hypocondriacs....READ THIS!

Primamomma · Post by **Primamomma** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:10 am

I obsess about every little thing, I worry about having a heart attack or stroke or brain anyurism or just falling over dead. I worry about something happening to me while I am home alone with my two year old son or while I am driving in the car with him. I seriously told my dh I need life alert, but he thought I was joking so I played it off as a joke. I mean it did seem weird to think, but also seemed like it might be comforting to have a button to push for someone to rescue me if I thought it was getting bad. I am totally not over any of this and even after I completed the program 9 years ago, none of that went away. I continued to obsess about my health and work to be healthier and treat myself well so that I can lessen the worry.

Carolyn Dickman · Post by **Carolyn Dickman** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:23 am

I absolutely LOVE!!!!! Cranberry's post. I think we should all read it at least once a day.

Oh, can I relate! When I started being able to control and dismiss scary thoughts I would joke with my husband if he asked how my day went, "Oh, my lung cancer was kicking up but other than that it was fine."

Now!I know some will think that was a perfectly awful thing to say...but keep in mind I watched my Dad die of lung cancer...I know the pain, the awfulness of lung cancer...my joke is about My obsessing Not about cancer.

I will take this opportunity to share with you that I've had at least 2,000 heart attacks and numerous cases of cancer in all it's forms. I know what it's like to be in agony over Nothing. Read the books that Cranberry recommends...they are great and will help.

Love and Peace to all, Carolyn

maria k · Post by **maria k** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 4:28 am

I, too, only had physical symptoms at first (headaches, nausea and hot feeling in the face- but with no fever) and refused to believe it was anxiety. I always thought something was wrong with me and it couldnt be anxiety- b/c I didnt feel "anxious". My dr. said the more upset I got about these symptoms, the more I worried and that caused more symptoms, including the shakes. It was/is a vicious cycle. So now I think it has to be anxiety- Ive been tested for everything else (and still refuse to believe sometimes. lol). But it has to be- its too coincidental. Take it from me- I worked myself up the last 4 months when this started and now realize I made it all worse. Now the shakes are starting to subside a bit and whenever I feel bad (almost every day) I try to tell myself not to worry and it will pass eventually. It absolutely is all in the way you think. Maria

Dina · Post by **Dina** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 4:42 am

Anyone get heart flutters not palpitations. It feels like your heart flip flops? This is really freaking me out! I have had heart tests all normal. They also seem to come when I am PMSing or if I havent eaten. I am real scared, sometimes they feel as though they are in the middle of my chest more than my heart. Please let me know if you have this also!

Dina · Post by **Dina** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 7:43 am

ok I just read that heart pals are the same as flutters. I dont know why I didn't know this.

TL7 · Post by **TL7** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:21 am

Thats ok... people assume they are different because people describe them different is all. Think of a heart palpitation no different than when your eye twitches from stress. Same thing...the more you dwell on it, the more it will happen, the less you think about it, the more likely it will go away

Michelle4444 · Post by **Michelle4444** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 2:31 am

What a fabulous thread!!! Thanks for starting it, this is why I ordered the program. I had a blood clot in my leg (I'm 35)and was in the hospital for a week, in Aug. I am still on cumidan and I should be coming off of it next month. But my anxiety (although I always had some, but was able to control it) was now outragous. My vacular surgeon said she was 90% sure it was because I was on the pill and traveling for long periods of time in a car. I was cool with that and left her, she said she would see me in 6 months and I had to get weekly blood tests to make sure my cumidan levels were good. So every week I had to get my blood drawn, but guess what? The waiting room was right next to the radiation,nuclear medicine waiting room. So I'm looking at all these people who have cancer (my biggest fear) waiting for their treatments!! I hated it!

So then I'm at work and I decided to go on WEB MD to look at blood clots...WHAT A MISTAKE!!! (I totally agree with Cranberry) it mentioned Factor 5 (which is fine and controllable) BUT THEN IT MENTIONED CANCER!!! I wigged out. Then it became all about my health, I was sure I was dying. And the thing is they can't get a "clean" blood draw on me until at the earliest next month. So think of living with the thought that you could have cancer for 6 months! I changed, my personality changed and I thought it was over.

I called my GP after having an anxiety attack in my office and asked her what's the worst it could be and she said LUPUS OR LUKEMIA!! I had another attack right there on the phone with her! She assured me I didn't have either becuase I don't have any symptoms but they had to rule it out.

I called back my vasular surgeon and told her my worries. She told me she sees literally hundreds of blood clots every year and she said as far as cancer goes "it's highly unlikely" I'll take "highly unlikely!" I'm sort of pissed at my gp for telling me all these things, especially when she knows I'm very sensitive, she perscribed me my Xanex.

I was to a point where I was sure I had a brain tumor at every headace, MS when my left arm tingled, and even knee cancer I don't know what that is but I had a bump in the back of my knee that the DR. had to ultrasound to make sure it wansn't another clot (it wasn't). Last week I was driving to work and saw a billboard for mouth cancer! I don't even know what that is, but my tounge started to scan my mouth for it! It took me about a half a day and I remember to "underreact." And I was fine. My mom jokes with me now, she calls me and asks about my Lukemia and my MS, and asks me if I've developed any new cronic illnesses over night.

Since I got the program, I'm in week 4 my life has changed, that positive thinking one is a tough one to get through but once I got through it my little negative voices are nearly gone!

I still have to get my clean bill of health next month, I now don't believe I have any cancer, I believe if anything it might be that Factor 5 thing, but hey, no big deal, it's not life threating and you live a normal life with it.

I'm still nervous about that whole waiting for results, I feel like if i'm overconfident that i don't have anything that I'm jinxing myself, although now I know it's called magical thinking.

So my advice is STAY OFF THE MEDICAL WEBSITES!!

Sorry this was so long, it just feels great to vent.

Rene98 · Post by **Rene98** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:37 am

Cranberry I just realized you are brilliant!

Rene98 · Post by **Rene98** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:17 am

Then don't miss the survivors thread in the humor forum, just have your orthopedic shoes ready lol

Michelle4444 · Post by **Michelle4444** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:54 am

I think I'm going to buy that book, thanks Cranberry!