Are you a lovable/affectionate person?

Maeggie · Post by **Maeggie** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:57 am

Hi everyone I need to ask this its causing tons of obsessing for me:

Poll: do people who suffer with this disorder tend not to be affectionate/lovable? is there an underlying reason for this?

Also, do you struggle with intimacy/sex? I know personal.. sorry!

I personally am not cuddley, affectionate or lovable and want to be so I beat myself up about it.. I just want to know if its me, the disorder or maybe the person Im with? and when someone else is sweet/cuddley with me I feel uncomfortable..

Please help! THANKS A MILLION!

samcat · Post by **samcat** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 3:15 am

hi maeggie

DITTO, on everything. i wish i knew.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:17 am

I feel the same way. Anxiety is lonely. I want to be hugged and held and loved and want to be loving to others as well but I just can't seem to accept or give anything right now. I just happened to be reviewing the session 2 CD while reading this and right at that moment on track 6 they are talking about how we get so caught up in ourselves and how it's hard to give ourselves to anyone else in any way when we cannot get a hold of our own feelings and thoughts. I feel as though as we heal and work through this disorder we will be able to be more affectionate and lovable.

BookOfPsalms · Post by **BookOfPsalms** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:33 am

I'm lovable and affectionate. In fact, I think sometimes I cant get enough

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:58 am

(((Maeggie))!!!

I think it's the way someone is raised as to whether they are affectionate. It's all what you are used to. That's the way I was raised then married into very emotional and sharing, affectionate family. Hubby's family shares, talks, hugs, kisses, prays- everything.
A big change came for me when I had kids b/c I wanted them to be outwardly loving and comfortable where I had not had that. Teaching them to say and hear "I Love You" and giving hugs is second nature to them. Now my extended family is much less stand offish in those terms b/c my children tell them I love you all the time (and they have to say it back, right?) So they are more comfortable with all of it now.
And plus your spouse isn't as affectionate as you'd like, so it's harder for you to get where you want to be unless he comes around too.
But don't let it bother you too much. Just do what you're comfortable with for now. Beverly

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 5:39 am

I'm lovable and affectionate and the sex is GREAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:49 am

I am very affectionate and was all the way through my challenges with anxiety and depression.

When I first had it, I wasn't, because I was with my ex-husband and we just didn't 'get' each other, so although we shared and held each other, it wasn't the same.

When I began dating my 'new' husband (how weird does that sound?!) I was going through the worst depression and anxiety ever and I needed to be held and conforted a lot. I went to him frequently and would just 'tuck in' to his arms, folding myself into his body. He's not as affectionate as I am, so we learned to balance. I still tell him I love him at least once a day. He isn't the same way, but it doesn't bother me.

The sex thing is still a problem. When we first started dating I had a huge sex drive despite the depression. Then, it tappered off and it is still 'missing in action'. I understand that it is my depleted hormones that make the drive low and once they recover a bit, I'll have the drive return (can't wait!).

I hope that helps!

Ronda

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:27 am

I think it depends on different things, primarily the individual & for myself at least, the state of anxiety or depression I am in.

I am very affectionate & loving, & when I'm feeling okay, or by chance happy, I can shower affection. But when I'm feeling deeply depressed I tend to withdraw, I want to be comforted, but at the same time want to be left alone.

Same thing with sex, when I feel ok/good, I feel ok/good about myself and am all about it. But if I feel bad, I feel bad about myself, and don't want to be looked at much less felt up.

sablan · Post by **sablan** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:46 am

I agree with Phantom. When I'm on top of the world then I'm spreading the love. But if I'm in the depths of depression, then I'm pushing everyone away and shutting everyone out. Fort Knox goes up! Same goes for sex. If i'm feeling good then I want it and i'm ready to give it, but if I'm feeling bad, how dare you ask me for that!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:46 am

No, Affection is a trait I don't have, I wish I did but it just aint gonna happen