My counselor says I get some kind of benefit from beating myself up when I make a mistake. I just know that it scares me sometimes to make a mistake. Everyone else that I know then thinks it is ridiculous to think the way that I do since they say it is no big deal. If people are mad then they are mad and they will get over it. Maybe they aren't mad but just frustrated or concerned.
AmandaJ
Benefits of Depression?
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Guest
Hi Amanda. My therapist says this to me too. I have had panic disorder since I was 17. When ever I have an anxiety/panic episode, and I don't want to follow my doctor's orders for medicine, I get told that I am benefiting in some way by not taking my meds and feeling better. I was totally shocked by this the first time I heard it. How could I not want to get better? I was in therapy and going to a psychiatrist. But the more I thought about it, the more I could see that this was true. When I "feel bad," I get taken care of by my friends or family. People worry over me, and I guess this is the way I get the attention that I want and am not getting. What I need to do is figure out a way to get the attention that I want in a healthy way, or be able to provide my own attention to myself.
I don't know if this helps you at all. But it does seem to be true. There really is some benefit that we are getting out of all of this.
You might want to consider talking to someone to find out what it is.
Take care,
Missletoes
I don't know if this helps you at all. But it does seem to be true. There really is some benefit that we are getting out of all of this.
You might want to consider talking to someone to find out what it is.
Take care,
Missletoes
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Guest
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Guest
Hey there - I think it is lesson 12 where Lucinda talks about 'secondary gains' - the fact that you are getting something out of having the condition. You'll love that lesson - it really explains it well.
I didn't know what my gain was until a few weeks ago. I realized it was my avoidance from responsibility. I've been the typical 'over-achiever' all my life and have always taken on too much, then did whatever it took to get it done. With the anxiety and depression, it's like I can say 'no' to additional responsibilities because I have the condition - they are my reason for turning things down and for doing less, instead of me learning to modify my expectations of myself.
It's confusing, but really, lesson 12 will help!
Ronda
I didn't know what my gain was until a few weeks ago. I realized it was my avoidance from responsibility. I've been the typical 'over-achiever' all my life and have always taken on too much, then did whatever it took to get it done. With the anxiety and depression, it's like I can say 'no' to additional responsibilities because I have the condition - they are my reason for turning things down and for doing less, instead of me learning to modify my expectations of myself.
It's confusing, but really, lesson 12 will help!
Ronda
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Guest
Ronda E
I have read lesson 12 and just wasn't for sure what I am resisting. I do have an avoidance behavior since it is comfortable dealing with oneself and easier to help others since their is no emotional attachment. My anxiety really scares me. I am a control freak taking on everyone's problems except my own. My Counselor says I am a "Approval Seeker". When I seek the approval of 50 some people or more, then this overwhelming of course. I trying to learn to seek my own approval and working on it.
AmandaJ
I have read lesson 12 and just wasn't for sure what I am resisting. I do have an avoidance behavior since it is comfortable dealing with oneself and easier to help others since their is no emotional attachment. My anxiety really scares me. I am a control freak taking on everyone's problems except my own. My Counselor says I am a "Approval Seeker". When I seek the approval of 50 some people or more, then this overwhelming of course. I trying to learn to seek my own approval and working on it.
AmandaJ