Rough Times Recently

Prv31Mom · Post by **Prv31Mom** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:57 am

Hi everyone -

I haven't posted in awhile (I just posted this in my December Peer Group, but thought I might need advice faster than the replies usually come on that forum - so please forgive the redundancy), and I suppose I could blame some of that on my schedule. I was out of town for two different stints in the past two months and I totally got off schedule with the program. I am still listening to my sessions, watching the coaching DVD, and reading the book, but not like I should. I'm working my way back into it though.

Here's the thing - I was doing great...and schedule or no schedule - I would have continued, I suppose, but I have this problem...that I just can't talk about. And it causes me guilt...and obsessive thoughts (not bad ones, but just that I think about this all the time)...and it causes me to worry that someone will find out about it...and it's like an addiction - I need this, but I know it's wrong for me...but then again...maybe it's right for the future? I know this doesn't make sense...but I need to stop my need for attention and the fact that I have it (the need) is causing me to allow myself to get depressed and lose self-confidence all over again.

I guess I'm looking for encouragement more than anything today. I know I sound like I've lost my mind (like we all don't understand that one!). This is not a physical addiction problem - just more like an emotional one. Which doesn't make it less painful or difficult, I'm just saying that as a moderate explanation.

I just feel like I have zero will power and self-control sometimes and it translates off of this problem over to my ability to stick with the program, exercise routine, whatever. I know that I can do more and I know that I am worth a better life than the one I set myself into (by that I mean - not my family or my career or anything, but the mental life I cause myself to have)...

Anyhow - your advice would be appreciated.

Thanks guys.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 4:11 am

Hi prv mom.

You would be surprised at what problems other people are having that disturbes them until they talk about them. You have to get it out. Pick 1 person that you don't know and that you think you can feel free to tell your fear to, and tell just that person. But make sure it's a person that can also give you advice if you need it. You'll feel so much better afterward.

DeeDee.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 6:16 am

Thanks, DeeDee, for that advice. It's very difficult to carry on an outward life when the inward life you hide is tearing you up.

You're right - getting it out would help.

Thanks for listening and replying.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 1:59 pm

I agree with Deedee. I have recently revealed some things that I htought I could never share with anyone to a person that I know. It really helped me feel better. I have OCD and I can get really bogged down in guilt and just spinning the sme thing over and over in my head. If you let it out it helps and maybe someone can give better advice if they nderstan the real issue. Remember we are all human. You'd be surprised some of the issues we all have. Yours aren't better or worse than any others.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 2:00 pm

Gosh, excuse all my typos!

BePositive-Amy · Post by **BePositive-Amy** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:30 am

Thank you for your post, Jannnacle. I am trying to get through this and have founf some helpful advice through these boards and suggested books.

It's like I know that this (thing) is wrong for me, but I just have to let go...and the letting go is hard. But on the flip side...the guilt of holding onto it is worse.

So far I'm on day 3 of letting go. Thanks for the support & encouragement.

Dawn

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:42 am

hi,
we all have things in our past that only we know and GOD ...but there are times when we need to confide in someone that has been through what we have been through..i talk to my wife and she says she has things thati do not know and it bothers her and i have things as well..but you know where you are now from where you was a year ago...you have come a long way..i have read some of your other posts. i read what you write othes and i can see changes in you that others can as well..
turn it over to GOD AND LET IT GO..if you need to talk to someone i can ot tell you who but you will find someone that you can relate too..all is not lost...i find that when things get rough.I GO TO GOD AND READ MY BIBLE AND PRAY..PRAYER ORKS WONDERS WHEN WE REACH OUTTO HIM HE WILL REACH BACK AND PICK US UP.know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and GOD BLESS..
DON
IF I CAN HELP SOMEOBODY AS I TRAVEL ON, THEN MY LIVING WILL NOT BE IN VAIN.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:43 am

DAWN,
by the way that is such beautiful name. the same as my daughter but, she is in vrginia..take care and be blessed

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:17 am

Thank you, Don. I really appreciate your feedback. I used to be reazlly dedicated to reading my Bible and praying, but I think I started realizing that I had a lot of "head knowledge" and not "heart knowledge". I'm trying to get back on track.

As it was suggested to me in here the other day...one day at a time. It's so hard though!

Thanks for the support and prayers! And for sharing about your daughter's name. I always liked the verse in the Bible that said, 'the path of the righteous is like the first light of DAWN, shining ever brighter until the full light of day." I think it's in Proverbs,

Trying to shine brighter,
Dawn

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:32 am

DAWN,
you know where to go for answers and you know what you need to get to where you need too..yu can get back to where yo once was and more..i did and it was such a blessing that i was overcome and amazed at how much i had missed in life and how i had missed going to CHURCH, READING MY BIBLE AND HAVING FORTHE 1STTIM IN MY LIFE A LADY THAT WAS THE SAME AS I WAS AND MORE..finding that was a MIRACLE FROM GOD.take care and know that some things are worth fighting for..have a good week and i know that you will be on your journey shortly to be things..
HEAVELNY FATHER HELP MY DEAR FRIEND DAWN FIND HER WAY BACK TO YOU..I CAN SEE YOU AS YOU LOOK DOWN AND SEE HER AND AS SHE LOOKS UP TO YOU..AND REACHES OUT HOLD HER CLOSE AND TELL HER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER AND ARE GLAD SHE RETURNED O THE FOLD..IN JESUS NAME ..THE NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES..AMEN