Hi, my name is Julie and I have a beautiful baby girl,whose almost 19 months old. I am a stay at home mom and live in Florida. My husband owns his own buisness, so he is working alot, therefore it's just me and her most of the time. The rest of my family lives in Tennessee, so it's not like I can go down the road and visit with any of them.
I've had anxiety before with stressful situations, but it would pass with time. What I have now stays with me throughout the day. I've got to where I don't want to go anywhere. Staying home seems to give me the most comfort. I feel strange when I go outside or in the public like grocery stores, or mall. I feel like the world is functioning and I'm not. I am also very touchy, moody. Little thins can make me so mad. Like if I stub my toe or wind up the the slowest line at the store. I always think, of course, stupid you would do this! Things that are not big deals, but I make them that way.
Just thinking about having to give the baby a bath, or thinking about what to feed her, feeding her, cleaning the house, fixing dinner, things that shouldn't effect me the way they do, but I have anxiety over them.
I feel like I try to have everything done at a certain time every day or it's just going to ruin my day. Oh, I hate to feel his way! My mind constantly is thinking about this problem. It's consuming me. I have the program and have started the second session. I'm trying really hard, so hard that I think it's stressing me out!
Anyway, I'm just wanting this to work so bad it hurts, literally. If anyone can relate to this please reply. It would be a little comforting to know that someone knows what I am feeling. Thanks.
Did anyone's anxiety start after having baby?
Julie,
I know exactly how you feel. I have an almost six-year old, and have basically raised her on my own. My husband drives truck, and so is gone all the time. I don't have much famil around so it has been me and her since the day she was born. I am also a stay-at-home mom, so it is easy to get secluded and feel as if the world is passing you by. I have struggled with this for years. I am on session 11, and am feeling better. It is a very tough situation you and I find ourselves in, but we still have control over how we react, think, and deal with it. I used to have to have the house completely clean once a week, the sink washed every day, my daughter bathed every night, and the list goes on. It is very stressful! But I was doing it to myself. Nobody but me expected those things or made those rules. In a later session is a quote I have really come to love. "I will do what I can. Whatever I do is wonderful". In other words...Life will go on even if things don't get done that day or on time. And what you do get done, on your own with a small child is a MAJOR accomplishment. You also need to take time for yourself and for fun. All work and no play makes for a sad and stressed mommy. Trust me I know.
Hang in there with the program. That is more important than cleaning. Don't worry about what to feed your little girl. As long as she is eating she will be fine. Don't expect so much of yourself, and don't be so hard on yourself. Be patient, loving, and compassionate to yourself. Stubbing your toe, and getting in the long line (althought annoying) don't make you stupid. That isn't realistic. I had the same problems, and now realize they happen to everyone.
I hope this helps. I know where you are and are coming from. I wish you the best of luck. One more thing, be grateful and focus on the good and what you do have. And if all else fails, get better to be a better mom for your daughter. Good luck to you!
I know exactly how you feel. I have an almost six-year old, and have basically raised her on my own. My husband drives truck, and so is gone all the time. I don't have much famil around so it has been me and her since the day she was born. I am also a stay-at-home mom, so it is easy to get secluded and feel as if the world is passing you by. I have struggled with this for years. I am on session 11, and am feeling better. It is a very tough situation you and I find ourselves in, but we still have control over how we react, think, and deal with it. I used to have to have the house completely clean once a week, the sink washed every day, my daughter bathed every night, and the list goes on. It is very stressful! But I was doing it to myself. Nobody but me expected those things or made those rules. In a later session is a quote I have really come to love. "I will do what I can. Whatever I do is wonderful". In other words...Life will go on even if things don't get done that day or on time. And what you do get done, on your own with a small child is a MAJOR accomplishment. You also need to take time for yourself and for fun. All work and no play makes for a sad and stressed mommy. Trust me I know.
Hang in there with the program. That is more important than cleaning. Don't worry about what to feed your little girl. As long as she is eating she will be fine. Don't expect so much of yourself, and don't be so hard on yourself. Be patient, loving, and compassionate to yourself. Stubbing your toe, and getting in the long line (althought annoying) don't make you stupid. That isn't realistic. I had the same problems, and now realize they happen to everyone.
I hope this helps. I know where you are and are coming from. I wish you the best of luck. One more thing, be grateful and focus on the good and what you do have. And if all else fails, get better to be a better mom for your daughter. Good luck to you!
Dear Julie,
I had a similar experience after the birth of both my son's but in particular after the birth of my oldest son. We were living away from family and I was very isolated--did not know anyone and my husband of course was working. That is when my anxiety really took off. I realize that I was affected off and on with anxity my whole life--starting as a child. I did not realize that it was anxiety at the time. I made it through it and we moved back to our home town and family which was helpful. Then after my second son was born it came back with a vengence. I saw a wonderful psychologist at the time--who helped. At the time I had a parent/child relationship with my husband and he helped me get at the root of my anxiety. I did well went back to school but still had anxiety off and on but did well. Then a year ago I went through menopause and it was back. My family physician started me on prozac and I really got worse. What I now realize is that I really need this program and work through everything. I am starting week seven tomorrow and I can see the progress I am making. Julie, keep working through the program. I know how you must be feeling at this time. My anxiety went through the roof the 1st couple of weeks. I was so scared that I was getting worse. But I kept going and I am glad I did. You can do this. Your baby and your husband need the calm peaceful you! My prayers and thoughts are with you.
