help me
i got my cds a couple of months ago, i was too scared to start. i started on mon, march 11? i am so much worse off than if i didn't start. my life is so ruined. i can't stop crying, or thinking, i can't sleep, i call into work, or go in very upset, i can't imagine ever getting better and for the first time in my life i feel like everyone would be better off if i wasn't here. it seems as though i am more of a burden to my family and friends than a person. i really really hate myself right now. i love life, but i am so broken down, i am not living. how much more can i take. is this the right thing to tell people, you guys? are you going to find me and put me away? oh please, don't do that. i will never be able to live with that. i really need help, i pray to god to please help me, to give me strength, i am so sick of telling people that i am this panicky person. the more i listen to the cd's the more upset i get. the workbook scares me, being like this for the rest of my life terrifies me. how can i do this to my daughter and husband. how can i continue ? i've read some of the blogs where people have gone through this twice, i can't do that. i have to conquer this once, i've read that sometimes this doesn't even work, how can that be? i thought it's guaranteed to work? it scares me to think that this might not work , i have no other choices if this goes sour. also, does the top dogs in StressCenter read these blogs and get in contact with the ones that are not doing great? or are really just friends with anxiety helping friends with anxiety? i am sorry this is so long, but i really need you guys. thanks so much for listening, i am very greatful. piglet
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Guest
piglet,
change is something that is hard to do. hang in there and do what the program says. it will get easier as you go more into the program..you arecrying i think because it hit the root of your problem. do not worry it will help you more then you will ever know.please read my profile. it will fill you in on alot of things and i hope it helps and good luck and welcome to the program..you are in our thoughts and prayers and GOD BLESS.
DON
change is something that is hard to do. hang in there and do what the program says. it will get easier as you go more into the program..you arecrying i think because it hit the root of your problem. do not worry it will help you more then you will ever know.please read my profile. it will fill you in on alot of things and i hope it helps and good luck and welcome to the program..you are in our thoughts and prayers and GOD BLESS.
DON
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Guest
PIGLET,
please come to the prayer group that is on wednesday night at 10 p.m.it is a free cal and each one on there has been through the program or ging through it..you will get such a blessing from it and get strength from it as well..they pray for each other and you have to be there to experience GODS GOODNESS..do not worry how much you type..get it off your chest..you have held back too long..wewill be there for you in thoughts and prayer..remember you are someone going somewhere..i feel like telling you more but i want to hear from you first..KEEP PRAYING AND NEVER GIVE UP..
GOD BLESS..
DON
doninva23605@yahoo.com
please come to the prayer group that is on wednesday night at 10 p.m.it is a free cal and each one on there has been through the program or ging through it..you will get such a blessing from it and get strength from it as well..they pray for each other and you have to be there to experience GODS GOODNESS..do not worry how much you type..get it off your chest..you have held back too long..wewill be there for you in thoughts and prayer..remember you are someone going somewhere..i feel like telling you more but i want to hear from you first..KEEP PRAYING AND NEVER GIVE UP..
GOD BLESS..
DON
doninva23605@yahoo.com
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Guest
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Guest
PIGLET,
THE # IS 1-866-633-6958 PASS WORD 5808848
I AM GLAD THAT YOU WERE BLESSED BY WHAT I WROTE..
i did it because i felt like GOD was giving me the words to say to comfort you and to let you know that in GODS eyes we are all his children..IN HERE NO ONE PUTS YOU DOWN FOR WHAT OR WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THORUGH OR HAVE BEEN THROUGH.we life each other up and in times of trouble PRAY FOR YOU THAT GOD WILL GIVE YOU THE PEACE THAT YOU NEED...YOU ARE TOO SPECIAL A PERSON AND HAVE A GOOD FAMILY THAT LOVES YOU..TAKE CARE AND KEEP WRITING AND GOD BLESS...
