I hope I don't scare anyone here but I just found out that my old neighbors,who were friends of my parents, and had four beautiful children, died last night.
He happened to shoot her and then himself. It is an awful awful story and again I do not want to scare anyone here. But scary thoughts were always my fear and now this happens and it is soooooo terrifying.
I have been doing so well lately with handling my scary thoughts and anxiety in general but this has definitely sparked some fear and anxiety.
I just would love some encouragement and supprt and prayers for these children that were left with no parents.
God bless them!!!
Lisa
Tragedy hits too close to home.
Lisa-
Those children are in my prayers. Please remember that what you have going on is not the same as whatever caused this man to take his wife and his own life. It was a very selfish act on his part and that is not the kind of person you are! You worry about your scarry thoughts because they repulse you so much. I doubt this man ever once worried what he was doing or he would not have left his children without a mother. The same thing happened to my Aunt and my cousin watched as her mom was killed. People like this have a completely different problem. They don't have concern for others, even their own children. Please focus on how you can be there for those children with prayers, cards, etc... They will need all the love and support they can get! You are all in my prayers.
Jenn
Those children are in my prayers. Please remember that what you have going on is not the same as whatever caused this man to take his wife and his own life. It was a very selfish act on his part and that is not the kind of person you are! You worry about your scarry thoughts because they repulse you so much. I doubt this man ever once worried what he was doing or he would not have left his children without a mother. The same thing happened to my Aunt and my cousin watched as her mom was killed. People like this have a completely different problem. They don't have concern for others, even their own children. Please focus on how you can be there for those children with prayers, cards, etc... They will need all the love and support they can get! You are all in my prayers.
Jenn
-
Guest
Wow...that is so tragic, I don't know that I even have words strong enough to express the sympathy I feel for the family.
I remember I went through a serious funk after 9/11. That's when my anxiety kicked back in and I hadn't had it for years. I felt so "out of control" because I felt I couldn't protect my own children from terrorism. Then, I felt so stupid that I was obsessing over it but I couldn't stop.
It was the first time I had ever seen a therapist and he told me that it was okay to be afraid. And how what had happened put a lot of people in fear. He told me to allow myself the "freedom" to feel scared.
As weird as that sounds, I found comfort in that. A lot of us that struggle with anxiety are in fear and reacting fearfully in situations that aren't threatening, i.e., driving, flying, crowded places. But when something horrible happens, it IS a reason to feel the way you feel. Yours wasn't a situation that you saw on T.V. or read in the paper that you obssessed on. Yours happened, as you said, so close to home.
My opinion is that you allow yourself the freedom to feel for that situation. Using this program, you'll know when to let the fear go. It might be today, tomorrow or next week but you will continue to learn how to put it away. I wouldn't add stress to your situation by fighting how you feel.
This is an opportunity to practice what we've been learning and to see what works and what doesn't work for you. Good luck.
I remember I went through a serious funk after 9/11. That's when my anxiety kicked back in and I hadn't had it for years. I felt so "out of control" because I felt I couldn't protect my own children from terrorism. Then, I felt so stupid that I was obsessing over it but I couldn't stop.
It was the first time I had ever seen a therapist and he told me that it was okay to be afraid. And how what had happened put a lot of people in fear. He told me to allow myself the "freedom" to feel scared.
As weird as that sounds, I found comfort in that. A lot of us that struggle with anxiety are in fear and reacting fearfully in situations that aren't threatening, i.e., driving, flying, crowded places. But when something horrible happens, it IS a reason to feel the way you feel. Yours wasn't a situation that you saw on T.V. or read in the paper that you obssessed on. Yours happened, as you said, so close to home.
My opinion is that you allow yourself the freedom to feel for that situation. Using this program, you'll know when to let the fear go. It might be today, tomorrow or next week but you will continue to learn how to put it away. I wouldn't add stress to your situation by fighting how you feel.
This is an opportunity to practice what we've been learning and to see what works and what doesn't work for you. Good luck.
-
Guest
Thank you for your quick replies.
As a background- I've finished the program a year and a half ago and I ma on lesson 9 now for s second time around...
I have really been doing tremendously well with not reacting to new storied, scary movies, or overrelating to anything like that, like I USED to.
