Praise and prayers

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:37 am

Since I missed the phone call last night, I will gladly tell you that this week was one of the best. We have identified that Sundays are the worst for me. Saturday night, I anicipated an attack therefore causing attack (Isn't that how it goes..lol), and we are able to get a handle on it and not have it last for a day or two. I cried asking not to have to go through it. It was like an airplane fling straight, then the wings tipping from side to side trying to gain control back. No crash landing this time though, praise the Lord. I've literally been flying high all week.
Then I get a phone call from the ex who is a bit draining right now but that's another story. He say the teacher called about our 8 year old son saying he's showing some "different" behavior. So immediately my mind races trying to figure it out, whether I've done something and on and on until I'm trying to determine if the failed marriage to his dad (which I ended) has ruined his life.
I know when my husband gets home and I talk to him, he will put things in perspective. We will watch our son and see what if anything is going on. But I'm in the "trough" now. Trying to stay out of a tailspin, if you will.
Isn't this something I ultimately have to turn over to God and do my best to be a good mom when I have him on the weekends? And of course keep a watchful, not obsessive, eye on him.
P.S. He doesn't know I tried to commit suicide. He found me though, and his dad told him that the meds I took made me sick and that he saved my life. What if he knows the truth??

*D* · Post by ***D*** » Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:00 am

bev,
at 8 years old he will show some different behavior.he is at that age where he is changing...its nothing that you did to cause it. you are doing what you are suppossed to do.. you have him on the weekends and give him the love that he needs. there was a reason thatyou are not married to your ex anymore. you are beyound that now..sometimes they like to make us feel bad and put us on a guilt trip.. just keep praying and doing what you are doing and you will be ok....i also pray that your plane will lever out and not spin again...life is like that sometimes. we have good days and some bad days but i would not give anything for what i have now...trust GOD and HE WILL SEE YOU THROUGH..
if you look back see where GOD has brought you from and look forward to where HE is taking you..you will be just fine..you are in our thoughts and prayers and GOD BLESS..
don

Shaky Susie · Post by **Shaky Susie** » Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:06 am

I'm so glad that you have been having a good week.

Yes, you really do have to surrender control to God. HOWEVER, with an an anxiety disorder that makes it a little hard to do most of the time. I wouldn't make it without my faith in God and knowing that he will work all things out for my good. I'm clinging to that.

Anyway...I doubt that your son knows the truth about when he found you. He may have questions later and I think you can use it as a teaching experience. I would think that it would be better not to hide it from him (but if you can help it I don't think I'd tell him just yet) It is great that you are concerned enough about him to watch out for him and if you are unsure about his behavior then I would think it would be helpful to talk to a professional about it. It's probably "normal". Kids can be quirky sometimes. You sound like a caring mom.

Maeggie · Post by **Maeggie** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:53 am

Angel Beverly:

You have a heart of gold, my god sweetie always thinking about everyone else! I agree with the above, age 8 seems to be a very volitile age where he'll be starting to change into a little man- he probably barely noticed your issues

I wanted to congratulate you on handling everything SO WELL! wow! inspiring! I am glad you are having a good week, have you found that core calmness inside yourself? (I hope that makes sense but I mean when everything is going awall you are ok?) I am searching for that place! (I have begun invisioning this little place inside myself, in my heart that has my dream house, land, stuff. . ect. this has helped me greatly remembering to go back to my calm place!)

Keep us posted on your good week and ride that positive wave as if it will never end!

Best wishes and warmest vibes to you

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 2:53 pm

Don, you are absolutely right. I jumped the gun and didn't think rational which I know we can do with our kids sometime. Thanks for the voice of reason...it is always appreciated.

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 2:57 pm

Susie, you are right. I wouldn't make it without my faith and I don't know how it can be rattled so quickly, but that is a big weakness when my kids are involved. Thanks for your input. I believe I haven't seen your name before. Are you new?

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:03 pm

Maeggie, I don't really know if I'm to the calm within place yet. This was more like holding on for dear life- when Saturday and the weekly anxiety came.
I've since read something, I think on Joel Osteen's devotionals about focusing on the good "visually" and it will come in turn. So I'm trying that.
And I wouldn't know what to do without my husband to turn to who says, "You know what is happening" and "you know why," so let's get a grip and beat this before it gets out of control. He never let my hand go.
We'll just keep on keeping on from here!