DON
THE # IS 1-866-633-6958 PASS WORD 5808848
I AM GLAD THAT YOU WERE BLESSED BY WHAT I WROTE..
i did it because i felt like GOD was giving me the words to say to comfort you and to let you know that in GODS eyes we are all his children..IN HERE NO ONE PUTS YOU DOWN FOR WHAT OR WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THORUGH OR HAVE BEEN THROUGH.we life each other up and in times of trouble PRAY FOR YOU THAT GOD WILL GIVE YOU THE PEACE THAT YOU NEED...YOU ARE TOO SPECIAL A PERSON AND HAVE A GOOD FAMILY THAT LOVES YOU..TAKE CARE AND KEEP WRITING AND GOD BLESS...
DON
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Guest
Hi, I started the program 3 days ago after purchasing it months ago too. Pidlet, Sorry you feel so depressed and helpless. I go throught the same thing. Since I just started the program I'm at the same point you are but wish you good luck with it. This is a little back ground how my "journey" started, not to take away from your post. (I'm not real computer literate so am having a hard time figuring out how to start my own) yours resembled how I feel. This is the hope I have been waiting for, conversation with people that have somethinmg in common with me and a program that gives me hope. Sometimes I feel like I cant make it one more day feeling like this. A year ago last Nov. I had an "attack" in the evening while reading my grandson a story, I had an overwelming feeling of dizzyness, panic, lightedness,sweaty etc. I thought I had completely lost my mind. When I woke up the next day I still felt "starange". Went to work and ended up going home. It all went down hill from there. I was off work for 5 months(they made me resign) went through multiple tests(all negative)and was told nothing was wrong with me. Since the episode I have this strange feeling all the time, it never goes away. I feel unconnected, spacedout, disattached. I'm scard. I hope with this program I will get better. I didnt drive for almost a year because I was worried I was too spaced out that my reflexes wont be fast enough if something happened. Last Oct 2007, I moved back to my home town, Rapid City,SD. I love being back. My 2 sisters are here, Its nice to be back with them. I live here with my 5 year old grandson, just him and I. It is scary at times thinking that he is totally dependent on me, this is what keeps me going. He is the lite of my life. Does anyone else experience this feeling of unconnected, spaced out and detachment?
Looking foward to the future,
Amy
Looking foward to the future,
Amy
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Guest
Hi Piglet,
January 24 2006 I stopped doing everything I'd ever done in life including work, going out of my house, going anywhere, scared to take a step for fear of falling, I had dizziness beyond belief, vertigo, and had convinced myself that the dizziness was coming from a rare disease of the ears called Meneire's disase (sp). It got to the point that at 6 pm that day my wife called the rescue unit who took me to the hospital because I was sure I had had a stroke.
At the hospital they ran every test you can name including a cat scan, mri, blood work, literally everything and every test came back normal. The ER doctor knew that I had carried mild anxiety for 35 years and he kept telling me that I was having a panic attack but of course I knew he was wrong. They sent me home with some kind of pills and naturally I refused to take them also because I knew the pill would make it worse.
Piglet, I lived from January to July 14 2006 in pure fear of everything and this was totally new to me. Yes I had always had anxiety but knew how to control it then suddenly my life, work, and marriage went away in an instant.
On July 14th 2006 I saw an infomercial for this program and thought this is the last chance I have to ever live a regular life again, do I try it or not? I decided I had nothing else to lose because I'd already lost it all anyway so I signed up, bought the program, joined the people in the chatroom, and waited for 3 days for the program to get here.
When it did, I found the first 2 week (2 lessons) were pure hell. I cried, I had more anxiety than I'd ever had before, I wanted to quit but several of the regulars in the chatroom kept telling me that this was normal because the first two to three weeks I was learning how to face the fears that had taken over my life and it would get better. At the end of the second lesson, Overcoming Panic Attacks, I made a decision that I was going to work the entire program harder than anything I'd ever worked in my entire life. I did everything the program called for, didn't matter what it was, if it was an assignment I did it three times in a row, if it was listening to the relaxation cd I did it 3x a day everyday of the week, anything and everything I did 3x until I finished the program on October 13th 2006.
