Having trouble going to church

Pixie_tired · Post by **Pixie_tired** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:01 am

this is a good post. recently i too have had problems being in church and feeling guilty and nervous, not feeling good enough for god for things i've done. i personally have found confession to be very helpful with a couple of things i have had a hard time forgiving myself. this last weekend however in church our priest talked about confession and how it is something that we should attend to monthly. he also said that no matter how good we are and how good we think we are there's always room for improvement and just because we haven't committed one of the major sins in life doesn't mean we shouldn't come to confession for the little things. i know there is always room for improvement in life but this really got me thinking of what else i need to confess and how i thought i have been such a good person for awhile now but it kind of slapped that idea out of my head. i find it confusing how church can be so helpful but twisted just right to make you feel guilty or put you back in your not so might place. i'm sure it's all in how a person perceives it but it has got me thinking.

DeniseD · Post by **DeniseD** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 9:20 am

Hi,
I noticed that a lot of us feel guilty. One thing that I do know that the Bible teaches about forgiveness is that God forgives us when we ask and that He doesn't keep an account of our sins. He chooses to forgive and FORGET.

However, as a human, even though I ask for forgiveness, I am the one who can't seem to forget.I tend to obsess about certain things I have done that I know are in the past and have been forgiven, so I am not sure what God thinks about it when I bring it up again. I can almost picture Him looking at an angel like "What's up with this? I don't know what she is talking about."

Oh, well, all I know is that no matter how long I live I will never get it all right and be able to get through a day without feeling that I should have been better. And that makes me so much more grateful that I can pray and ask for forgivenss and for a Father who chooses to forgive me and love me anyway. Every day we can start with a fresh slate.

And for all of us who are parents, it helps me a lot to think of my relationships with my kids. I know that no matter what they do, if they are truly sorry, I would never dream of not forgiving them. I realize that in the process of growing and learning they will often do things that are wrong and make silly choices. My role is to try to teach them and then pick them up and encourage them when they fall. I can not imagine not loving them. If I feel that way for them then I have to trust that God feels that way for us, His children.

yayme1227 · Post by **yayme1227** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:33 am

Hi! God loves us. What helps me to imagine God is sitting right there with me with his arm around me. I go to church by myself and just started going in the last year. I had not been consistently since I was a child. I knew I needed to be in church because I felt God was prompting me to go. So even though I was scared I knew I needed to go. I just try to always remember he is right there with me. The people at church are worried about themselves not us. I also believe it is Satan that causes the guilt and fearful thoughts because his goal it to keep us out of church. Just say No to him and go for God and you.

Sit-N-Spin · Post by **Sit-N-Spin** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:20 am

Great topic,

It's not between you and anyone else at you,"You and God".I ignore other things people are doing stay in the back and sometimes go to the front.Don't like a packed church never have and sometimes stand in the vestibule.If I really feel bad I watch it on TV.Part of the fight is walking into the church and you and God,no one else.

Anne G · Post by **Anne G** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:52 am

radarsmom: I know nothing of severe agoraphobia, but Lucinda does address the question? Are we really afraid to go? or Are we being pressured or forcing ourselves to do something we really just don't enjoy or want to do? Look for that answer. You might find that you just don't enjoy the whole church thing. I used to be church-goer and now only go when the boys are doing something special. Other than that I just don't enjoy it. I personally have learned more about God from TV than in any church.

Mossman · Post by **Mossman** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:58 am

Originally posted by DeniseD:
I have always felt uneasy going to church, too. Which makes no sense to me because I should want to be around others like me. However, there are at least three things that I can think of that would cause this.
1. It is a social situation and I do not like being in large groups of people.
2. I love talking to other people but in conversations with one or two at a time and really talking and listening. I hate small talk and social niceties. When people ask how you are doing I know they want you to say fine, smile and go along with the program.
3. and in church I feel that my depression and anxiety make me feel guilty since as Christians we are supposed to feel love, JOY and PEACE. Alright, then I feel like a big hypocrite or failure.
One thing I have thought about doing once I finish this program is to start a support group at church and see how many others are sitting there week after week with these same feelings.
Time to take off the masks.

By the way, with social anxiety, have you ever wondered if you will like heaven? I keep thinking I may not fit in there, too many people. I know that seems silly but there it is.

Hi:

You will fit in because you will have a Resurrection Body that will be imperishable, glorified, powerful and spritual! read I Corinthians 15:35.

Mossman

radarsmom · Post by **radarsmom** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:24 am

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the suggestions. I especially likethe idea of sitting there imagining Gods arm around me. What a wonderful idea! I am going to focus on that and on remembering that my fellow church goers are NOT there to just waiting for me to make a fool of myself. They are NOT my enemies.

Thanks again. I'll work on it.