I had a similar experience after the birth of both my son's but in particular after the birth of my oldest son. We were living away from family and I was very isolated--did not know anyone and my husband of course was working. That is when my anxiety really took off. I realize that I was affected off and on with anxity my whole life--starting as a child. I did not realize that it was anxiety at the time. I made it through it and we moved back to our home town and family which was helpful. Then after my second son was born it came back with a vengence. I saw a wonderful psychologist at the time--who helped. At the time I had a parent/child relationship with my husband and he helped me get at the root of my anxiety. I did well went back to school but still had anxiety off and on but did well. Then a year ago I went through menopause and it was back. My family physician started me on prozac and I really got worse. What I now realize is that I really need this program and work through everything. I am starting week seven tomorrow and I can see the progress I am making. Julie, keep working through the program. I know how you must be feeling at this time. My anxiety went through the roof the 1st couple of weeks. I was so scared that I was getting worse. But I kept going and I am glad I did. You can do this. Your baby and your husband need the calm peaceful you! My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Although I've not experienced it personally (we don't have kids yet - we're just working on that!) two of my closest friends BOTH went through what you are talking about.
One friend even thought about driving her car down a ravine because she couldn't understand what her point in being here was. Don't let that scare you - she worked past it and is doing great. Her son is now 4 and they have a wonderful family.
You are definitely not alone!
One friend even thought about driving her car down a ravine because she couldn't understand what her point in being here was. Don't let that scare you - she worked past it and is doing great. Her son is now 4 and they have a wonderful family.
You are definitely not alone!
Hi Julie
You sound like the Floridian Version of me!
My daughter is 15 mo. I stay at home with her, my husband works 12 hours a day and I've always had anxiety but it became unbearable after I had Effie. Now I feel exactly like you do, everything is either a huge task or a big annoyance. I dont know why things got worse after she was born, probably because Im a control freak and that is now worse since babies have their own adgenda...
...who knows.
All I can tell you is that after this particularly stressful winter, and since starting these tapes, (Im now on 3) I have decided to go back to work part time so give myself a break from being a mother and get back to taking care of me for a change. Before, the thought of leaving her was out of the question, but I find that as I go on w/these cds, Im realizing that It will be good for me to part ways with the baby every so often, make some friends, have some adult conversation,
be Marcy- not mommy...just to get back my sense of self. Im almost certain this will help me with my anxiety. And once I'm feeling better, I can be a better mom, and thats really what Im hoping for.
I dont know how you feel about working, or maybe taking a class here or there? Even just going on playdates to meet people. Having lots of people in your life around where you live I think would be really good for you and your anxiety. Its not easy to be alone with a child all day, they arent exactly...shall we say..understanding.
Keep going...you'll get there. In the meantime, I'll just be living vicariously through you and your Florida weather to escape the snow up here- hope you dont mind!
You sound like the Floridian Version of me!
My daughter is 15 mo. I stay at home with her, my husband works 12 hours a day and I've always had anxiety but it became unbearable after I had Effie. Now I feel exactly like you do, everything is either a huge task or a big annoyance. I dont know why things got worse after she was born, probably because Im a control freak and that is now worse since babies have their own adgenda...
...who knows.
All I can tell you is that after this particularly stressful winter, and since starting these tapes, (Im now on 3) I have decided to go back to work part time so give myself a break from being a mother and get back to taking care of me for a change. Before, the thought of leaving her was out of the question, but I find that as I go on w/these cds, Im realizing that It will be good for me to part ways with the baby every so often, make some friends, have some adult conversation,
be Marcy- not mommy...just to get back my sense of self. Im almost certain this will help me with my anxiety. And once I'm feeling better, I can be a better mom, and thats really what Im hoping for.
I dont know how you feel about working, or maybe taking a class here or there? Even just going on playdates to meet people. Having lots of people in your life around where you live I think would be really good for you and your anxiety. Its not easy to be alone with a child all day, they arent exactly...shall we say..understanding.
Keep going...you'll get there. In the meantime, I'll just be living vicariously through you and your Florida weather to escape the snow up here- hope you dont mind!
You all sound like me (in NY). My anxiety actually started during my second pregnancy. (well, i guess I always had it - but didn't realize it). I had a bonified medical emergency while my husband was out of town during my first pregnancy. I also had a VERY fast labor. These two things left me anxious during my second pregnancy.
I was normal and happy going all over town with my two boys ages 2 and infant when I got ill this summer. Again, a bonified illness, but lead toan anxiety i can't seem to conquer. I am most comfortable at home.
My husband also runs his own business, so he works long hours and travels fairly frequently.
I live in fear that if I take the boys out and have a medical emergency they will be left to fend for themselves in a public place. I get anxious at home too because I do seem to be going through a perimenopausal thing which has very uncomfortable sensations, along with IBS.