I've felt a HUGE difference so far and letely and it feels wonderful. For the first time I don't feel like I have to tell someone all my fears and know that no matter what, I will be OK and that I am capable of taking care and REASSURING myself and not needing to rely on someone else.
However, since this has happened I keep thinking, How and why did this happen? I keep playing what I can imagine in my head and it is frightening. I have however been saying that it is extremely normal to feel this way..
I pray for those kids too!!
god bless them.
As a background- I've finished the program a year and a half ago and I ma on lesson 9 now for s second time around...
I have really been doing tremendously well with not reacting to new storied, scary movies, or overrelating to anything like that, like I USED to.
I've felt a HUGE difference so far and letely and it feels wonderful. For the first time I don't feel like I have to tell someone all my fears and know that no matter what, I will be OK and that I am capable of taking care and REASSURING myself and not needing to rely on someone else.
However, since this has happened I keep thinking, How and why did this happen? I keep playing what I can imagine in my head and it is frightening. I have however been saying that it is extremely normal to feel this way..
I pray for those kids too!!
god bless them.
-
Guest
Are you a mom? If not, you'll make a great one someday - or aunt or older cousin. You sound like you have a very caring spririt.
I have found that a lot of us who struggle with anxiety like to know the "who, what, where, when, how and especially WHY" of situations.
I have often said, if I could get in the ****pit of an airplane and fly it then I would feel better about flying. LOL. Everyone else would be scared to death, but I'd feel better.
I have found that a lot of us who struggle with anxiety like to know the "who, what, where, when, how and especially WHY" of situations.
I have often said, if I could get in the ****pit of an airplane and fly it then I would feel better about flying. LOL. Everyone else would be scared to death, but I'd feel better.
-
Guest
Many of us I think try to put ourselves in these people minds and wonder how the heck can this happen, what were they thinking, how could they do this, etc. I know I have tried to put myself in these peoples places.
Last summer after my anxiety went full boar, we had two people kill themselves in my town. We did not really know them, but they were known in town and the topic was hot. I was like, how could they? Then I thought, can it get that bad??
I never did it, but sometimes I thought if I had died (since I always thought I was going to anyway) it would be easier, but for who? My 6 yr old son who starts T-Ball in two wks? For my 33 yr old wife or 22 month old son??
So, here I am. Chugging along, being positive.
This is a horrible tragedy and one that will most likely never be explained. Selfish to take your own life, but to take your loved one down with you and then yourself is cowardice! (IMHO)
Last summer after my anxiety went full boar, we had two people kill themselves in my town. We did not really know them, but they were known in town and the topic was hot. I was like, how could they? Then I thought, can it get that bad??
I never did it, but sometimes I thought if I had died (since I always thought I was going to anyway) it would be easier, but for who? My 6 yr old son who starts T-Ball in two wks? For my 33 yr old wife or 22 month old son??
So, here I am. Chugging along, being positive.
This is a horrible tragedy and one that will most likely never be explained. Selfish to take your own life, but to take your loved one down with you and then yourself is cowardice! (IMHO)
-
Guest
-
Carolyn Dickman
- Posts: 264
- Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2005 3:00 am
Dear LISA:
I so understand you. I had PTSD fr 9/11. I was there that day - had just gotten on a train in the WTC & it started to decend into the tunnel - when the 1st plane hit. We didnt know what was going on. I got off 2 sm stops later at my job & came out to all things that day encompassed. 2 wks later I was able to return to work. There were sights, sounds, smells of things that I could never describe. I didn't realize just how much it bothered me until I stopped working in nyc. What made it really frightening for me is I used to work in the WTC - 2 wtc 81st flr: right where the 1st plane hit(if I recall right, not sure though, lol). I worked in the WTC in 1993, when these same fanatics bombed it & I was at work that day. So, 9/11 had me thinking & feeling all sorts of things.
First, I'd like to tell you what that neighbor did was beyond anxiety disorder. That is not you & won't be you. Remember the program - the fact it scares you so - tells you something. 2nd, as KITKAT said, allow yourself to be afraid/upset & whatever respective emotion this unfortunate even created in you - of course you're feeling these things - that is a normal & healthy human reaction - don't be afraid of it, don't run fr it, allow yourself the RIGHT to feel what you are. 3rd, again as KITKAT said (WISE WOMAN
)utilize the program & the skills it has taught you - you have them now inside of you. You will know when you are ready to let go of it. 4th, surround yourself w/ some really cool & positive friends, for your soul & spirit, so the emotions of this event don't envelop you.
