Negative Self Talk and How it Affects Marriage

GW · Post by GW » Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:24 am

I received Combatting Stress and Depression Program three weeks ago and have been working through the program. Session Three on turning negative self-talk into positive self-talk really opened my eyes to what I've been doing to myself and family for many years. I don't know if the program can help my marriage at this point, my wife moved out three months ago over issues that have gone on for a few years. After listening to session three I realized how much my negative thoughts and self-talk were affecting my life and our marriage. Is there a forum that deals with these types of issues. My fears are relationship driven and what the future holds. I know I can conquer my anxiety and depression but was looking for folks that may have similar situations. Thanks!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:33 am

I have just recived the program I think that alot of my anxities and fears are relationship driven also. I seem to be able to hold these negitive and distructive thoughts back for a while with positive thinking but my stress and lack of confidance eventually errods positivity and I am back at square one fighting again. I hope this porgram can help out and I think this talking thing will be of great bennifit also

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 2:35 am

HI GW

I wanted to give you props on your wonderful relization.. even if it is to late with your wife, wow what a great way to make the next relationship greatly stronger.. I was relieved to read your post b.c. I am wondering if 'me' is hindering my common law relationship as well.. thanks for posting, I know I learned something!

Keep on keeping on, the program is incredible I have recommended it to two other family members and they both got it and are doing much better! keep up the good work and keep in touch..

if you ever want to PM please do

best wishes!

keithjoy · Post by **keithjoy** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 4:38 am

I, too would like a forum devoted to this. Relationships are difficult enough, but when you have anxiety or depression, it just magnifies everything.

cfe · Post by **cfe** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:06 am

there's a place to recommend a forum--click on forums and scrolls down past the list of current forums.

also, you can conduct a group with other like-minded people through private messaging (feature). or people can keep posting on a thread like this for pages and pages.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:16 am

Dear GW, Your post hit me between the eyes. I have been trolling for a few days but not posting but you got me thinking:Are my fears relationship driven and what the future holds? Would you mind elaborating on that statement and how you figured that out? If it's too personal that's ok it's just that I am new at this and am looking for something to keep me going. Thanks

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:28 am

Now, I'm obsessing bc I think my fears are also relationship driven. I am constantly in fear of being rejected so I reject them before they reject me or I do something so impulsive, obsessive, or otherwise that drives them away before they can drop me. It all makes sense now. But what do I do because now I'm all alone and still obsessing about past relationships and I really chased a good one away this last time.

ronda stephens · Post by **ronda stephens** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:38 am

Jugray:

I will write more soon but dude read the last part of your message, let the good one get away- thats a terrible way to think- you are where you are for a reason and everything happens for a reason, onward and upward, conquer you and you can conquer someone, that cliche saying: you cant be happy with someone until you are happy with yourself- I relized thats true- with limits- cant settle..

Keep working on positive thinking! the relationship issues stem from all of everything: high expectations cause disappointement which tripples and snowballs over time into negative thoughts, negative thoughts trigger anxiety, anxiety causes worry which causes obsessing which causes bewilderment which triggers anxiety which causes worry then body symptoms, then feelings of depression, then self medicating, then worry, depression, anxiety, negative thoughts, then the self doubt, anger, frustration and impatience begins, which triggers more anxiety and frustration, which in turn makes you exhausted and helpless.. of course complusions, indecisiveness and more comes along too-- see the pattern? wasting your whole life precious momments and all worrying about tomorrow.. let me ask you this: if you died tomorrow would you be happy with your today?

Keep in touch !

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:39 am

p.s. my point is this is ALL related- its not one thing, its all of it- there is a root cause of it all but you cant change one think without the other--

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 2:25 am

Hey Guys and Gals,
I gotta tell ya, Mike the youth minister on CD 2 had the exact same story as me. He was obsessing over whether the girl he was with was "the one", wondering if he was perfect, wondering if she was perfect...
A week into the program I went to the library looking for Lucinda's book From Panic To Power and Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh. I didn't find either book as they were checked out, ,but what I did find is a book that answered my "why?".
I now know why I sabotage relationships and obsess over them.
GET THIS BOOK: The Intimacy Struggle by Janet Woititz.

It was originally written for people that grew up in a alcoholic family but was revised to include a normal (LOL!) dysfunctional upbringing.

I read this book and all the relationship fears and the descriptions and went, "Oh my God! Thats me!!"

I was stressed out and hopeless after reading it, but only for a moment because I new what it was that was causing my anxiety and I knew that I could FIX MYSELF!!
WHAT A REVELATION!!!

Just knowing why was HUGE!!!

Between that book and the program I really feel like i know what to do now.

GUYS, go get this book if you can't figure out why you keep screwin' up in a relationship.

I'm tellin' you, it's gonna answer ALL of your questions and give you some insights that will make you laugh at your behavior!!!