Does anyone else wear different faces for everyone?

gweneseth · Post by **gweneseth** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:39 am

I'm just checking with the community I guess, but I swear, I wear a different face for everyone I know. I'm acting! Almost all the time I'm acting.

I've gotten extremely good at sensing what someone expects of me and then emulating the behavior or reactions that they feel is proper of me. I can endear myself to just about anyone I meet, that is of course I think until they get close enough to see it's all one big act.

I think I'm the best liar I know. I can even lie to myself so convincingly that I almost believe I am the person I pretend to be.

Is anyone else like this? Seriously, I know it's laughable but I'm not really sure I know who the me under all the layers is anymore.

Ms. Hopeful · Post by **Ms. Hopeful** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:06 am

I thought I was having a nervous breakdown 3 months ago, with all the stress in my life since I had a back injury. Looking in the mirror that FACE was not the same bubbly person I use to be. The stress and anxiety has changed me internally but I try not to show it. I had to go back to look at photographs of myself during events, parties etc and say THAT'S IS WHO I AM, i want that person back. I am finally beginning to feel like myself, but I still have work to do. I was because of my PAIN that put me in such a deep depression for 3 months, but each day I feel better and somedays I feel the same. But I take it one day at a time. I did open up and share with 2 of my closes friends my true feelings of who I was and what I was thinking, since they are my MOM and Husband, they knew about the anxiousness and nerves, but did not know of the scary negative thoughts about thinking my medical condition will going to escalate and Kill me with a heart-attack or stroke, but I realized that is was all in my mind because of this chemical imbalance call Anxiety. The old saying is that YOU CAN RUN...but you can't Hide.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:08 am

Hello Gweneseth,

I can't say I would want to be anyone I am not, especially to please other people. But when you are not around other people when you feel you don't have to "act", do you ever have conversations with your inner voice? That child in you that has always been there? I don't believe that changes during our life. Although we change and grow but our inner self remains and lets us know who we are. I have lots of conversations with the inner voice.
You can't be anyone you are not and it doesn't matter what other people think. I'm sure there is a beautiful person behind all those facade's.
What session are you on? I am working on session 2 and the 6 steps are already helping me so far.

Barbara

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 11:01 am

I used to, but I'm learning more and more every day who I REALLY am and learning to love who I am. This way we don't care so much what others think. I know I'm a great person, so if someone doesn't like me, it's OK. I have other people I can spend time with.

I hope you can get there too. The first part is figuring out who you really are after doing this for so long. Sit down and figure out what your favorite foods, your favorite hobbies, movies are. . . get to know YOU again and remember to treat yourself as you would a very dear friend. Give yourself a break. Be easy on YOU.

AD1973 · Post by **AD1973** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:49 pm

I definitely put on different faces for people!

Heck I do it for my own parents cause I don't want to hear their crap. I heard enough of it when I broke down in 8th grade.

When I say parents I mean dad and step-mom.

We went to one counseling session in 8th grde and they said something to my step-mom which set her off so bad (I got the ALL MY FAULT) speech and we never went back.

I wear a different face for them, without a doubt!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:48 pm

I have a collection of masks. Different outlooks and personas that I put on for people to keep them distant. Sometimes I find myself putting one on for my husband, but I catch myself and take it off - he's the only one who I trust to know the "true" me.

I love to keep people distant, but only because I think, "what would they think if they knew the "true" me?" It's all based off fear and anxiety, but it's showing to be a tough habit to break.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 1:38 am

well I think a little of that is healthy. Not everyone needs to know everything about us. Some of it is for those we can trust. But overall I try to be myself. . .and choose carefully who I share super personal stuff.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:15 am

You will be a different person around other people. That is the nature of being a person. Notice how much you change when you talk to someone you don't know at a grocery store, your close friend, an acquaintance, your mother or yourself!

Some people make you feel better because of the personality you developed around them. Some make it worse because it may bring back your old personality that caused the anxiety. I experience each time I am around my friend of 9 years. I start to go back into my old, fearful self concept.

When I am around my other friend that I started to overcome anxiety, I feel energetic and I have a clear headed mind (usually).

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 6:11 pm

It makes me feel better that someone wanted to talk about this. I have worn different faces for different people for as far back as I can remember. I know that the reason that I have always done this, was to hide my anxiety or depression or lack of self confidence, depending on the person or situation.

Through the last 2-3 years, I have decided that wearing the masks to hide is not really a good idea for me. I have learned instead, to try to be more of myself and just not reveal all information to all people. Which doesn't sound all the different, but for me really is very different.

David** · Post by David** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 7:33 pm

I posted earlier, but, the one thing I am finding as my anxiety issues have drawn on longer and it has affected me a little more I have told more people (not everyone, but people I feel I can trust), however, I worry in the end people will lose trust in me or think something is wrong with me.

I use to have a really close friend and we have shared everything since we were 11, but, he moved around the world and we don't get to talk much and that really bothers me.

He was the one who always brought me down. I had a major blow out once in 2005 and I called him cause it was middle of the night by me and it worked out really well, it was slightly expensive, but, he brought me down and I was able to go on with my day.

Starting to realize that I needed this community more than anything because I don't want to many people knowing that I have issues such as these. I don't want people to begin losing faith in me!