How did I get over my fear w/ 9/11 - I faced it. I allowed itself to play itself out. Little by little I was able to see pictures, then newsprograms, etc. Finally, I got very angry. They instilled a level of fear in me I had never known. I felt, I was letting them win by allowing myself & my life to become so restricted even several yrs after 9/11. I haven't flown since 9/11 - so, I told hubby this yr - "ok, I am ready to fly = to live". The same will happen to you as well.
My prayers are w/ the children & their extended families.
LENORE
I so understand you. I had PTSD fr 9/11. I was there that day - had just gotten on a train in the WTC & it started to decend into the tunnel - when the 1st plane hit. We didnt know what was going on. I got off 2 sm stops later at my job & came out to all things that day encompassed. 2 wks later I was able to return to work. There were sights, sounds, smells of things that I could never describe. I didn't realize just how much it bothered me until I stopped working in nyc. What made it really frightening for me is I used to work in the WTC - 2 wtc 81st flr: right where the 1st plane hit(if I recall right, not sure though, lol). I worked in the WTC in 1993, when these same fanatics bombed it & I was at work that day. So, 9/11 had me thinking & feeling all sorts of things.
First, I'd like to tell you what that neighbor did was beyond anxiety disorder. That is not you & won't be you. Remember the program - the fact it scares you so - tells you something. 2nd, as KITKAT said, allow yourself to be afraid/upset & whatever respective emotion this unfortunate even created in you - of course you're feeling these things - that is a normal & healthy human reaction - don't be afraid of it, don't run fr it, allow yourself the RIGHT to feel what you are. 3rd, again as KITKAT said (WISE WOMAN
)utilize the program & the skills it has taught you - you have them now inside of you. You will know when you are ready to let go of it. 4th, surround yourself w/ some really cool & positive friends, for your soul & spirit, so the emotions of this event don't envelop you.How did I get over my fear w/ 9/11 - I faced it. I allowed itself to play itself out. Little by little I was able to see pictures, then newsprograms, etc. Finally, I got very angry. They instilled a level of fear in me I had never known. I felt, I was letting them win by allowing myself & my life to become so restricted even several yrs after 9/11. I haven't flown since 9/11 - so, I told hubby this yr - "ok, I am ready to fly = to live". The same will happen to you as well.
My prayers are w/ the children & their extended families.
LENORE
-
Guest
Thank you all for your kind words, sympathy, and prayers for this family.
I just said a hail mary and an our father for each and every one of them.
I am not a very religious person but I do pray and believe in God. I know that she is in a better place but again I just feel for those wondrful children. Thankfully they have family that loves them and will take care fo them.
As for my scary thoguths and things. It all seems so petty now since this happened. Yes it still makes me think, Why and How and WHY??
But not like it used to.
I know who I am, a loving, sensitive, caring human being and hearing stories like this breaks my heart because I just can't fathom anything like that..
That is a CLEAR sign and indication that I would never act on something like that or hurting myself or anything...
I love life and I know that life is precious and we need to take every moment and live it as if it were our last.
Those petty things mean NOTHING>> SO do those SILLY SCARY THOUGHTS that anyone here may be suffering from.
There are people out there suffering from those types of things, to owrry about imagines scenerious seems absolutely idioc...
Lisa
I just said a hail mary and an our father for each and every one of them.
I am not a very religious person but I do pray and believe in God. I know that she is in a better place but again I just feel for those wondrful children. Thankfully they have family that loves them and will take care fo them.
As for my scary thoguths and things. It all seems so petty now since this happened. Yes it still makes me think, Why and How and WHY??
But not like it used to.
I know who I am, a loving, sensitive, caring human being and hearing stories like this breaks my heart because I just can't fathom anything like that..
That is a CLEAR sign and indication that I would never act on something like that or hurting myself or anything...
I love life and I know that life is precious and we need to take every moment and live it as if it were our last.
Those petty things mean NOTHING>> SO do those SILLY SCARY THOUGHTS that anyone here may be suffering from.
There are people out there suffering from those types of things, to owrry about imagines scenerious seems absolutely idioc...
Lisa