At first yes I was as scared as you are right now, pure fear gripped me, but the further into the lessons I got the easier it became. See each lesson is built upon the previous lesson then goes further ahead at the same time. By the time I got through the third lesson I was out of the house and had started driving my car up and down my driveway...seems like such a small thing doesn't it but it was a huge step for me, I could get in the car again, I could go outside finally and that was in August 2006.
As I moved on through the lessons I started peeling away all the fears I had carried for over 35 years like you'd peel away the layers of an onion, one layer at a time.
As I said I finished the program Oct 13 2006 but I still had a couple fears that were left, one was social anxiety and the other was driving long distances. So I redid the program again from January 2007 to April 2007. During that time I overcame the 'store' problem such as Walmart & even the grocery store.
As time went by my family and wife saw me change even though I really didn't notice it for quite awhile. By the summer of 2007 I was outside, going anywhere I wanted to go, doing whatever I wanted to do and being who I wanted to be not who someone thought I should be. See there is a word in that last line that you will learn as you go further into the program..."I". Now "I" do these things, no one else.
But I still wasn't driving long distances as of January 2008, however, my parents live in Florida while I live in Indiana and on the third week of January this year my mom had to have heart surgery in Florida then dad had to have a pacemaker put in the last week of January. What to do..I had to be there in case something happened and I was needed + I just wanted to be with them during this time of their lives.
Mom's surgery was scheduled for a wednesday morning so I got in my car around 11 am on tuesday morning and drove out of my driveway, picked up I 74 to I 75 in Cincinnati Oh and by myself I drove 1100 miles to Florida, straight thru for 19 hours, and arrived 45 mins before her surgery. I drove it myself, no one else was in the car with me except a cd player and a cell phone. I made a trip I didn't think I'd ever do again. I turned around and came home on Friday of the same week...re-driving 1100 miles.
The next week was my dad's surgery, again, in Florida, so I did something I hadn't done in 33 years, I flew down this time and was there for him. I stayed a couple days then flew home without any problems at all and an anxiety level of zero.
Anxiety at zero? Yes and no, I carry the basic normal anxiety now days that every one has, the kind that keeps us from getting ran over by trains, or hit by a truck when not watching out when driving, but panic & anxiety...gone, nothing there at all.
Since I returned home I've had a couple anxious days but if you saw my daily schedule now it's a wonder I don't pack up and move to a deserted island somewhere just to get out of work.
Piglet, the program does work, but you have to commit yourself to working the program as hard as you've ever done with anything in your entire life and it doesn't matter how young or old you are. Work it, don't look backwards in time, what happened back there is gone and we can't change it but we can keep moving fowards all the time now. The program takes practice to retrain our thinking process to what's good, not what we are used to, the negative side of life and it takes time to do that. I'd give anything to have a magical pill that would wipe the anxiety, depression, ocd out in a split second but I don't, what I do have is this program, a will do live again, and a dedication to make my life better everyday I'm here and I do it.
Right now, it's been 2 years and 2 months since I went totally down or close to 1.5 years since I finished the program and what am I listening to while I type this to you? The relaxation cd! I listen to it 1x a day everyday just to keep my skills sharp, my focus straight ahead, and to keep moving foward. You can do it too, in fact anyone who reads another one of David's novels can do it but it takes hard work, you will face the fears that scare you to death, and you will work through them the same as I did as I peeled back the layers of anxiety that scared me to death also...but as I've won the battle so will you, it just takes time, dedication and practice.
Go for it, don't look back, and take every thing slow and easy...one day at a time.
Have a great day and I think this post may have just beat any I've made in a long long time.
David
January 24 2006 I stopped doing everything I'd ever done in life including work, going out of my house, going anywhere, scared to take a step for fear of falling, I had dizziness beyond belief, vertigo, and had convinced myself that the dizziness was coming from a rare disease of the ears called Meneire's disase (sp). It got to the point that at 6 pm that day my wife called the rescue unit who took me to the hospital because I was sure I had had a stroke.
