Terrible Guilt and Wanting to find Christians who can help
Dear Nature
You are not alone. I too am a Christian and if I must say a wonderful caring person. But I too have had these thoughts. What if I did this, what if I turned into a molester, etc.
I too got naked with a cousin of mine and was just tormented over it. But kids do do those things. They are curious it is normal.
I do understand these thoughts are so tormenting. You must go thru the program. Listen to your tapes. Put a stop sign up. Thoughts only Thoughts. Its just Anxiety. No Big Deal. Write this down. Repeat it over and over. Exercise, Get Distracted, Stay Busy.
Never blame yourself for what happened to your sister. This was not your fault!!! If you would like to chat online in the chat room, maybe you can catch me there sometime. Most of the time Im there in the evenings but some days too. Remember You are not weird and certainly not alone. You are a good person!!! Just a person that simply has anxiety. And its OK!!!!
Love and Compassion
Angla
You are not alone. I too am a Christian and if I must say a wonderful caring person. But I too have had these thoughts. What if I did this, what if I turned into a molester, etc.
I too got naked with a cousin of mine and was just tormented over it. But kids do do those things. They are curious it is normal.
I do understand these thoughts are so tormenting. You must go thru the program. Listen to your tapes. Put a stop sign up. Thoughts only Thoughts. Its just Anxiety. No Big Deal. Write this down. Repeat it over and over. Exercise, Get Distracted, Stay Busy.
Never blame yourself for what happened to your sister. This was not your fault!!! If you would like to chat online in the chat room, maybe you can catch me there sometime. Most of the time Im there in the evenings but some days too. Remember You are not weird and certainly not alone. You are a good person!!! Just a person that simply has anxiety. And its OK!!!!
Love and Compassion
Angla
Dear Nature
Sorry I had to add something. You must remember, people that have anxiety are extremely sensitive, so try to avoid the news,
dramatic shows, scary shows etc. Right now it will only make things worse. You need to fill your mind with positive things. Stay away from the negative. It will get better!!! I love the program and have been thru it for sometime. But go back to it when I feel the need. Remember we are here if you need us and the program is too.
Angla
Sorry I had to add something. You must remember, people that have anxiety are extremely sensitive, so try to avoid the news,
dramatic shows, scary shows etc. Right now it will only make things worse. You need to fill your mind with positive things. Stay away from the negative. It will get better!!! I love the program and have been thru it for sometime. But go back to it when I feel the need. Remember we are here if you need us and the program is too.
Angla
Thank you for your post. I would purchase the tapes however they are expensive and I cannot afford them right now. It had made me feel great to know that others have been through similar epxeriences and I am not alone. I do really want to get over this and I am hoping to find a therapist or someone to help me. Do you know if their are any of Lucindas tapes that can be purchased for a cheaper price?
nature,
I just read your post and then read your story in another section. I have to say that all kids including myself and many others have done these same things when we were children. Kids are curious and they really don't know any better until taught. There is NOTHING wrong with you at all. And the things with your sister IS and WAS NOT your fault at all. You can't blame yourself for others and their sins. You don't need to blame yourself for something that you had nothing to do with. All kids will do things that we see now that are wrong but they are kids and kids don't look at things sexually like we as adults do. They have a pure mind and just look at it as playing and they are curios about things and no nothing wrong with it. That is why we have parents to show us right from wrong. Don't bring this blame that is causing you anxiety on yourself now. You know that you aren't sick or that you won't turn into someone that would do these things as an adult because sick people don't feel bad for what they do they just do it and feel no remorse. It is okay you need to forgive yourself because you can't move on unitl you do. I hope this will help you. God bless you! Go to the Lord and repent for the things that you remember and then let it go because once you repent you are forgiven and only the enemy would bring this back into your mind to make you feel bad and cause you anxiety! Don't allow him to do this!
Jennifier
I just read your post and then read your story in another section. I have to say that all kids including myself and many others have done these same things when we were children. Kids are curious and they really don't know any better until taught. There is NOTHING wrong with you at all. And the things with your sister IS and WAS NOT your fault at all. You can't blame yourself for others and their sins. You don't need to blame yourself for something that you had nothing to do with. All kids will do things that we see now that are wrong but they are kids and kids don't look at things sexually like we as adults do. They have a pure mind and just look at it as playing and they are curios about things and no nothing wrong with it. That is why we have parents to show us right from wrong. Don't bring this blame that is causing you anxiety on yourself now. You know that you aren't sick or that you won't turn into someone that would do these things as an adult because sick people don't feel bad for what they do they just do it and feel no remorse. It is okay you need to forgive yourself because you can't move on unitl you do. I hope this will help you. God bless you! Go to the Lord and repent for the things that you remember and then let it go because once you repent you are forgiven and only the enemy would bring this back into your mind to make you feel bad and cause you anxiety! Don't allow him to do this!
