I can't even take a vacation

dsd · Post by **dsd** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 6:40 pm

I have had panic attacks on and off for about 7 years - there have been times where I haven't had anxiety - went to Italy, Hawaii, Mexico - vacationed and didn't think a thing about it.

Now - not so much. I am in a constant state of anxiety and often feel like I am about to have a major panic attack. My husband wants to take a vacation, and I can't even fathom the thought of it - getting on a plane, being stuck on it - and then being somewhere that isn't home.... What if I have a panic attack and just want to be home?

How do I get over this hurdle? Its been a year and 1/2 since I've been on vacation... and I don't want to never vacation again....

And side note - the last time I tried to go (was going to Paris), got to the airport, went through security, the whole nine yards, and decided I couldn't do it.... I CAN'T do that again....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:47 am

I know the feeling...Why don't you start with mini vacations, not traveling but maybe a vacation site on a different town in your area that way you don't have to travel that much. You will be out of the house and in a different environment. Look up on the internet and find out about places and then tell your husband. See if it works. I want to go to traveling too but right now I know not ready yet. I'm taking baby steps.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 6:48 am

Hello!I can totally relate!My family just went on vacation last weekend and I ended up staying home alone.Not much better but easier to handle.I know how this makes you feel.It really is ok though.Just keep moving forward and you and me both will be able to go on vacation again soon.One step at a time.Don't let the negative thoughts about this flood you!You are not a failure!You are actually very strong because you admit that you have a problem.The ones that can't admit that they have a problem are those who won't change.We just have to learn to cope and believe in ourselves!I wish you best wishes if you decide to go!Don't beat yourself up if you feel like you're just not ready.It will happen.One day you'll just say hey I feel like going on a vacation.Can't wait until then.Looking forward to it myself.God Bless and take care!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:18 am

This is a big one for me too. I had to give back 109 HRS of vacation in Jan. because I didnt use it. I'm in the foreign service with the US Gov. Looks like I might have to give another 100 or so back if I don't break this cycle, what a waste! I also need to get on the planes again, my job takes me to all the continents of the world, and now I'm running a desk in DC..... I'm not scared of the flying part, it's having a panic attack in a weird foreign place. Hankster....

Amy Steckler · Post by **Amy Steckler** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 2:03 pm

This one is a huge issue with me also. In my mind, I would love to take a vacation and go somewhere but when it comes down to it I find it really hard. I did however driver out of town today about 30 minutes away to run an errand. I was a little anxious but it was a great experience for me.

Dalma, I really like your idea of mini vacations. I've been thinking of going and staying in a hotel fairly close for starters. also have been thinking of just picking different close cities on the weekends and just drive there and look around for the day.

DSD - I want to go to Paris. I've never flown out of the US and it's been a long time since I've flown at all. Now if I can only win the lottery then that would take away my excuses.

Mainstay - I hear that! I would like to be able to go to a movie without fearing the anxiety. Haven't been able to bring myself to do that yet although I'm making big progress in other areas.

alwaysbeenweird · Post by **alwaysbeenweird** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 3:06 pm

This is my 6th day of session 1 and a feel related to you because I can't be in an enclosed areas like an airplane, or trip inside a car no more than 8 hours, elevators.... and my husband is planning go to Florida this summer; but I doubt I can make it because is hard to spent 17 hours in a car. I think is a little too soon to say I can't, because I have hopes that the vacation will become a reallity.

Sorry for the spelling because my first language is spanish.

Thank you for your comprehension.

Olympia

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:51 pm

I can relate. I haven't been able to go on a vacation in about 10 years. I can't fly (I'm too scared) and I can't drive far (only about my city). So, vacations are pretty much out for me right now. BUT, I am doing the program again and hoping that I can soon start to take "small little steps" towards that big vacation to Hawaii or that Caribbean cruise that I so often dream about. And, I know, God willing, that day will come! Good luck.
Rob.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:52 pm

I can so relate to everyone on this thread! I haven't been on a "real" vacation for about 10 years. Prior to developing anxiety and panic disorder, I travelled all over the world (although plane trips made me nervous even then; I was the one clicking the rosary beads in the middle row).
I dream of once again taking to the friendly skies or the open highway, and think that mini-vacations are a great idea!
My heart goes out to each and every one of you on this forum. Believe me, I know how you feel. And I think what makes the situation even worse, is the fact that oftentimes we feel sad and guilty for depriving our families of the good times which they would enjoy, if not for our condition.
I hope that we will all meet on a beach in Hawaii someday (soon!).
Good luck, my friends.
Cynthia

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 16, 2008 2:31 pm

dsd,

I have had panic attacks really bad when going on a trip. I went to North Carolina and went up the side of a mountain (I am scared of heights) I paniced when in the car on the way there and then I have a busted ear drum from childhood that never fully healed so the elevation that I was at didn't help me. But I went and it was nice. I was visiting my mom at the time she lived there and it was nice. You can have panic attacks anywhere the place doesn't really make a difference. I would take little trips like what someone else said. Then I would keep moving a little more farther out until you feel comfortable. Once you get to where you are going then you will be fine. You are working yourself up before you even make arrangments which always makes it worse. Take little steps until you feel comfortable. I have conquered many fears lately and I dont even like going across town but if I can do it then you can too! I have made myself go just to conquer the fear because once you face it you realize how stupid it was in the first place. Just tell yourself that the trip is going to be amazing and that you are going to love it! Positive self talk always helps!

Blessings, Jennifier