses they deny themselves the opportunity to grow. In any situation there are those who choose to complain and justify and there are those who choose to change and grow...
How many people do you know who grew up in exactly the same circumstances yet they chose to grow beyond the "limitations of their past" and break out of the mould that would have kept them locked into the behaviour patterns of their environment. They made a conscious decision to break out and live a life of their choosing and their making...
Realise this, to get to where you are now you had to make many changes. You are no longer the child you were, you are no longer in the situation that you were in, except in your imagination. Understand that in order to grow you have got to let go. You have got to let go of limiting beliefs and of feeble excuses that deny your potential and justify your failure...
Where is it that you would like to go? Who would you like to become? All to often the reason that things do not change is that we have not made a decision as to where we want to go or who we want to be. The future is given to us as a limitless set of possibilities. It is up to us to choose the future that we want and then to take the appropriate action that will make that desired future a current reality...
The question is not "Can you change?" but rather "Will you change?" and then "When will you change?" Remember that you are a three dimensional being. The person you were, the person you are, and the person you can become. All growth in your life depends on you focussing on the person you can become and then concentrating on changing the behaviour of the person you are to ensure that you become the person you want to be. So "Never let where you come from, or who you are, stop you from getting to where you want to go or from being who you want to be"...
~ Johan V Campbell ~
Posted by: LINELLA BRECKENRIDGE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never let where you come from, or who you are, stop you from getting to where you want to go or from being who you want to be...
So often I hear people say "My past is holding me back" or "What do you expect, this is who I am" These are some of the most limiting excuses that can be used to justify your failure to perform, to your, or someone else's, expectations...
Firstly, your past cannot hold you back, it is always you who won't let go. Your past is exactly that, your past. It is only you, by your constant reference to it, that keeps it alive. All too often I have met people who keep their past between them and their future. They complain that things never seem to work out for them, that life seems to be an endless repetition of the same old thing...
Secondly, you are only who you think you are, and you can change who you are merely by changing who you think you are. It is only your image of yourself and where you think you fit into the world that determines who you are...
There are people, who still today, use their upbringing, their childhood, the area they grew up in, the political situation and any other excuse that they can think of to justify their current performance, behaviour and position. How sad. By clinging to these feeble excuses they deny themselves the opportunity to grow. In any situation there are those who choose to complain and justify and there are those who choose to change and grow...
How many people do you know who grew up in exactly the same circumstances yet they chose to grow beyond the "limitations of their past" and break out of the mould that would have kept them locked into the behaviour patterns of their environment. They made a conscious decision to break out and live a life of their choosing and their making...
Realise this, to get to where you are now you had to make many changes. You are no longer the child you were, you are no longer in the situation that you were in, except in your imagination. Understand that in order to grow you have got to let go. You have got to let go of limiting beliefs and of feeble excuses that deny your potential and justify your failure...
Where is it that you would like to go? Who would you like to become? All to often the reason that things do not change is that we have not made a decision as to where we want to go or who we want to be. The future is given to us as a limitless set of possibilities. It is up to us to choose the future that we want and then to take the appropriate action that will make that desired future a current reality...
The question is not "Can you change?" but rather "Will you change?" and then "When will you change?" Remember that you are a three dimensional being. The person you were, the person you are, and the person you can become. All growth in your life depends on you focussing on the person you can become and then concentrating on changing the behaviour of the person you are to ensure that you become the person you want to be. So "Never let where you come from, or who you are, stop you from getting to where you want to go or from being who you want to be"...
~ Johan V Campbell ~
Posted by: LINELLA BRECKENRIDGE
Annette