College student who, just cannot find motivation.

Zacharts · Post by **Zacharts** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:10 pm

Hi, I am new here... but I will hopefully become a part of this community and learn and feel better about everything that is going on with me.
- My background/story: I always have had some sort of depression, not severe. And this sounds dumb, but I had a relationship end, that really hurt me. I for some reason went into a huge depression, and started having severe panic attacks. The panic attacks where so bad I would pass out- and yes I thought I was dying. So after about a six months of floundering from doctor to doctor to find out what was wrong with me. And six months or so of just reflection and self motivational talk. Here I am.
My mom, gave me the audio cd's of lucinda, and they do help. But I am in college, and It has been very hard to find the time to keep up with the tapes. And now, this extreme anxiety I have, that will not let me sleep has teamed up with my depression. I cannot find the motivation sometimes to do anything. Other times, I can work on my school stuff relentlessly- and everything is ok. I pray for some kind of change in my life, that God will help me. And then it all winds down to me calling my mom just to hear her say "you can do it" , " you will be ok "
I feel weird posting this, but I know if I am going to learn and become "well" again I have to get it out there, for feedback.
Please help...

-thanks

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 1:59 am

Hi Zacharts,
Welcome, I am new also. I just finished Lesson 1. I have been listening at night when I go to bed. I usually have trouble sleeping but whenever I try to listen to the CD, I fall asleep. So actually that alone has helped my insomnia. Then if I go somewhere during the day, I listen in the car. Since you are in college, maybe you could listen while walking from class to class if you have a portable cd player.

I wanted to tell you that I am so glad that you recognize your problem and are seeking help at a young age.I am 48 and have had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and am just now getting around to dealing with it. I wish I had done something like this at your age. Now I have 2 grown children and my 19 yr old daughter is going through a tough time and I wonder if she would be different if I had been different as a parent.

You are wise to deal with this now so you can go on to live a full, happy life. You will find this forum a great place for encouragement and help. I will pray for you.
Denise

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 10:32 am

Thanks, Just reading your response is encouraging for me.
much appreciated :p

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:30 am

Zacharts:
Please do not feel dumb. We are not. We just want to feel better, normal and be happy. When you get into the tapes you will find discussions about being happy with yourself, not needing a partner to make you happy. This is one of the hardest things you'll find to get through. It's me too. But with so many bad relationships behind me, I almost think I'll be happier alone. I don't know if that's true, but it is how I'm feeling now and I'm married and 46. I don't know how to tell you to like yourself except to dig out your good qualities because they are there. And the program goes over this. We have been like this for so long, although we are miserable, we are comfortable at the same time. Soul searching has been hard but it's also been effective for me. Don't give up. Session 1 was a very difficult but important step to get started. A counselor sent me to Session 12. These issues are where I'm stuck in overcoming change. Stick with it. And don't feel dumb. Lucinda and Dr. Fischer suggest that you may need med help to focus. Consider that.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:01 pm

Hi Zacharts,

Congratulations for taking that first essential step - asking for help.

I can personally relate to your extreme response to the ending of your relationship. The only times in my life that I have felt really depressed or anxious have been at the unexpected end of a significant relationship. I am learning to take better care of myself ("I am my own safe place and person").
It is easy to get caught up in relationship - to become so enmeshed that when the other person dies or leaves suddenly, it feels like a part of yourself goes with them. My advice is to use this time to learn to depend more upon yourself for your happiness and to develop your social network. Having a caring network of friends and family helps one to get over emotional wounds and provides opportunities to get a fresh point of view on one's problems. This forum seems like a good place to start.

I signed up for this program to learn more skills for coping with hard times. Currently my only complaint is insomnia/disrupted sleep cycles which are partly due to my work schedule and partly due to bad habits. When I was depressed and anxious, physical activity (running especially), good nutrition and seeing friends helped the most. That and finding a temporary sleep aid (calcium-magnesium and melatonin worked for me but check with your doctor.) Also, SRRIs (meds) can help you get back on track while you are learning the cognitive behavioral skills in this program. You might also want to speak with a counselor and see if you can reduce your academic load while you are learning new coping skills. The added pressure of deadlines and cramming probably add to your anxiety. Good luck in your journey!

Renji

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:12 pm

Its okay, you dont need to feel dumb. Losing someone who was in your life affects everyone differently. There's nothing wierd about you feeling down because of it.
Im new to this group too and I'm hoping to find some relief from my depression and anxiety. It's getting really old, and quite frankly, I'm tired of feeling like a timebomb. I think eventually, most people just get tired of it. Everyone else is enjoying life, and dammit, we should be able to too!
Good for you for spending some time on yourself, it really does take a big person to admit you need some help and an even bigger person to go out and try to make it happen!
I think the tapes will help you a lot, and if you're like me, these groups online will help even more...
i really hope you feel better soon, and I hope to see a smiling picture of you soon!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:12 pm

Good for you on posting! i know it can be hard dealing with all this while also going to college. i think you found a great place to help motivate you. Remember the quote from Oprah "motivation comes in the doing". i really belive that because i have a problem staying motivated but notice when you do get yourself going how it makes you feel and once you get past that first uncomfortable feeling the motivation starts to snowball.
I'm glad your mom got this program for you. You are young and can learn these lessons now...from the perspective of a 37 year old women just learning and having problems for the last 17 years (mine problems started in college)your already a head of the game. And if your not sleeping and your depression is worse don't hesitate to see a doc and get some helps. there's nothing wrong with meds, they are there to help us when we need them.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 1:31 pm

Thanks for all of the replies you guys. Reading these really gave me a sort of... hope.
I have been seeing a counselor, and I have tried many different meds. The one that I have found to work for me is Lamictal, but I had a scare with it. (The side affects)
But I saw my doctor on tuesday, and have started taking the medication again tonight, about an hour ago actually, at dinner with one of my friends.
I will get through this!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 1:40 pm

Zacharts...

I'm new to this whole program. You mentioned going to college, which left me curious about something. How are you with attending classes? And if you have ANY anxiety doing it, how do you deal with it? I have an anticipatory anxiety about it. I would probably be okay..but I don't know.

Alot of my anxiety stems from when I was attending college last year about this time..and I was dealing with IBS-D symptoms. I discovered I had a food intolerance later of Wheat/Gluten, but up until then..It was bad! If I ate something with wheat in it or Oats, next thing I knew I was getting cramps and the rumbles my abdominal area, and then it was ALL I do to cruise to the bathroom..a couple times I didn't make it..and THATS when I believe my Anxiety attacks started happening. I started worrying a lot. But the Anxiety definitely gradually crept up.

I am now trying to conquer this...and I really want to continue my classes.

MzSonja

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 1:58 pm

Denise

I, too, have dealt with anxiety for a long time! I always knew I could use something to calm my nerves down, but I just usually winged it. Now, at the age of 45, I'm finding that I can't really wing it anymore..or that's what I think. . I'm hoping that this program helps me to get a grip on it.

I take Celexa right now too, and it seems to help a majority of the time.

MzSonja