I did take them out today - I needed to get a blood test and then to Walmart. I mentally broke it down into steps so I could just head home if I needed to, but when I hit Walmart I started feeling lousy and the anxiety kicked in or did the anxiety kick in and then I started feeling lousy - don't know which.
Anyway, I didn't even realize I had gone into my own little zone out land until my 3 year old said "Mommy!" and I felt like he pulled me out of a deep hole or away from a good book. I tried to breathe and calm myself , but I really thought I wasn't gonna make it til I ran into my sister in law. That's all I needed was to know someone i knew was in that store. I spent another hour ther with little problem. So I KNOW it was only anxiety.
I am on week 1 of the program and really enjoyed what I did , but can't seem to figure out how to work the daily lessons into my schedule and am not highly motivated although I do want to get better. Oh yeah, have a headache now, and I knew while I was in the store that this was just a headache coming on.
Silly me. I have headaches 3-4 times a week and they spend 2 days coming and 2 days going - I would be house bound if I catered to them all.
I'm just shy of housebopund now. My poor little boys. There's so much more to life than what I am offering them.
I was normal and happy going all over town with my two boys ages 2 and infant when I got ill this summer. Again, a bonified illness, but lead toan anxiety i can't seem to conquer. I am most comfortable at home.
My husband also runs his own business, so he works long hours and travels fairly frequently.
I live in fear that if I take the boys out and have a medical emergency they will be left to fend for themselves in a public place. I get anxious at home too because I do seem to be going through a perimenopausal thing which has very uncomfortable sensations, along with IBS.
I did take them out today - I needed to get a blood test and then to Walmart. I mentally broke it down into steps so I could just head home if I needed to, but when I hit Walmart I started feeling lousy and the anxiety kicked in or did the anxiety kick in and then I started feeling lousy - don't know which.
Anyway, I didn't even realize I had gone into my own little zone out land until my 3 year old said "Mommy!" and I felt like he pulled me out of a deep hole or away from a good book. I tried to breathe and calm myself , but I really thought I wasn't gonna make it til I ran into my sister in law. That's all I needed was to know someone i knew was in that store. I spent another hour ther with little problem. So I KNOW it was only anxiety.
I am on week 1 of the program and really enjoyed what I did , but can't seem to figure out how to work the daily lessons into my schedule and am not highly motivated although I do want to get better. Oh yeah, have a headache now, and I knew while I was in the store that this was just a headache coming on.
Silly me. I have headaches 3-4 times a week and they spend 2 days coming and 2 days going - I would be house bound if I catered to them all.
I'm just shy of housebopund now. My poor little boys. There's so much more to life than what I am offering them.
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newjourney
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:02 pm
I can relate to all of your postings. My anxiety didn't start after having a baby, but having a baby didn't help! I did OK when I just had one child, but then we had another baby when my oldest was 22 months old. That just seemed to tip me over the edge. I think a huge contributor though is fatigue. Let's face it, kids are exhausting. And for me, the fatigue really exacerbates my anxiety. Also, I haven't eaten very nutritiously and I haven't exercised as I used to since my second girl was born. All of these things together can set you up for anxiety. I also just feel this huge responsibility being a parent, which makes me feel even more anxious. I worry that they won't be happy enough, or I won't choose the right school for them, or I'm not disciplining them the right way. I worry about their health. I worry about their safety. I had to buy a huge SUV so that I could feel safe with them on the freeway. If I fly on a plane with them, I'm super anxious, because what if there is a crash and they are these innocent lives and if I hadn't subjected them to a plane ride, they could have had a life. I worry about pedophiles, and someone kidnapping them. I worry about them growing up and getting in with the wrong crowd or getting on drugs or something. It becomes overwhelming. However, with the program, I'm hoping that I will learn to keep all my scarey thoughts and fears under control - and focus on the present moment. (the precious present moment). One of the things that motivated me is that I don't want my girls to grow up with anxiety. I want to be able to teach them the coping skills that I will hopefully learn on the program.
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bevhembree
- Posts: 275
- Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:44 am
I really think the others did a great job of answering. I am just posting to say you are not alone and that you are very normal. A little one is a lot to handle and it's easy to get overloaded. Try to take one day or hour an a time and give yourself plenty of slack. You don't have to be perfect or prove anything to anybody. Make yourself smile, tell yourself happy thoughts- even if it's only "today is a beautiful day" to start with- and give yourself permission to enjoy your child's young years. They will be a memory before we have a chance to catch our breath. Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. Beverly
"Here and happy because of my three little angels- Marie, Chad and Cady."
Took my 3 year old to Mc Donalds for dinner and to play in the playland. daddy was home with our one year old, so it was a "safe" opportunity. I had a minor anxiety attack before I left and a rugged few moments while we were out but we were gone for two hours, so all in all I guess I did well. Better than yesterday.
Now I just need to get disciplined into a schedule of doing the program - how do those of you with small children do that?
Now I just need to get disciplined into a schedule of doing the program - how do those of you with small children do that?