Melony,
I claimed God's healing in my life (over my mind) last year. It is easy to lose faith when the results don't come right away. But I still stand on that claim and thank Him for healing me though it is happening in His time not mine. He will use me to reach others who suffer through these things, I believe, but I have to suffer first to have the understanding and compassion needed to reach another. I know claim His healing over my physical pain and symptoms that they might be relieved and trouble me no more. I know He will lead me to the right doctors who will helpme endure this and I shall have victory in time!
Miracle, Luck or Lies?
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Guest
Melony – I have tried responding to your question so many times (then deleted it) I just can’t find the words. Or I should say; I can’t seem to find the words to make a long story short. 
I hope this helps a little.
At the moment in my life when Bill got the first cancer I had turned from God (long story) and his cancer was just another justification to me that life was just an endless waste of useless time. I hated life then. Fighting anxiety/panic/depression didn’t help at all and I was still working the Lucinda and the New Life program.
When he was going through the first, second and third cancer, I had pretty much gone through every emotional, physical, mental, spiritual breakdown that anyone could go under, dealing with him and my own personal recovery. At one point having a very embarrassing breakdown at the cancer center and had to go to an “emergency therapist/counselor.”
My turning point? One day I was sitting in the cafeteria of cancer center. (Bill was upstairs getting chemo.) I sat there watching other patients. Some of them in wheelchairs with chemo IV strapped to them; some so weak they were being fed by others; some so thin they seemed they would brake in half in you touched them; some that looked so bad that I could barely look at them. It was a dismal sight. But then I started not watching them, but really observing their faces. They had such Hope in their eyes. They were laughing with family through their physical pain. They spoke of healing and God and their future. I was very angry and numb. I didn’t get it. I was sitting there thinking, “What the hell are they fighting for?” These people were fighting for their life when all I wanted to do was die.
I grabbed some coffee and went back upstairs and silently stood back and watched Bill……….. bald headed, needles sticking in his arms, way too thin, sores on his body, but with the biggest smile on his face joking with the nurses. Everyone was smiling and laughing, but me. “What was keeping him smiling?” "What did these patients have that I didnt'?"
I just started searching for that “thing”. That thing that made those people fight for their lives. That thing was FAITH. Slowly but surely, I was guided back to God. I can’t explain it. I won’t even try.
Will I falter? Probably
Do I still have doubts? Sometimes
Have I lost my Faith through all this? It has been tested big time
But all this has made my Faith stronger and me stronger.
And like Bevhembree said, “I know He will lead me to the right doctors who will help me endure this and I shall have victory in time”
I believe that wholeheartedly! There is so much to our story that there is just not enough room in the forum to write it all. There are more miracles. More things that have happened that there is no doubt in my mind it was from God.
So, I guess to really answer your question Melony. Do I have Faith that God will heal my situation? All I know now is, when you have Jesus in your life….life just isn’t as bad as it seems.
**********
At the Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Tulsa, OK they believe in 4 things, Prayer, Support, Nutrition, then Chemo/Surgery (in that order.) They believe God is the Ultimate healer. They have on staff Pastors and Counselors. They also pray over their patients before any surgery is done. And many times throughout the hospital you will see nurses, staff, and even housekeeping personnel praying with the patients AND family members.
*******************
One of the flyers they gave says:
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannont silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
And it cannot conquer the spirit.
***********
I hope this helps a little.At the moment in my life when Bill got the first cancer I had turned from God (long story) and his cancer was just another justification to me that life was just an endless waste of useless time. I hated life then. Fighting anxiety/panic/depression didn’t help at all and I was still working the Lucinda and the New Life program.
When he was going through the first, second and third cancer, I had pretty much gone through every emotional, physical, mental, spiritual breakdown that anyone could go under, dealing with him and my own personal recovery. At one point having a very embarrassing breakdown at the cancer center and had to go to an “emergency therapist/counselor.”
My turning point? One day I was sitting in the cafeteria of cancer center. (Bill was upstairs getting chemo.) I sat there watching other patients. Some of them in wheelchairs with chemo IV strapped to them; some so weak they were being fed by others; some so thin they seemed they would brake in half in you touched them; some that looked so bad that I could barely look at them. It was a dismal sight. But then I started not watching them, but really observing their faces. They had such Hope in their eyes. They were laughing with family through their physical pain. They spoke of healing and God and their future. I was very angry and numb. I didn’t get it. I was sitting there thinking, “What the hell are they fighting for?” These people were fighting for their life when all I wanted to do was die.