Jennifier
quote:
I remember getting into trouble and my mom telling me that I instigated everything.
This sounds like a Stronghold, (something said to you, when you were growing up, that cut you off from a part of you that was deemed, undesirable) We all grow up with this in some way, Grown ups, say things, they don't realize what it does to the child, who is searching for acceptance. 2 books "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die" and "Battle Field of the Mind" were great help to me. in the tearing down of the strongholds in my mind, that made me reject parts of me. I was told when I learned Therapeutic Touch, that children, are told things like this and they put away that offending part of them similar to a shard of broken glass, and they never allow that feeling to get them in trouble again, and as we get older, these little girls in side of us wants to be accepted, so she come to the surface, in the form of acting out, or emotional, even in dreams. We must accept her and love her, back in to our selves to "Become whole" just as Jesus accepts us just as we are we must accept ourselves every part of us, even the parts that Mom scolded. I was told to picture that little girl, being accused of being wrong, after all she was just a curious, child doing what all children do, but by shaming you about it, your mother, made it a stronghold, something you have decided would never happen again. that has scared over and hardened, and festered under the scab, untill it has bubbled up to the surface, and is haunting you.
I too had a few of these, it took a while, this course talks about practicing compassion for your self! picture that little girl, as your little girl, bring her to you, talk to her as you would have if she were your darling child, whom you love more than anything in the world. just as Jesus does you. Think about W.W.J.D. "suffer the little children to come un to me" remember the adulteries, did Jesus shame her? make her feel dirty, and guilty? You see that is what happened to you but you were not forgiven, so that part of you has been hiding, out and crying all these years, and now she wants forgiven, you have asked humans for forgiveness, but they are not the one that scares you the most, God is, go to Him, ask Him for forgiveness, in Jesus name, you can go before him boldly, and receive his Grace His unconditional Love, our ways are not His ways, and it makes it hard to realize, but the truth is you must know Who's You are. and that God doesn't make mistakes, that He did make you, "He knitted you together in your mothers womb, perfect and without blemish" then you were raised by people who didn't know what they were doing. Raising children is not easy, God had 2 and they wrecked the Garden. it is a difficult job, but that is why Jesus died, to impart to us, the Grace of God. His mercy, and his unconditional Love. "He is faithful to forgive your sins, and cast them as far as the East is from the West." but forgiving yourself, after you were shamed, that is hard. Kane couldn't do it. his pride got in his way. as a Christian, you know all the stories in the Bible are there to show us, we can't hid from God, and we don't need to. even though we may have had parents that were not Godly, God is Godly, he is not looking to hurt us but 'His plan for us is "to prosper us and not to harm us"
I look at it this way we are born of woman, and messed up by the world as men run it, for the first part of our lives, then we realize we have sinned, and we come to God and ask for His forgiveness, and we spend the last part of our lives, following God's leadings to put us back together, and be ourselves the person God made us to be. so pick up that little girl, hold her on your lap, and hold her tight untill she stops crying and accepts your love, and returns, to you. Jesus says " we must be born again to become, whole." it is a healing we all need to do for ourselves, and for our God. He made all the parts even if momma didn't like you that day, doesn't mean, you were bad, it only means mamma, didn't know what to do with that part of you, but believe me that part is an intricate part of the whole package, that makes you uniquely YOU, curious, investigative, endowed with Gods perfect gifts. God wants you to love yourself, He said "love your neighbor as you love yourself" what does the neighbor get if you hate yourself? This is a process, and this course is a great way to do it. I have come a long way, with the tools I have learned here, you can too, "What he's done for others he will do for you"
Cheri 8^) keep looking up
Everything always works out in the end, if it's not, then it's not THE END 'Never allow someone to be your Priority while allowing yourself to be their Option'. "What you are is God's gift to you and what you do with what you are is your gift to God" May Grace and Mercy be multiplied to you
I remember getting into trouble and my mom telling me that I instigated everything.
This sounds like a Stronghold, (something said to you, when you were growing up, that cut you off from a part of you that was deemed, undesirable) We all grow up with this in some way, Grown ups, say things, they don't realize what it does to the child, who is searching for acceptance. 2 books "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die" and "Battle Field of the Mind" were great help to me. in the tearing down of the strongholds in my mind, that made me reject parts of me. I was told when I learned Therapeutic Touch, that children, are told things like this and they put away that offending part of them similar to a shard of broken glass, and they never allow that feeling to get them in trouble again, and as we get older, these little girls in side of us wants to be accepted, so she come to the surface, in the form of acting out, or emotional, even in dreams. We must accept her and love her, back in to our selves to "Become whole" just as Jesus accepts us just as we are we must accept ourselves every part of us, even the parts that Mom scolded. I was told to picture that little girl, being accused of being wrong, after all she was just a curious, child doing what all children do, but by shaming you about it, your mother, made it a stronghold, something you have decided would never happen again. that has scared over and hardened, and festered under the scab, untill it has bubbled up to the surface, and is haunting you.
