porn

"Combatting Stress & Depression" Program participant's may post support questions here
Boon
Posts: 202
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:42 pm

Post by Boon » Wed Mar 19, 2008 2:36 am

We talked about porn in my psychology class once and the research was showing that some men who get into watching too much porn end up having higher standards for their wife/girlfriend. They see these beautiful women pleasing the male and they expect their partner to be and do just like them. Results from the study showed that love life and marriages were strained.

I don't personally care for porn, but to each their own I guess. As long as your marriage and love life is doing alright, maybe it isn't a huge issue for him to watch it once in a while.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold

jess23
Posts: 60
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 2:54 pm

Post by jess23 » Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:30 am

I think it's true that it can screw up people's minds, but not just men.
Women make up a portion of the buyers to, just a much smaller one.
There's a big problem with it, but in the end, it comes down to each
individual involved from the smut-king media lords all the way
down to the individual buyer.

Yeah, I think it's down to the individual. But then again, I'm not
ultra religious. I believe if people like something, they should be
able to enjoy it as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.
"life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you react to it."

Guest

Post by Guest » Sat Mar 22, 2008 8:43 pm

Viewing pornography breaks up thousands of marriages, ruining the lives of thousands of adults and children every year. Not to mention the effect it has on sex related crimes. It also hurts the soul of the individual viewing it and their loved ones. I don't like it either, jessica. Viewing porn can only lead to sorrow.

Guest

Post by Guest » Sun Mar 23, 2008 2:34 am

I think, if a couple is in agreement about any such material & BOTH ARE FINE W/ IT - then, that is alright - its their choice. What goes on behind closed doors is their business. However, if such material is used in replacement or substitution of relations w/ the spouse - THEN YOU HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS. If it is done in a SECRETATIVE manner - I would be suspicious. There are all sorts of studies done about parties(male or female) who view these things in EXTREME/EXCESS.

I know, men will be men in that they will always look - that is the species. The same about women as well(don't deny it ladies): we ladies see an attractive man & we notice him - on the streets, a tv show, or an ad, etc - it doesn't mean we're gonna cheat or anything - it means we're HUMAN. Being human doesn't cease because we're in a committed or married relationship.

Now, in terms of PORN or MEN'S MAGAZINES, etc in my house - HELL NO. My thing is this: I want respect - I don't like them & I will not have them in my house. Nor will I allow them in my house. Years ago, I remember telling my husband when we were dating - we were have a general conversation about men & women stuff - I told him, "listen, I know you're a man & there will be other women you see that are attractive - do NOT do it in front of me - respect me & don't."

I am not making excuses, I just think its the nature of the beast(not being a man hater here, lol - HONEST) - I think a lge majority of men & some women like that. I've also heard of a lot of stories where these materials were used in excess & that excess altered their behavior & them & not in the healthiest way either. To each his own. IF BOTH ARE IN AGREEMENT - THAN THAT IS FINE - HOWEVER, IF THE 1 IS DOING IT INSPITE OF THE OTHER'S DISLIKE - THAT IS SELFISH & DISRESPECTFUL.

LENORE

Guest

Post by Guest » Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:36 am

Good Morning World and all on this board!
He Lives! Christ Jesus lives today!
He walks with me and talks with me.......
Ask me how I know he lives....He lives in my heart!

I am packed and ready to do what I wasn't able to do last night. But while I wait what seems like forever on these FMS meds to work so I can move without too much pain-the meds never get it all gone-I just wanted to say HI-and Happy Easter!
PRV31Mom Thank you for your support and *D* too. I was just way to tired last night to check back. God Bless everyone here and everyone here get ready to accept his Blessings!