I grabbed some coffee and went back upstairs and silently stood back and watched Bill……….. bald headed, needles sticking in his arms, way too thin, sores on his body, but with the biggest smile on his face joking with the nurses. Everyone was smiling and laughing, but me. “What was keeping him smiling?” "What did these patients have that I didnt'?"
I just started searching for that “thing”. That thing that made those people fight for their lives. That thing was FAITH. Slowly but surely, I was guided back to God. I can’t explain it. I won’t even try.
Will I falter? Probably
Do I still have doubts? Sometimes
Have I lost my Faith through all this? It has been tested big time
But all this has made my Faith stronger and me stronger.
And like Bevhembree said, “I know He will lead me to the right doctors who will help me endure this and I shall have victory in time”
I believe that wholeheartedly! There is so much to our story that there is just not enough room in the forum to write it all. There are more miracles. More things that have happened that there is no doubt in my mind it was from God.
So, I guess to really answer your question Melony. Do I have Faith that God will heal my situation? All I know now is, when you have Jesus in your life….life just isn’t as bad as it seems.
**********
At the Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Tulsa, OK they believe in 4 things, Prayer, Support, Nutrition, then Chemo/Surgery (in that order.) They believe God is the Ultimate healer. They have on staff Pastors and Counselors. They also pray over their patients before any surgery is done. And many times throughout the hospital you will see nurses, staff, and even housekeeping personnel praying with the patients AND family members.
*******************
One of the flyers they gave says:
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannont silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
And it cannot conquer the spirit.
***********
Last edited by Conner on Sun May 04, 2008 2:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Conner your story is truly an inspiration to us all. It is so easy to just give up in the face of those types of hardships. However it takes a tremendous amount of Faith to stay the course in the midst of so much adversity. I am so happy for Bill and yourself and I wish you many happy years together because obviously God has greater plans for you both.
As i read your post I was uplifted in my own personal struggles I have been going through. I had been a drunk and drug addict for over forty years. A little less than 4 months ago I cant explain what happened but I joined AA. I cannot begin to tell you how much my life has changed since I turned my life and my will over to the care of my heavenly Father.
I got hooked on drugs and alcohol by trying to ease the pain of anxiety and depression. It was the only time I could feel happy. Of course we all know that type of happiness is fleeting and you need more and more of the substances that create that so called happiness. God reached out and touched my soul and I have been clean and sober for almost 4 months. Yes I DO believe in miracles. Our Father knows what we want before we even ask, He wants us to ask Him though because it shows our faith in Him. I know I will never look back because My Father walks with me every step every moment of my life. All any of us have is THIS moment, I try to live my life with His help just for THIS moment.
Yes I believe in miracles. Just look around they ARE everywhere. All you people who suffer go to God He is the Master Healer believe in Him and your life will be changed more than you can ever know. I know now after I turned my back on Him for years and did things MY way that He wanted more for me and knew I was capable of more. If God has that kind of confidence in me who am I to destroy what He had so freely given me. God Bless All who read this and thank you Conner for such a great testament to Faith in God.
As i read your post I was uplifted in my own personal struggles I have been going through. I had been a drunk and drug addict for over forty years. A little less than 4 months ago I cant explain what happened but I joined AA. I cannot begin to tell you how much my life has changed since I turned my life and my will over to the care of my heavenly Father.
I got hooked on drugs and alcohol by trying to ease the pain of anxiety and depression. It was the only time I could feel happy. Of course we all know that type of happiness is fleeting and you need more and more of the substances that create that so called happiness. God reached out and touched my soul and I have been clean and sober for almost 4 months. Yes I DO believe in miracles. Our Father knows what we want before we even ask, He wants us to ask Him though because it shows our faith in Him. I know I will never look back because My Father walks with me every step every moment of my life. All any of us have is THIS moment, I try to live my life with His help just for THIS moment.
Yes I believe in miracles. Just look around they ARE everywhere. All you people who suffer go to God He is the Master Healer believe in Him and your life will be changed more than you can ever know. I know now after I turned my back on Him for years and did things MY way that He wanted more for me and knew I was capable of more. If God has that kind of confidence in me who am I to destroy what He had so freely given me. God Bless All who read this and thank you Conner for such a great testament to Faith in God.
ATTITUDE -- The mind is like a parachute...it doesn't work unless it's open!!
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Guest