how do I begin again? fell off the program, want to get back on- how?

cuttingirl · Post by **cuttingirl** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 3:21 pm

Hello everyone- I made it to week 9, then fell off- panic attacks, worse anxiety, agoraphobia, scary thoughts, more hopeless than before, etc. Do I start over with session #1 or go back to #9? What do you think? I refuse to live like this anymore- I'm either going to die or get better, and I'd rather get better!! That's my plan, in fact!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 3:55 pm

I think I never really started this program. I wish they started a session on LAZINESS because I would definetly relate. I want to start over also it's just the doing that is the hard part.

Good Luck whatever you do!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 3:57 pm

Hi,
How does that song go...."pick yourself up and start all over again"!!! Sounds like you need the beginning tapes again...don't give up...remember that you are creating these feelings and you are not going to die!!! Even if you have to force yourself go listen to Lucinda!

Here's a hug and try the relaxation tape when you go to bed. It always puts me to sleep.

Don't be afraid you will get better.

Love and Blessings

Barbara U. Cherish

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 4:06 pm

Hi Cuttingirl.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're still going through this. I think you should start from the beginning, and if you are not going to a therapist, you probably need to do that too. You need a therapist for the cutting and hurting yourself.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 4:09 pm

Yes go back to where you left off. Make sure you do the relaxation CD every day. It will help. I think that is the most important to be consistent with that in the very beginning even if you feel like you're ok one day and don't need it. While working on #9 keep putting into practice the other lessons...not meaning you have to look them over again but just what you remember or you can glance at your workbook instead of listening to the other tapes. You will get better. Even those of us who have done it over more than once have to pick ourselves up and start again so don't feel bad. You can come here for all the encouragement you need. HUGS to you.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 11:39 pm

Greetings cuttingirl,

I've found sessions 2 and 3 homework in the workbook very helpful and motivational. Everyone's right, you should start from the beginning; rebuild your foundations.

I (got really busy with school and stuff and I) stopped doing the program my second day of session 4. I kept thinking too much about the food I was eating and didn't want to 'trigger old ways.' So I took a step back to session 3 over again, and I'm feeling a lot better. I think quite highly of the session 3 homework.

Don't worry yourself too much. It happens. Somehow, even though it's been mentioned in the CDs, it's just so very possible to 'relapse' into old habits. I self-inflict, too. You're not alone. Sometimes it just feels like way too much and there's no outlet.

You're loved and thought about, as you can see from all the replies you've gotten. It's okay to start over - this program was made for you, for us, to use in the time as we see fit as long as we're following the guidance/homework/directions/etc. that are given to us.

xoxo

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:26 pm

Thank you all for the kind and extremely helpful replies. It's time to get started again! Somehow I feel less pressure since I've "failed" once with the program that now it's ok to just do it and not worry about it or if I might fall off or when. It also helps to know that I'm not the only one who has fallen off. I'm probably going to go ahead and use the notebook positive self talk now instead of waiting a couple of weeks.

This morning I put the intro card and session one card into my pocket for at work reference, listened to part of session one on the way to work and went to yoga which included a 15 minute relaxation as part of class. I'm about to watch the first video again. I am actually seeing a therapist plus a psychiatrist, which helps, but ironically is also often upsetting. Before bed I'm going to listen to Lucinda's soothing voice.

Thank you all again!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:03 pm

Welcome to the human race. We all make mistakes, we get lazy, burnt out, too tired, just simply for now reason at all sometimes. The good news is that it will be reinforced even more as you go back through it and remember the old saying if you at first don't succeed Try Try Again. A good friend of mine who runs a very successfull business as an electrictian had to take the State exam 5 times over several years before he passed. IT IS NOT IMPORTANT HOW MAY TIMES IT TAKES YOU TO SUCCEED. right?