I am with PRV 31 Mom and Lenore on the porn issue. It can be very damaging to the looker and all around he/she. It is an imaginary world-and sometimes people have a hard time separating it from real life. I thank God my late H let all that stuff go when we got married.He was a biker-now I tell it-for yrs. That is how we met-through my brother who owns a really popular biker-Harley Davidson-shop in our hometown. I went to sev rallies before my H and I got together-where we were "just friends" and I saw how he could behave-or how the Canadian Mist etc. would make him act! He even hosted an annual Harley Rally named after him for 6 yrs. on the 136 acres of land he inherited. The last rally we had over a 1000 paid at the gate-with all that prob got in w/out paying we had well over 1000.
Now if any of you know anything about what goes on at Harley Rallies you know that eventually being married and later having a baby we had to stop it. I was flipped out one day as I saw a line of bikes ready to pull out to go riding and NONE of the women had their shirts on! We lived on a dead-end road and they could ride a pretty good distance w/out helmets and in this case clothes! We had the rally video taped-I unfortunately kept one of the tapes for prosperity?! ohhhhhhhhh LOL Well, yrs. later who would find that tape as we were moving after my H died-MY 9-10 yr old son! And he watched it! and then asked me about it! We were busted! OH Mamma the hang man is comin! Because of our location my son regularly sees one of the women who at the beginning of the tape raises her shirt for the video! He sees her alot in town etc. I never did raise my shirt-one of the few-in all the yrs we were having and going to rallies. I was so glad to be able to tell my son that.
After we were married all those people-100s of them-some from as far away as SD- never had a clue that on the 1st day of the rally I had our pastor in our living room praying for their safety(and ours) and their souls. We never had one "bad" incident-except a bike being set on fire by rivals. I stopped the selling of KKK material on the property-oh yeah I had enemies! But, I had a conscioussp? I would have stopped the wet t-shirt contest but we made a joint decision to end the rally on our land. We re-dedicated our lives to the Lord and
We did lead some of the local bikers we were closest to- to the Lord! Just by example.
We started selling a little of the land-we called it Heritage Cove. It was much later that the money from selling the land was there for my H was dx'd with RA and it was well advanced by the time we got to the right Dr.
I ALWAYS right a novel on here-I do write columns for our newspaper here some and I know how to shorten info-but not on here!
Jessica, if the material is causing you to have bad feelings start praying for your H and his stuff. Everytime you think about it. Keep it to yourself-the praying-in the meantime you being a woman-will know and can pick times when you can maybe not too harshly let him know you don't like it and why. But, keep praying for him and pray for the ones in the books-videos-etc. too. I have a feeling you are going to come out of this one-the winner!
God Bless Jessica and her Husband with so much love for each other that they don't ever need anything else for their happiness!
Amen!
PS James Dobson is a great marriage counselor-his books-not real expensive are at all the major book stores and online-Type in Focus on the Family.org It is chocked full of good stuff-info on everything and how Dobson views it.

Dobson says, the most successful marriages are the ones where both husband and wife seek to build the self esteem of the other!
From his book Straight Talk To Men and Their Wives

Guest

Post by Guest » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:14 am

my thought onthis is i think that its immoral..i have seen many lives ruined and marriages as well. i used to watch it alot and it causes a person to think and o things they would not normally do..
after i rediticated my left to Christ i did not do that anymore. where does the money go and look at the young girls whoes lives have been ruined by it..and the drugs and other things. that is just my nickelsworth and i can not understand some say well if it does not bother anyone else then its ok. well i gues if someone smokes dope or gets drunl and they do not bother anyone else its ok too..i put my dimes worth in lol..take care and hope this helps you a little..still kickin i love the way that you write..be blessed
don

Diann Siracusa
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2008 12:29 pm

Post by Diann Siracusa » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:15 am

I'd like to make an add'l opinion if I may - well, lol I'm going to voice my opinion anyway, lol lol :D ;)

I so do believe everyone has the right to do as they wish w/ their lives - that includes MEANS OF EMPLOYMENT. However, for those who work directly in the PORN BUSINESS = particularly "THE STARS" - I find it uterally sad on their parts. Why? Well, because they've put a price on their bodies - a price on their self respect/dignity - kind of like saying "I CAN BE BOUGHT". Now, before I can pounced on(I've been around StressCenter.com long enough to know, hahahah)- I am not necessarily A NUN - W/ that said - My body belongs to no one BUT ME - My body is a temple for which I honor & respect it - My body is a gift I chose to share/give MY HUSBAND - there are no conditions on this. I will never ever understand the mindset "well my body is mine - but if you pay me $1,000(or however much porn stars make)it can be yours too". That I will never understand. Then again, I can't make sense of something that doesn't make sense to me.

