Friends?

michelle28 · Post by **michelle28** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:25 pm

Does anyone else here have a hard time making and keeping friends? Due to the fact that I have anxiety, depression and OCD, (among other things), it's hard for me to relate to what I call "normal" people. I'm quiet, probably because I feel like I'm going to say something stupid so I tend to come across as stuck-up. When I do open my mouth I feel like people just don't understand my personality or am I just being paranoid? Friends I do have just don't get my sensitivity and other wierd personality traits. I hope I'm not the ony one that feels like this!

BronzeStar45 · Post by **BronzeStar45** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:16 pm

Don't worry, I definetly feel like that. I have the same symptoms and I am always afraid of people looking at me weird or Im saying something wrong, I usually end up pushing my friends away so they dont have time to judge me.

awestphal · Post by **awestphal** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:20 pm

I also feel the same way. I have not had a good friend for years. I always push people away. It sure does get lonley. I'm going to try working on it once I start getting further along in the program. This is my time to feel better before I can start feeling like I can be a good friend.

stephyannette · Post by **stephyannette** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:15 pm

That is me in a nutshell.

smotz · Post by **smotz** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:38 pm

Hey Michelle, Don't worry because I have a story for you to think about. I have had anxiety, depression and severe OCD for years. I am in sales and have made (who I though) were alot of friends. I hurt my back 3 years ago and have been kinda distant to everyone. Most of them hand in there until I decided to have back surgery on March 4th. I am finding out the hard way who were actual friends, and who were in it just to take advantage of me, get something for free, ask to borrow something then have me drive it 100 miles to a jobsite because it was supposed to be an emergency, then have to beg over the next 6 months to try to get the item back. I am looking at it this way. I am taking 2008 to get fit physically and mentally, and whoever is left around and being supportive of me I will consider true friends. Those that have disappeared, got upset because I couldn't get out of bed because of the surgery and couldn't understand what I was going through, these I will consider to not be friends. People who know me know that I will do anything at anytime for them, they also know that I have been pretty messed up for about 3 years and when they found out that I was going to get help, they pitched in and offered their assistance no matter what it was. These are true friends. I may have started with 30 and may end up with 6, but I will take 6 great friends over 30 users any day of the week. I am very upset at a couple of people who I thought were my true friends that turned out to be flops. I have been lying in bed since Jan. 1st and no calls, texts, emails, or knocks on the door, and when they were sick, I was bringing them Starbucks to show them that I am here for you. Don't get discouraged, there are billions of people in the world and you will find friends, you have friends here that would go the distance for you. So relax, get better and just watch what happens...Craig in Denver

delmar · Post by **delmar** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:13 pm

Hi y'all it's been a long time sence i've posted in here but this one cought my eye as i was running threw tonight. I have a friend that is always telling my that my health is my wealth and he is so right, for with out what ever health i might have if i don't takecare of it i won't even be able to do what i can do today let alone what comes along tomarrow. I too have been down the road of having friends and then poor health hit and finding out i only had two friends and one was my best friend my wife. Something that my wife and i did that helped us so much was humor, being able to laugh at ourselves and at our bad luck or poor health ect. Turning the neg around for just a few minutes was a big help. You cann do this with your lack of friends as well for example imagen those who have hurt you with a silly mask on infront of a crowd of coworkers or such. Nothing that is tearing them down or causing harm but that helps to put a smile on your face even if it is for just a few minutes, those few minutes will help you feel so much better. Anyway just a couple of things that worked for me with out writing a even longer book ..lol I don't know if it makes sence to anyone else or not but there it is. Good luck and pass those smiles around.
Del

samstone · Post by **samstone** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:31 pm

I know what your talking about.I remember the first time someone actually told me I was too stuck up I was shocked.I thought so low of myself and they thought I was stuck up?Someone has to appear to be really something to be stuck up.I took it as a compliment.lol...I dont have alot of friends because it is so hard for me to make them but I do have a couple of very close ones and its hard sometimes because they dont understand alot about me.they lack compassion,sensativity,and understanding in some areas but thats o.k.I guess they cant help it.the bible says that with much Knowledge and much wisdom will be much sorrow and much grief.Sometimes we have to go through the sorrow and grief to gain the knowledge and wisdom which allows us to have comppassion and to know how to offer help to others.And to just let them know that we understand.Then others just live in an ignorant bliss and can offer no understanding and we must love them anyhow.

Christian73 · Post by **Christian73** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 1:42 am

I think it's difficult to form friendships with people who don't "get" what we're going through. On top of which, work consumes so much of my time that I don't do activities anymore where I might meet new friends.

Prv31Mom · Post by **Prv31Mom** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:00 am

I can totally be a "surface" friend with a lot of people - especially at work, but true friends are few and far between...like 1 or 2. I attribute a lot of that to my personality - I am always thinking that I know best and though I don't say it to my "friends" - it affects the way I perceive them. Also - I am ultra-sensitive to anything they do or say...sometimes it's just easier to stay by myself or with my family...they have seen me at my best and worst and haven't left yet!

Best,
Dawn

happy2b · Post by **happy2b** » Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:56 am

I know how you feel, I used to have a " BEST " friend, who as years gone by, realize is not my best friend at all. I'M HER FRIEND WHEN SHE HAS NEEDED ONE. My husband would point this out to me, but both of us ( my friend ) suffer from anxiety and depression, so I needed her to talk to, at least I thought I did. Over the last few months, we hardly ever see one another or talk, and it really bothers me. I have felt extremely lonely, even though I have other friends, but I can't talk with them, because I don't feel close enough. They are not that kind of friend. Maybe we feel that we can't trust them. I have many older sisters, who I could talk to, but I feel weak talking about things to them because in the past, they kind of made a joke of me being " nervous ". No one really knows the real me except my husband. I hide my feelings as much as I can even from my children. Most people think I have it together, but I always fear being alone. I wish I could have closer friends too. Maybe someone out there knows the answer.