At the hospital they ran every test you can name including a cat scan, mri, blood work, literally everything and every test came back normal. The ER doctor knew that I had carried mild anxiety for 35 years and he kept telling me that I was having a panic attack but of course I knew he was wrong. They sent me home with some kind of pills and naturally I refused to take them also because I knew the pill would make it worse.
Piglet, I lived from January to July 14 2006 in pure fear of everything and this was totally new to me. Yes I had always had anxiety but knew how to control it then suddenly my life, work, and marriage went away in an instant.
On July 14th 2006 I saw an infomercial for this program and thought this is the last chance I have to ever live a regular life again, do I try it or not? I decided I had nothing else to lose because I'd already lost it all anyway so I signed up, bought the program, joined the people in the chatroom, and waited for 3 days for the program to get here.
When it did, I found the first 2 week (2 lessons) were pure hell. I cried, I had more anxiety than I'd ever had before, I wanted to quit but several of the regulars in the chatroom kept telling me that this was normal because the first two to three weeks I was learning how to face the fears that had taken over my life and it would get better. At the end of the second lesson, Overcoming Panic Attacks, I made a decision that I was going to work the entire program harder than anything I'd ever worked in my entire life. I did everything the program called for, didn't matter what it was, if it was an assignment I did it three times in a row, if it was listening to the relaxation cd I did it 3x a day everyday of the week, anything and everything I did 3x until I finished the program on October 13th 2006.
At first yes I was as scared as you are right now, pure fear gripped me, but the further into the lessons I got the easier it became. See each lesson is built upon the previous lesson then goes further ahead at the same time. By the time I got through the third lesson I was out of the house and had started driving my car up and down my driveway...seems like such a small thing doesn't it but it was a huge step for me, I could get in the car again, I could go outside finally and that was in August 2006.
As I moved on through the lessons I started peeling away all the fears I had carried for over 35 years like you'd peel away the layers of an onion, one layer at a time.
As I said I finished the program Oct 13 2006 but I still had a couple fears that were left, one was social anxiety and the other was driving long distances. So I redid the program again from January 2007 to April 2007. During that time I overcame the 'store' problem such as Walmart & even the grocery store.
As time went by my family and wife saw me change even though I really didn't notice it for quite awhile. By the summer of 2007 I was outside, going anywhere I wanted to go, doing whatever I wanted to do and being who I wanted to be not who someone thought I should be. See there is a word in that last line that you will learn as you go further into the program..."I". Now "I" do these things, no one else.
But I still wasn't driving long distances as of January 2008, however, my parents live in Florida while I live in Indiana and on the third week of January this year my mom had to have heart surgery in Florida then dad had to have a pacemaker put in the last week of January. What to do..I had to be there in case something happened and I was needed + I just wanted to be with them during this time of their lives.
Mom's surgery was scheduled for a wednesday morning so I got in my car around 11 am on tuesday morning and drove out of my driveway, picked up I 74 to I 75 in Cincinnati Oh and by myself I drove 1100 miles to Florida, straight thru for 19 hours, and arrived 45 mins before her surgery. I drove it myself, no one else was in the car with me except a cd player and a cell phone. I made a trip I didn't think I'd ever do again. I turned around and came home on Friday of the same week...re-driving 1100 miles.
The next week was my dad's surgery, again, in Florida, so I did something I hadn't done in 33 years, I flew down this time and was there for him. I stayed a couple days then flew home without any problems at all and an anxiety level of zero.
Anxiety at zero? Yes and no, I carry the basic normal anxiety now days that every one has, the kind that keeps us from getting ran over by trains, or hit by a truck when not watching out when driving, but panic & anxiety...gone, nothing there at all.
Since I returned home I've had a couple anxious days but if you saw my daily schedule now it's a wonder I don't pack up and move to a deserted island somewhere just to get out of work.
