Well, I've been dreading this day for about five days now. I can honestly say I came to a peaceful place about it last night, but I was still nervous to see my coworker this morning.
So far, it's been pretty normal. I'd say it's been about 90 percent normal. It's not ANYWHERE close to what I was expecting...
While I feel that I should feel relieved that this situation isn't going to be as bad as I thought...I keep waiting for it to get worse.
I think I might be making my own crisis and I would like to put this issue down and walk away. Sounds silly, but all I can think is, "Is it safe to come out?"
Comments?
Through the Wall
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Guest
Hi,
I know I'm not in your position, but I'm just curious to what you are specifically afraid of when you think it will get worse. What is the worst thing that could happen in your mind? Is it that you will act upon your feelings for him and have an affair? Is it that you will feel really bad anxiety? What is it that is your worst fear about this situation, and maybe I can help talk to you about your specific fears.
I guess I just look at your situation, and see you thinking "Is it safe to come out?", and I'm just wondering why you have to rearrange your life because a married man inappropriately expressed his feelings for you. Please read the book "Boundaries", and look into that issue. You spend so much of your life at work that you just shouldn't have to live it in fear, you know?
I don't know what you are taught as a child, but a lot of us weren't taught good boundaries. Just because this man came on to you, doesn't mean that you have to give him what he wants. You are an adult, and it looks like you made a great decision for yourself when you told him that you weren't interested. I wish that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable for his "bad" behavior.
Anyway, I don't know if any of this helps or not, but maybe if I can know your specific fears, maybe I can help you more.
Take care, and you're doing great to say "No" and go back to work:)!
I know I'm not in your position, but I'm just curious to what you are specifically afraid of when you think it will get worse. What is the worst thing that could happen in your mind? Is it that you will act upon your feelings for him and have an affair? Is it that you will feel really bad anxiety? What is it that is your worst fear about this situation, and maybe I can help talk to you about your specific fears.
I guess I just look at your situation, and see you thinking "Is it safe to come out?", and I'm just wondering why you have to rearrange your life because a married man inappropriately expressed his feelings for you. Please read the book "Boundaries", and look into that issue. You spend so much of your life at work that you just shouldn't have to live it in fear, you know?
I don't know what you are taught as a child, but a lot of us weren't taught good boundaries. Just because this man came on to you, doesn't mean that you have to give him what he wants. You are an adult, and it looks like you made a great decision for yourself when you told him that you weren't interested. I wish that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable for his "bad" behavior.
Anyway, I don't know if any of this helps or not, but maybe if I can know your specific fears, maybe I can help you more.
Take care, and you're doing great to say "No" and go back to work:)!