I too had a few of these, it took a while, this course talks about practicing compassion for your self! picture that little girl, as your little girl, bring her to you, talk to her as you would have if she were your darling child, whom you love more than anything in the world. just as Jesus does you. Think about W.W.J.D. "suffer the little children to come un to me" remember the adulteries, did Jesus shame her? make her feel dirty, and guilty? You see that is what happened to you but you were not forgiven, so that part of you has been hiding, out and crying all these years, and now she wants forgiven, you have asked humans for forgiveness, but they are not the one that scares you the most, God is, go to Him, ask Him for forgiveness, in Jesus name, you can go before him boldly, and receive his Grace His unconditional Love, our ways are not His ways, and it makes it hard to realize, but the truth is you must know Who's You are. and that God doesn't make mistakes, that He did make you, "He knitted you together in your mothers womb, perfect and without blemish" then you were raised by people who didn't know what they were doing. Raising children is not easy, God had 2 and they wrecked the Garden. it is a difficult job, but that is why Jesus died, to impart to us, the Grace of God. His mercy, and his unconditional Love. "He is faithful to forgive your sins, and cast them as far as the East is from the West." but forgiving yourself, after you were shamed, that is hard. Kane couldn't do it. his pride got in his way. as a Christian, you know all the stories in the Bible are there to show us, we can't hid from God, and we don't need to. even though we may have had parents that were not Godly, God is Godly, he is not looking to hurt us but 'His plan for us is "to prosper us and not to harm us"
I look at it this way we are born of woman, and messed up by the world as men run it, for the first part of our lives, then we realize we have sinned, and we come to God and ask for His forgiveness, and we spend the last part of our lives, following God's leadings to put us back together, and be ourselves the person God made us to be. so pick up that little girl, hold her on your lap, and hold her tight untill she stops crying and accepts your love, and returns, to you. Jesus says " we must be born again to become, whole." it is a healing we all need to do for ourselves, and for our God. He made all the parts even if momma didn't like you that day, doesn't mean, you were bad, it only means mamma, didn't know what to do with that part of you, but believe me that part is an intricate part of the whole package, that makes you uniquely YOU, curious, investigative, endowed with Gods perfect gifts. God wants you to love yourself, He said "love your neighbor as you love yourself" what does the neighbor get if you hate yourself? This is a process, and this course is a great way to do it. I have come a long way, with the tools I have learned here, you can too, "What he's done for others he will do for you"
Cheri 8^) keep looking up
Everything always works out in the end, if it's not, then it's not THE END 'Never allow someone to be your Priority while allowing yourself to be their Option'. "What you are is God's gift to you and what you do with what you are is your gift to God" May Grace and Mercy be multiplied to you
Thank you sooo much for your post. I just signed up for the online program and I am going to give that a try before I order the tapes and books. Wow, you all are so helpful, I wish I could sit in a group and poor my heart out to you, but being on this forum is the next best thing. I think I am going to keep re reading these posts from you all as affirmations that I am o.k. and that I can forgive myself. I have asked God for forgiveness daily and long ago. However I still have not forgiven myself because I truly beleive if I had I would not be obsessing about the past now. I hope this program will be able to help put a stop to resurfacing my past and allow me to be into the present..... Cheri 8 I will definatley look up those books....
Thank you
Thank you
God's grace and goodness is falling down all around us, but we can only receive it when we repent of our sins, and accept by faith the forgiveness of our sins that is offered to us through the blood of Jesus. by AnnettI am o.k. and that I can forgive myself. I have asked God for forgiveness daily and long ago. However I still have not forgiven myself
there is the key, If God said it He meant it He is not one that would lie. He said if your confess your sins, and repent, He is faithful to forgive you, and cast your sins into the sea of forgetfulness, they are erased from your page, and forgotten for eternity.
I my self, have had a hard time forgiving me, but I think about how God sacrificed his Son Jesus, to save me from my sins, and not accepting that would be a slap in His face, like that isn't enough some how, I need to be punished, so I punish my self. That is not God's way, that is the way of the World, that is how satin keeps us under his rule, negative, and down on ourselves, God reaches down, and picks us up, and we say "no thank you I am not worth it", I look at my daughter, and think how would that make me feel. God is Love He has feelings, he has done so much, and wants to do more, yet I say, "no I don't deserve your love, I am not good enough". That would break my heart, with the help of this program, I finally found compassion for me. Journaling is a wonderful key and this is a good place to journal there are so many here who have been in that valley, and we know you don't have to walk it alone, we are here (God's staff) to walk it with you. lean on us, for now, and look forward to the time when His Grace is sufficient for you. You know Peter didn't think he was worth it after the **** crowed 3 times, but when Jesus arose he told Mary to go and tell His decuples, AND PETER! we are not the first one to believe God could never forgive us, many have gone down that road before us.
You are OK and you are on your way, you will see!