Piglet, the program does work, but you have to commit yourself to working the program as hard as you've ever done with anything in your entire life and it doesn't matter how young or old you are. Work it, don't look backwards in time, what happened back there is gone and we can't change it but we can keep moving fowards all the time now. The program takes practice to retrain our thinking process to what's good, not what we are used to, the negative side of life and it takes time to do that. I'd give anything to have a magical pill that would wipe the anxiety, depression, ocd out in a split second but I don't, what I do have is this program, a will do live again, and a dedication to make my life better everyday I'm here and I do it.
Right now, it's been 2 years and 2 months since I went totally down or close to 1.5 years since I finished the program and what am I listening to while I type this to you? The relaxation cd! I listen to it 1x a day everyday just to keep my skills sharp, my focus straight ahead, and to keep moving foward. You can do it too, in fact anyone who reads another one of David's novels can do it but it takes hard work, you will face the fears that scare you to death, and you will work through them the same as I did as I peeled back the layers of anxiety that scared me to death also...but as I've won the battle so will you, it just takes time, dedication and practice.
Go for it, don't look back, and take every thing slow and easy...one day at a time.
Have a great day and I think this post may have just beat any I've made in a long long time.
David
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Guest
Piglet..........never feel like your alone,
God is always on the throne.......Hey that rhymed....I hope you smiled.
There is also a 24 prayer line you can call for immediate prayer as well Its 1800-541-pray. No recording....no ministering....no preaching. Just uplifting you and you will see how much better you will feel and how all of this will soon be in your past. You will also be touched by the Wednesday night prayer group as well......Keep going forward....You have a whole new world to discover. Remember there is someone out there that needs you too.......one day it will be revealed.
God is always on the throne.......Hey that rhymed....I hope you smiled.
There is also a 24 prayer line you can call for immediate prayer as well Its 1800-541-pray. No recording....no ministering....no preaching. Just uplifting you and you will see how much better you will feel and how all of this will soon be in your past. You will also be touched by the Wednesday night prayer group as well......Keep going forward....You have a whole new world to discover. Remember there is someone out there that needs you too.......one day it will be revealed.
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Guest
Piglet,
It's normal to feel like you are feeling. It's also normal to feel like it is working for everyone but you. Hang in there though. It is the thinking in your head that has gotten you to this place, and it will be the thinking in your head that will get you out. Give yourself permission to change your thinking. You have infinite worth, and you are special. God created you because He wanted to. It's okay that you are not perfect, it's okay that you are having difficulty, it's okay that you are having to work through this. It's okay! For the longest, I thought I deserved the type of thinking about myself that I had. I told myself that that was how God saw me, so I should think that way. But I know now that is not true. So I can change my thinking - I can begin to think of good things, not bad. I can laugh at myself and not chew myself out for doing something silly or not being flawless. The way I think is something I have control over. I may not be able to stop the thoughts that automatically come into my head, but I don't have to entertain them. I can rest in the moment and not think outside of it. You are special, you are needed, and you are worth thinking good things about yourself and your life. You are in my prayers.
It's normal to feel like you are feeling. It's also normal to feel like it is working for everyone but you. Hang in there though. It is the thinking in your head that has gotten you to this place, and it will be the thinking in your head that will get you out. Give yourself permission to change your thinking. You have infinite worth, and you are special. God created you because He wanted to. It's okay that you are not perfect, it's okay that you are having difficulty, it's okay that you are having to work through this. It's okay! For the longest, I thought I deserved the type of thinking about myself that I had. I told myself that that was how God saw me, so I should think that way. But I know now that is not true. So I can change my thinking - I can begin to think of good things, not bad. I can laugh at myself and not chew myself out for doing something silly or not being flawless. The way I think is something I have control over. I may not be able to stop the thoughts that automatically come into my head, but I don't have to entertain them. I can rest in the moment and not think outside of it. You are special, you are needed, and you are worth thinking good things about yourself and your life. You are in my prayers.