How to handle negative family members
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Guest
My ex husband is negative and full of anger and anxiety but won't do or take anything to help. I usually get called when he is angry and cussing over something silly like whether it's going to rain at Boy Scout Camp tomorrow because he can't make a decision. Then ll these other things get thrown in. Finally, I have to remind him that I've talked to him about negativity toward or around me and that I'm still in a fragile state. He will usually apologize and leave me alone after that.
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Guest
IEM,
Of course it hurts, but help yourself first.
It's generally not a good idea to try to "fix" other people, especially when we're working on ourselves. We had to get to the point where we WANTED to overcome our anxiety/panic/depression and it was a very personal choice that nobody else could make for us.
Show them by example how well you're doing and keep the comments about the program to a minimum. It's hard to do this at times because we get so excited about the wonderful, positive changes happening for us,but let's face it, misery does love company. It's sad and unhealthy, but true. Some family members may not want you to change for the better -even without realizing it -because that's not the role they're used to seeing you in. Often, other people in our lives are used to manipulating us by anger, guilt trips or whatever and they don't want that control to be taken away from them.
The further you go along in the program, you'll learn to recognize the positive people you can truly go to for support and will steer clear of the negatives. That's not to say we should alienate ourselves from family, but just recognize when to politely end a phone conversation or walk away from negative influence.
The stronger we get, the more we concentrate on overcoming our own anxiety and/or depression, the less the negative people in our lives can weigh us down. We don't allow it.
Keep moving forward with empowering your own life and you'll find that most others will eventually end up responding in a more positive way to the new you.
The more we radiate good thoughts about ourselves, and truly believe them,
well, the rest just takes care of itself.
Go forward and enjoy the journey.
God bless and hugs to you.
Of course it hurts, but help yourself first.
It's generally not a good idea to try to "fix" other people, especially when we're working on ourselves. We had to get to the point where we WANTED to overcome our anxiety/panic/depression and it was a very personal choice that nobody else could make for us.
Show them by example how well you're doing and keep the comments about the program to a minimum. It's hard to do this at times because we get so excited about the wonderful, positive changes happening for us,but let's face it, misery does love company. It's sad and unhealthy, but true. Some family members may not want you to change for the better -even without realizing it -because that's not the role they're used to seeing you in. Often, other people in our lives are used to manipulating us by anger, guilt trips or whatever and they don't want that control to be taken away from them.
The further you go along in the program, you'll learn to recognize the positive people you can truly go to for support and will steer clear of the negatives. That's not to say we should alienate ourselves from family, but just recognize when to politely end a phone conversation or walk away from negative influence.
The stronger we get, the more we concentrate on overcoming our own anxiety and/or depression, the less the negative people in our lives can weigh us down. We don't allow it.
Keep moving forward with empowering your own life and you'll find that most others will eventually end up responding in a more positive way to the new you.
The more we radiate good thoughts about ourselves, and truly believe them,
well, the rest just takes care of itself.
Go forward and enjoy the journey.
God bless and hugs to you.
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Guest
What helped me with my family was limiting my time with them. There are still some that are the same ol, same ol and I do NOT spend much time with them because it is always some huge dramatic crisis, mostly made by themselves or they have the "poor me" syndrome or they are the victim each and every time. They will turn things around and make it appear as if the world is crapping on them, but they do NOTHING to change that. I cannot change that for them, THEY need to change their perception about themselves, I cannot "fix" anyone.What should I do?
What I have done was buy Lucinda's books for my loved ones, some even did the program too. Others do not see that things CAN be better or it takes too much effort, or there is nothing wrong with them because it is everyone else not treating them like they want so it is all THEIR fault.
You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot force them to drink. Offer the information. I am glad I did because those that took steps to work on themselves feel SO much better, they are much happier, more confident, more at peace, put their life into perspective, are actually pleasant to be around.
But I feel I needed to distance myself from certain family, still do. I want to surround myself with people that generally are happy. I know life is not perfect, but it also is not something to gripe about 24/7 because there is A LOT of good in peoples life, they would see it IF they stopped complaining about everything and everyone else for s few seconds I do not "get into it" with family about stuff. If that is the way they want to be, well then they are pushing people away, THAT is NOT my issue! I do not need to have some guilt trip played on me, deal with pouting, sour puss attitudes, childish behavior. There is SO much more in life than to stew in muck!