Anyway you put it - those that star in these PORN MOVIES more or less SOLD THEIR SOULS TO THE DEVIL - because they've put a price on themselves & their dignity & Pride & self respect - they are willing to give out their body @ a cost. Well, my body is mine & will remain mine & I DEFINITELY CAN'T BE BOUGHT.

LENORE
Diann Siracusa

Jenni15
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:48 am

Post by Jenni15 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 11:48 am

It's pretty obvious that I'm with Cam Cam on this one. I don't want to be too confrontational on an anxiety board, but there's a lot of misinformation being spread here. I consider myself a Catholic but a modern one. That means, I have to use my intellect to figure out what rules still apply and are useful in a society that has grown and evolved over 2000 years.

Can porn be harmful or used to harm? Sure. But in nearly all of those cases there's a predisposition to that kind of behavior. I.e. the porn is more of a symptom, not a cause of behavior. Similarly, a gun can be used to protect or it can be used for murder or a Twinkie can be an occasional treat or a box of Twinkies can be dinner. And with American leading in obesity (and it's attendant diseases and increased mortality) among Western countries, it's causing way more damage than porn.

Finally, I respect everyone's personal and religious faith. But I would do a little digging on James Dobson before trusting his word. In short, the man's a monster who has used his pulpit to urge discrimination (and sometimes violence) against gays and women. He advocates very "traditional" (re: oppressive) roles fo women and invasive (not to mention ineffectual) conversion therapy for young kids whose parents suspect may grow up to be gay. This is not someone who I'd want weighing in on my marriage.

Don57
Posts: 114
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2002 2:00 am

Post by Don57 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 12:52 pm

At one time I was very involved in the church. Most religions teach about what they consider immoral, etc. This topic is obviously a hot button for a lot of people on both sides.

If consenting adults wish to watch other consenting adults do whatever, that really is a private decision. Obviously there are boundaries....if it involves minors or violence or abuse of any kind, then there's a problem.

The bigger question, really, is why? Is this enhancing your intimacy or replacing it? But, most importantly, is that you both feel comfortable. It really is a relationship issue, not a moral question.

Men and women are wired differently. Generally (and I mean very generally), men are more visually stimulated and women tend to be more stimulated by everything else that surrounds "the act" so it's not uncommon for women not to understand why a boyfriend/husband would want to watch another woman when he is supposed to love you. But it really isn't about that. In fact, it can be very separate.

If he isn't neglecting you (intimately), then it's not a problem. That doesn't mean you have to like it or force yourself to watch it. Maybe this is one of those areas where you just agree to disagree. Just ask that he doesn't do it around you.

But I wouldn't get caught up in some of these posts suggesting that it leads to violence against other women or children. That's a complete separate problem the goes a lot deeper than porn.

Just because an alcoholic cannot drink doesn't mean the rest of the population who chooses to have a beer now and then will turn into an alcoholic.

Much peach.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger, the smarter, the faster hand; But sooner or later the person who wins is the one who thinks "I can." Author Unknown

http://dp19032k9.webs.com

Guest

Post by Guest » Sun Mar 23, 2008 1:52 pm

Ok, I don't care what anyone thinks period!!! What are we discussing here....porn? This is absolutely ludicrous that the StressCenter.com is even allowing this stupid thread/post! Be done with it and stop bickering and creating even more anxiety for everyone. There is different chat rooms for this or just call a friend, let's talk about how we can help eachother not post threads on porn. Chief

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